“Go to Church,” he screams.
“Avoid eternal damnation,” He yells!
A crazy preacher.
I stand up in the middle of church.
I am in the front row.
Everybody looks at me.
“You go to Hell! Fucking Prick.” I yell.
I leave.
Outside on the church steps I light up a smoke.
I need something to drink- liquor.
Fumble my keys.
Z3 BMW
I’m a rich asshole.
I open the prescription drugs.
Down my throat goes a handful.
That’s how it is.
Looking for something to smoke or swallow.
Spending the day high off my ass.
That is the only way for me to live.
Live
Alive
Conscious
I don’t want to be any of those.
I get my liquor with my fake ID.
Go home.
A house my dad bought for me.
I am an ungrateful prick they say.
I’m coming to my final mistake.
No- no proofreading through this.
The first copy is the final one.
And I’m coming to my final mistake!
Nobody can stop me!
Nobody can help!
Nobody.
I drink until I pass out.
Author notes
Written May 3rd, 2006
A contest entry
- When You Know its Wrong - But you Believe its Right (winner takes all) by Gypsy Rover.
1000 points, ended June 21, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
wow, this is the only write in the contest that has me close to tears. This is an amazing write- the way you can bring out emotion so subtely. I can't explain it, but this is one of the best poem I have read on this site. It really is worthy of something. It is really touching- with out the author overtly wanting it to be touching. Just excellent in my humble opinion. PS I pray for you- if there is a real God- this is the kind of heart he admires.
-
With all the hipocracy in the modern churches, I think that there needs to be more people to put a reality check to these so-called religious people that get richer off of the multitudes that can barely feed themselves. I may not agree with the lifestyle alternative you present but the part of not buying into the "Holiness" thing that is being offered these days is right on in my hunble opinion.
-
You are a moron. This poem has nothing to do with me. You are so egotistical and overbearing that you come across as an ass. Ever think it could be made up? I guess ur' just one'ose smart people they be talking 'bout who understands everything. Shutup... seriously man. scorpanther you are an idiot... what a surprise he deleted it. If anybody wants to give constructive criticism that's fine but don't butcher me just because.
Edited on May 06, 8:11 p.m. because ''. -
deep but very onest and being depressed can make the whole world black there is a light you have to find it and noone is worth nothing, this is original and brave
ebony
-
Loved this one, Ativan. The wording was contemporary and so I loved. I really liked the last stanza. That would have been a powerful finish without the last line. Loved the story line too, and a great opening as well. Okay, so, yea, I basically, I loved the whole thing!!
-
Great write
- joanne
-
I think that it is funny that in this poem you talk about not giving a damn what people think and then put a disclaimer in to get people to read it on the shameless section lol. I love your response to feedmephish, that was hilarious, and although i am sure he learned nothing, it was a wonderful response any way.
Now, as for the poem. I am not a "church goer" and when I did give it a shot I found myself surrounded by so many hypocrites that I couldnt take it and stopped. I am not saying that church is evil, it is just not for me. I dont need those kind of people in my life. I am not a spoiled rich brat and I dont have the nice car or the clothes and that is not what matters to me, but I have had bouts of alcohol and drug abuse so I can sympathise with that. My son brought a whole new prospective to my life though. Sometimes I still get depressed, but I will not allow myself to wallow in it anymore. He is what keeps me away from my self destructive habits. I think you did a good job expressing yourself. Keep up the good work. -
I liked this poem, it's a bit depressing but good. One can totally feel the frustration of the narrator and how they're sick of everything. It's a good write, keep it up
xoxoxo
*Baby Princess* -
evocative emotionally
I had times like that before.. not the most pleasant time, 'cause even when you've got all the drugs you could find in your system you still know there's something wrong.
Depression is a terrible period in anyone's life, and I hope you get through it well.
This poem really reminds me of my own bout of it two years ago (that I'm just now getting over x.x).
Really great poem, Ativan. Kudos to you. -
Oh wow, this is very intense. I liked it. It's really sad. Depression makes the worst in us come out. I'm glad I had overcome my three years of total hate towards myself, and I hope that someday you will feel better and that all will be well.
Take Care,
Jasmine
-
no I am afraid your wrong. Depressed people are not worthless. "True knowledge is knowing what you do not know."- Walden... Your a smug ass for inferring that. I admit the character was somewhat flamboyant but to say depressed people like that are worthless and knowing nothing of life. I would love for you to spend one day in my shoes- one night in the dozens of hospitals I have been in. Perhaps then you would understand. You are a narrow-minded human.
Studies currently show that depressed people see the world how it is. People who don't suffer from depression, "... Are looking at the world in a different manner..." NPR. It goes on to explain that perhaps it is depressed people that see the true reality and somehow got dragged down by genetics. What I am saying is that you know nothing about depressed people. Do you get that? Good? Now I am banning you.... he deleted his comment...
Edited on May 06, 8:14 p.m. because ''. -
depressing, people like that are worthless, know nothing of life, hope its not you
-
I love it. ^^
I'll join you in being excommunicated, gladly. Don't you love the hypocrites that attend church, yet scream at you for not doing so while they booze up and beat their spouses? Oh yea. Heaven for them, totally! -gags-
I lvoe the bluntness of this. Its incredibly original and creative. Kudos! -
wow...this was very interesting. I like how you try to explain what is going on without being too complex. The emotions can really be seen in this piece and I like that alot.
-
Very Good!
You wrote this very nicely and this poem is very original.I loved it.You expressed your kind of frustration really well in this.Keep it up! -
Oooh, I liked this....alot! I really enjoy your style.
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
