Beauty delicate with the fine lines, of hatred.
Wrapped in the cloak of eternity,
yet found naked.
Fragrances of romance and passion, and roses.
The putrid smell of demise and spoiled water, and hatred.
Built from the roots of the trees, and burning.
Tortured by the agonizing betrayal, of life.
Sacred, eternal, and beautiful,
forever no more.
Rotting, decaying flesh and flower,
we fall.
The Mother betrayed by her son and daughter,
the guns are shooting still.
Slaughtered at the hands of ignorance,
the lives are dwindling still.
We may all fall, but She falls further,
and the weight of the world is too much on our shoulders...
Author notes
Option One: How the Mother has fallen
Written May 2nd, 2006
A contest entry
- New members contest - May 2006 by AP Greeters.
300 points, ended June 5, 2006, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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A nicely done piece. Emotional and passionate, loved the last stanza. Great job. Good luck in the contest. Patricia
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This was a very interesting write to say the least. I liked how you chose to express your thoughts within your lines. Nicely done.
~ John
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Very deep, i can see the depth from which teh words sprang up. Good job bravo ! Keep it up and best wishes in the contest
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This poem is quite sad and dark, but it is very enjoyable to read, thanks to the lovely imagery you use in this piece.
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Great write and welcome to AP
This is really well penned and full of sad imagies, yet, there is still that small spark of hope that all is not lost. -
I think this was a great expression of the picture! You've relayed a crucial and disturbing message in such a "graceful" manner.
I like the sporadic rhyme in the final stanza (whether or not it was intended).
Thanks for entering, and welcome to the site.
Best wishes in the contest,
Stacy
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This is a very interesting and in fact beautifully written complaint against society (the children of mother nature) and the way we are destroying her in fact I really like the way you translated that picture with your words here... very well done!
thank you for taking the time to enter this contest - I wish you the best of luck! -
A powerful ending to a dynamic write. You have brought to the forfront the dangers that lurk b/c of the way we mistreat our planet. Nice job!!!!! vj
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I loved your last six lines.. excellent job expressing your thoughts here. I enjoyed reading your words. Thank you for entering teh contest and following the rules. Best of luck to you and welcome to AP
~Kristy -
Very powerful!!!!!
This is a very descriptive write you have penned here. In order to have it judged I hope you will make a couple of necessary edits to it. You didn't put the option you chose in the author comment box and it needs to be 20 lines maximum.
I would hate to see you lose out with such a good work that you submitted. Very heartfelt and the emotions are so strong.
Best wishes in the contest and welcome to All Poetry. Enjoy many happy hours of reading and writing on this great site you have chosen to be a part of.
Joyce
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Very descriptive write that you have done. Emotions run with all your words in this and brought a little tear to my eye from the sadness. I can tell that this has cone stright from your heart and not just out of your head. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Also
WELCOME to the AP site
Dawn -
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Wonderful language and artful descriptives here. Very sad and
heartfelt, and realistic. Poignant.
Aside from also putting the picture/option choice from the criteria's choices in the Authors Comment area, I wonder if you could combine a few of the lines so as to meet with the required 20 lines. It would be a good contender.
Welcome to the site! : Warmly, CookieZeal
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Oops I nearly forgot to mention. There is a 20 line limit in the rules. You will need to change a line break here and there, but it should be relatively easy to get the poem reduced to 20 lines without changing wording. It is still a beautiful poem.
Best of luck again
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This is a very descriptive piece filled with imagery for us to make comparisons in metaphore. Very nicely done. It is sad, but it still gives me the feeling that there can be solutions if we as individuals seek them out.
Good luck in the contest and welcome to AllPoetry
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