she always lingers along my path
she is one that i can't escape
every time i turn away she changes
i see her staring at me
with eyes of gloss
she overwhelms me
the colors that flow across her body
a mixture of life
a love for everything
she is the only one that i can rely on
mother nature
she is always there
mother nature
she is the one
mother nature
Author notes
this is for an assinment so sorry if it's really bad! we need to write a poem about mother nature. i based mine off of the first picture which is option #1
Written May 3rd, 2006
A contest entry
- New members contest - May 2006 by AP Greeters.
300 points, ended June 5, 2006, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I love the flow, and I adore the repetition. You have written an amazing piece with such wonderful simplicity. Great job! Good luck in the contest. Hugs, Patricia
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I usually don’t care for repetition, unless a specific form requires it, but I liked the way you did it here. It reinforced your feelings quite nicely.
~ John
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with eyes of gloss lol, i applaud ur way of thinking. Well done. Thank you for taking the time to pen this sweet little piece, it is lovely
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This poem was interesting to read, and i think the edits you have done have improved the poem greatly.
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I think your perspective is quite interesting. One would think that nature is unreliable, like in that saying "nothing changes like the weather" (or something like that lol). Anyways, you've twisted this point of view, and that adds an interesting taste to this piece.
Thanks for entering, and welcome to the site.
Best wishes in the contest,
Stacy
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This poem has indeed suspiciously much from lyrics
but I really like that in fact, I was trying to hum something while I was reading the words here it has this kind of flow that really attracts the reader...
So in answer of your author's comment: this isn't bad at all
just a little note though: in the rules there is stated that you have to put the option you chose in these author's comments, otherwise you won't be eligible for a trophy so please, remember to do so before the contest closes for judging
thank you for taking the time to enter this contest - I wish you the best of luck! -
Delightful read! Just falls off your tongue in a sing song manner. Best wishes in the contest!~vj
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I think this is very nicely written. I really liked the first line. As Thistle mentioned you have a typo, you can (edit) that from the top of the page. Also you need to mention your option # in your author's comments. Thank you for entering teh contest. Good luck to you and welcome to AP
~Kristy -
Don't forget to mention the option number in your author comment box.
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Great work!!!!!
I have to say that I personally think this is great. The typo that was pointed out will need to be corrected and I love the idea that Thistle had for the change in your last stanza. The poem is short enough that it would keep it within the guidelines of 20 lines or less. Thank you for such an enjoyable read and best wishes in the contest. Welcome to All Poetry and enjoy many happy hours on this great site. Joyce
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Odd how sometimes a personal love doesn't bring us what the earth in its seasonal beauty does, as it's always there, and does this marvelous show for us on the terrestrial mantle. I think if I hadn't married, I would have lived in a cabin in the woods, and let the masculine and feminine qualities of nature flirt with my eyes and heart and inspire me to a novel.
You have done this with this write...made the beauty and even its angry meteorology take priority in one's creed of appreciations.
Thank you for entering and welcome to the site!
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To me this did seem like a kinda song that you have wrote. It was injoyable to read and flows really well. good luck in the contest
WELCOME to the AP site
Dawn -
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i think it was good great job!
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Nice poem...good luck o nthe contest
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In reference to your authors notes, I don't think it is bad at all. It is really sort of lyrical and I could see the last stanza becoming a a chorus. Personally, I really like poems with no punctuation and all lower case lettering. I also like the fact that you did not capitalize your --i--. For me the lowercase instances of the pronoun i are more effective and less visually distracting, though oppinions on that vary from reader to reader.
I noticed one mispelled word in the first line of your last 3 line stanza. I think you intended to type --rely-- rather than --relay--. Since this is a poem that depends on line breaks to guide us through rather than punctuation, I also think that in the last stanza, it would read easier if you put a line break after mother nature in both those lines. The last 2 lines of that stanza would become 4 lines, but that would still leave it under 20 lines so it would be in compliance with the contest rules.
she is the only one that i can rely on
mother nature
she is always there
mother nature
she is the one
mother nature
By laying it out in that manner, you also take the attention off the triple use of the phrase mother nature. That way it doesnt distract the reader where they miss the effect.
This is a very enjoyable poem. Good luck in the contest and welcome to AllPoetry
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