Give me another drink she said
I've nothing else to do
It helps me with the pain I have
It helps me forget you
I love my boys so much she said
They are the reason for my being
But the five year old took care of her
When the alcohol was flowing
We're so happy nothing happened
As she drove the boys around
The angels where always there we know
They kept them safe and sound
She hid it well, we did not know
We did not even think
Of the horrors that where going on
And how low that she would sink
The intervention started today
We finally did what's right
We stepped in to save the boys
And help her see the light
There is nothing else that we can do
The rest is up to her
We pray that she can kick this thing
That makes her life a blur
I've nothing else to do
It helps me with the pain I have
It helps me forget you
I love my boys so much she said
They are the reason for my being
But the five year old took care of her
When the alcohol was flowing
We're so happy nothing happened
As she drove the boys around
The angels where always there we know
They kept them safe and sound
She hid it well, we did not know
We did not even think
Of the horrors that where going on
And how low that she would sink
The intervention started today
We finally did what's right
We stepped in to save the boys
And help her see the light
There is nothing else that we can do
The rest is up to her
We pray that she can kick this thing
That makes her life a blur
Author notes
Written May 3rd, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- 2nd Contest of Anything by fallen-leaf.
450 points, ended January 1, 2007, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything. by Escape--.
525 points, ended March 13, 2007, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Personal Best #4 (Prewrites Allowed) by aGent Lemon.
360 points, ended March 26, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best by Nyabbi.
354 points, ended April 8, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options!! Lots of `em by Maybe Anastasia.
390 points, ended May 8, 2007, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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mm very nice. it gave me goose bumps. well written. I like the simplistic out there angle. Great write thanks for the entry.
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LifesRoughCowgirlUp
Thank you for the encouraging comments. I am glad that you enjoyed my poem.
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This is a very amazing poem. I can deeply relate to; my father being an alcoholic and me being the young child. Alcohol is a curse and is very hard to be freed from.
'She hid it well, we did not know
We did not even think
Of the horrors that where going on
And how low that she would sink'
This line helps to show what distress she is in and the point of view form the other people. Thank you so much for entering my contest and good luck.
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Thank you Itaske94
You comments on my poem are greatly appreciated. I am glad that you liked it. Thank you for hosting this contest.
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Wow.
Wow, I truly loved this poem. Its full of meaning and deep emotion. Awesome. Plus, there is a nice flow to this poem. Well keep up the great work and thanks for entering my contest. Good luck! -
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Thank you
Thank you so much for your comments. I am glad that you liked my poem. It strikes very close to home for me.
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This wasn't too bad. There were some grammatical errors, but other than that it had a good flow.
However, it's not exactly what I'm looking for.
In order to make judging easier, I am going to remove it from the contest. I hope you understand.
xAx -
Thank you so much for your comments Manic Poet. Thank you for hosting this contest.
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aww that is sad..
This was a good poem..
And The form was good.
Thank you for the entry. -
Thank you so much for your comments Broken Reality. They are appreciated.
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This is brilliant! It is quite an eye opener... Something like this can go so unnoticed until it is dangerously too late... I'm glad that there was intervention in this case... Well done
Thankyou for entering and good luck...
Take care...
~Ash~ -
Thank you so much for your comments honey bear. This was a very hard poem to write because I was so close to the subject.
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very good
an exelent write my friend thank you for sharing this with us and keep up the good work
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Thank you for your applause and comment Wolfheart. I am honored that you would put me on your favorites.
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awesome
Kudos - you use rhyme beautfully. I am putting you on my faves list and hope to read a lot more of your work. This is a tragedy that is so prevelent. God bless you for intervention. Sometimes we want to stop bad habits, but just have the courage, or a starting point. hugs WolfHeart -
Thank you for the kind words.
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this is a very well written poem for a very touchy subject. thank you for caring enough about those boys and their mother to intervene. also, thank you for sharing this write with me. viyanna rosemarie
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Thank you so much for the comments. They are very much appreciated.
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Great rhythm and rhyme - easy to read and understand. These interventions are sometimes a last resort and if they fail, it's rock bottom. Hope it works in this case - the kids need here, and she needs them, although she might not thinks so when drunk.
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woah! I like this one alot. The rhyme is perfect and you get kudos for writing it now
It flows perfectly, and has alot of emotion, it definitely is a topic quite close to my heart and that makes me really sad, so I guess it works
Well done x
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