Slipping and sliding on the dark earthen floor
Hands out in front feeling for a way out
How did she get here and whatever for
feeling a rough wet surface she uttered a shout
It seems to be a cave or a cavern she's in
With her back against the side she began to slide
Her foot hits something her mind starts to spin
Her heart is now drumming from the terror inside
Jerking back her foot she stood perfectly still
Too terrified to move as she heard a soft muffled cry
Then it suddenly gets louder and becomes shrill
but fades slowly away as if it was starting to die
She hears scrapping and clicking coming her way
Holding her breath she pushes back against the side
She jumps and screams as much to her dismay
her clothes are being ripped off and hands are tied
She's thrown to the ground and dragged to a ledge
Then placed there and retied with arms and legs spread
Terror is growing, sanity gone as she feels a sharp edge
tracing around her breasts and something's placed on her head
The darkness recedes as candles are lit one by one
She screams at seeing creatures standing all around
What she sees in the corner almost makes her undone
bits and pieces of what was once human litters the ground
The creatures advance with their fangs and their claws
Eyes glowing red in the candle light fills her with dread
Their mouths lower to her body and widely open their jaws
then begins eating and ripping her flesh streaking it red
She's dying as her steaming entrails are pulled out and devoured
her heart is still beating as it is it handed to their king
Her carcass laid open and every last bloody morsel is scoured
Eyes are eaten, marrow sucked from bone, wasting not a thing
The skeletal remains are thrown in the pile with the others
They begin dancing around screeching and howling their glee
Slapping each other on the back like fraternity brothers
Then with bellies full and satisfied they lounged in the cavern lazily
Author notes
"Cannibal Corpse"
Written May 2nd, 2006
A contest entry
- Gore laced Insanity by Synthetic-Nightmare.
750 points, ended July 9, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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HAHAHAH
THIS IS......ASTOUNDING.....B.REATHTAKING.....FUCKING, I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE CHILLS THIS CAUSED, this is fuckin hot as hell. Very sadistic, AND I LOVE how you mentioned she was tied down, it gives you a sense of helplessness.....unable to prevent her own gruesome demise. Lovely indeed. Good luck
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Thanks, yeah pretty different kinda write for me, lol. Thanks again. Jeannie
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ooooo cannibalism... in a sense^.^ and the picture works wonderfully with it^.^
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Oops!! Sowwy, I reckon it should come with a warning!! Thanks, you always make the best comments.
Jeannie
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Jeannie, the ONLY thing that I see wrong with this piece...
I was eating a sloppy piece of NY style pizza, cheese and grease dripping all over... while I was reading. Made for an itneresting dinner. LOL
Fantastic imagary and story line. Wonderful flow.
Thanks for entering and good luck
Storm -
sorry but you haven't read the rules; better luck next time
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nothing like a little blood to get the loins throbbing screw those two downer comments what do they know this rocks great job
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ooooo, yucky sick images! so perfect for the contest! crazy!
*loves* -
effortless rhyme and very intriguing.the images conjured are quite scary but nevertheless also captivating.
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oh yes..this is defintiely to my liking...i like how you were so descriptive in this poem...the way you described it was so amazing
Thnx for your comment on my song "LIKE A VAMPIRE"...its prolly one of the favorite ones of mine that ive written -
Well hon, not bad at all for a 1st time write on the darkside. If I was you, I'd just reread it myself and see how it feels now. If you see a problem with it, than change that part. And if not leave it alone. It's a great blood and gore write.
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5 out of 10
Not as good as it can be if you would take more time and think it through. Your vision of what is going on around you is forced out of context and seemingly unbelievable but, in that, it does have potentual or, I would'nt have said anything. I don't like saying anything bad about anyones' poetry but, I will not lie to you. -
I am not too sure about this poem, maybe its because its about vampires. For me the rhyme is forced in places, also I wonder how you can carry on telling us the tale after you have been devoured? The imagery is fine and gives good visual effects to the story, so all in all not a bad piece of work.Good luck in the contest. Val.
and garlic. lol
Edited on May 04, 2:40 p.m. because ''. -
Thank you for reading and commenting. Jeannie D
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I find myself left SHIVERING within the dank and putrid darkness of your write.
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Jeannie D
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Jeannie D
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awesome
dark and chilling. well done thank you for sharing your words with me. thank you for sharing your words with me. keep on writing. -
Scary all right, and I like the rhyme and cadence.
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Thank you for reading and commenting. Jeannie D
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An interesting poem at best. I just love a story with a happy ending. A frenzied orgy is always the way to go.
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I have never written anything like this befire, I did it for the contest, so normally I sleep ok. Thanks again. Jeannie D
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TY for reading and commenting. Jeannie D
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Jeannie D
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Thank you for reading and commenting. Jeannie D
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Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
Jeannie D
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Thank you for reading and commenting.
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Not bad! There are a few bad moments (fraternity buddies? ouch!) but all in all this is pretty damn good. The rhyme and rhythm overall are good, and the story is good. Overall, this is pretty good, and I wish you well in further poetic endeavors. Good job! - oce
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Tame. LET'S EAT!!!!
And you remembered this? Where's your head?
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This is totally scary. How do you sleep at night? Good though.
Edited on May 04, 1:40 p.m. because 'typo'. -
Beautifully written and espressed. Loved the vivid images that you describes so well, scary and fast paced. Great work, keep your pen forever flowing! Bunny
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I love how this fits with the picture. The images are so well described. The flow is excellent and very impressive. Great job on this.
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Good
Like the poem. Loves the words. -
The last two lines are my favorite. From fraternity brothers to frenzied orgy...Awesome.
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hey! beautiful beautiful beautiful. i really love the vivid descriptions. keeop it on.
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10
Great poem. Very good. -
OMG I had to reach for my pillow and read this from behind the damn thing !!!!
Scary stuff but SUCH a pleasure to read ...will have to read more of this stuff!!!
Thankyou for sharing hun and for making me shiver xxx -
Chilling
Excellent work, love the flow of it, it's fast paced and keeps you on the edge of your seat. The ending is very good as is all of it. The picture is awesome and it all works very well. This is a chilling and dark poem written extremely well.
Good luck in the contest.
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