It happened in a moment
That was all it took
I fell in love
With just one look
I wanted you heart
Because i gave you mine
But it belonged to some one else
And at first that was fine
So I ignored reality
Because i could believe it was true
And my heart took a beating
It turned black and blue
But as time went on
My heart healed
And I faced you
My feelings no longer concealed
I realized on some level
I would always love you
But my timing was off
I need something new
In the end I realized
That you made me better
You made me see me
And that's the purpose of this letter
Author notes
enough said...david... this is to you
Written May 2nd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
-
Cool. Nice storytelling and a neat little ending that made me smile. (isn't that what we're all trying to do, find ourselves) There's something wrong with the first line of the second stanza "I wanted you[r?] heart" Other than that, nicely done. Much Love.
-
Rad
All I have to say, and all I can say, is that you deserve an A+. Twenty rad points to you! -
we reach for the stars and settle for the moon.
I like your closing stanza how you thanked the person for allowing the reflection of the lesson to see you abit clearer
and in the end that was really all you needed.
it is good clean fun.
the writing is sharp, good flow and easy to follow
second stanza needs tightening [your] heart
replace the word and with [which] whenever you can or [as]
third stanza second line add the word Not
hope this helps.
Tamara
-
brilliant
The style you used for writing this poem is how i enjoy reading them best . I can feel the emotion in your poem. Closing this chapter in your life has been summed up beautifully in your words... i can relate to the line "so i ignored reality, because i could believe it was true" because i supose i've all ways wanted to live the dream too.
Hope the new you gets stronger each day..love and light. xcapricex




1 old applause
