Death whispered softly on the breeze,
Just take my hand and come within,
Why do you fear? Walk to the light,
For here is where life will begin.
I'll gently rock you in my arms
And sing a gentle lullaby,
Then as I cut that mortal cord,
To cosmic portals you will fly.
Your mortal span, a stepping stone,
So come with me, you'll know such joy,
You'll find that earthly appetites
No longer will your conscience cloy.
Just close your eyes and drift away,
I'll fly you past the realms of night,
And when you wake you will be bathed
In such pure and sacred light.
A contest entry
- loseing sum 1 by Christina-is-crazy.
300 points, ended September 22, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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SUCH A GREAT POEM, THANKS SO MUCH FOR ENTERING MY CONTEST, I REALLY APPRICATE IT, MY AUNT DIED LAST NIGHT, [[TEAR]] SO I JUS WANTED TO READ ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES EXSPERINCES!!
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SUCH A GREAT POEM, THANKS SO MUCH FOR ENTERING MY CONTEST, I REALLY APPRICATE IT, MY AUNT DIED LAST NIGHT, [[TEAR]] SO I JUS WANTED TO READ ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES EXSPERINCES!!
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Now this is good. I enjoyed the read very much. Like the title too. Very creative. Good job. Good luck in the contest. Thanks for sharing this wonderful tale.
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Very nice... and it goes with the prompt even
Well done and best of luck...
Ken
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still wonderful i love it so much i think i commented some time ago but it must have been so popular that i have falen off the bottom lol
hahah xxx -
Very nice piece! Lovely word choice with a great sense of tranquility. Thanks for entering!
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The rhyme is rather mesmerizing. It was the first thing that captured my attention in the whole poem. Your choice of words is also quite captivating. I love the detail, it is almost magical. This was a great write, very interesting. Keep up the good work.
Love the one and only never phony,
xX Young Black Woman Xx -
CAPTURING...detailed, a wonderful poem and title... speechless to say much more. Good job!! Thanks for entering && good luck!
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This was an awesome write good job and good luck.
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Well Hi, thought you had gone to the moon,lol, thanks a million, hugs Di
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Powerhouse write
Damn woman this is beyond deep!!
I dont know what else to say that others havent already said
Rae -
Hi Di,
Reading these words seems like a refreshing and cleansing experience.
Send you good wishes and love,
Sau. -
o0o0o0o what an absolutely gorgeous picture
loved the write too 
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awesome write and grafic...!! Seems I commented on this already..but heres another applause!!
LOVED your comment about the grafix..HEY this is Multi-media ..CMON!!!
Edited on May 07, 4:43 because 'not enuf sed'. -
wonderfully written
This is a very emotional and sensitive poem, and I really enjoyed reading it. I think that you have talent, and you'll get far in life with poetry, whether it's being published in a book or magazine. This is wonderfully written and I would enjoy reading more of your poems. -
Such a godly tone speak here, with wisdom and knowhow, lovely work! See you when I get back! Tony
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grreatt
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Absolutely gorgeous...haunting
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Hi stranger, great to hear from you, how are you? thanks a million, hugs Di
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Hi, I do , but I doubt if you do, about your quest, then I advise you to obliterate yours first,lol, if your eyes hurt is probably because your brain just passed out of the other end of your body,lol, enjoy your trip, Di
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Please try to be diplomatic in bold above, but I am on a mission to eradicate bad poetry from the word. Have all of you never even opened a book of poetry from a library before? This is bad. Makes my eyes hurt. Do you even know what cloy means?
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This was so amazing, it brought tears to my eyes and I can't find the words to describe it.
"I'll gently rock you in my arms
And sing you such a lullaby,
Then as I cut that mortal cord,
To cosmic portals you will fly."
This part was like a sucker punch. A brilliant, genius piece of work! -
nice imagry and great imagination! I love the title and the content lived up to it nicely. I really enjoyed this piece and can see why it is adored by so many.
huggles
~Lena~ -
This is great
such inspirering poetry -
Very tempting to follow...
love how the perspective was Death's. -
Wow. This is great. Normally in comments I add the part I loved the most... well, I can't, because I love the whole thing. Truly amazing. I adore it. Great write. I have nothing else I can say about it. It's just awesome.
yellowsub -
Hi there mmmmmmm, one can be bathed with or in so both would be ok,lol, thanks a million, hugs Di
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WoW, very deep, I liked your descriptions "As I cut that mortal Cord" for just an example of many I liked in your poem... You are a wonderful poet, your wings will spread and take flight to new wonderful possibilites as you excell in poetry, you clearly have a talent for. Reach for the stars, you have the potention to go all the way...
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Okay Di, since you are always honest with me...I think the last line should read "with such (a) pure and sacred light". But that's just me. By the way, I think this poem is awesome!
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This is seriously amazing. Just..wow. Deep, meaningful, it brings death out into a beautiful light, whcih I believe it is for the most part. This one seriously did hit me deep. It's amazing. Excellent job.
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The theme of death was somehow made to seem gentle and beautiful. I felt strangely relaxed reading your poem and you succeeded in keeping it concise and with depth of meaning. I am glad to have read this.
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wow. i really enjoyed this read. you said a whole lot, and managed not to ramble on. you brought forth the essence of death, very spiritual, good write.
keep on truckin' -
very sad.. and dark... but not 'dark'.. its soothing.. just like a lullaby.. despite the content... so well written.. gorgeous write
all me love
jess -
wow. this is a really good poem. I usually like morbid dark and things to deal with death. But you put in perspective of a happy death. I guess death can be morbid, or happy and a beginning of things. I never thought of it this way, but now I just might have to seriusly think about it, good write
~JoeJoes Babygirl~ -
Excellent Writing
I agree with this completely. --Ellis -
This is very good. It actually reminds me of something I wrote, called Death:
allpoetry.com/Poem/1746154
Maybe you'll like it. This is much better though, I think. The idea of Death's lullaby is haunting. I love it.
Wonderful job. Keep up the awsome work.
amanda -
This is dark yet gentle. A very inruiging combination. Hard to pull off too but, I believe you did so splendidly. Congrats on the great work.
Demonic Mistress xxx -
I enjoyed this piece, a real great piece, wrought with strong words, and creativity. The picture, was a beautiful addition and really set the mood.
Good job. I've always liked your works. -
Well, I accidentally clicked on this, but I must say,..... I am so very glad that I did! This is a wonderful spiritual write. Gives so much hope to those who have lost someone close to them. I really sincerely appreciate this message. Very touching, and so very true. And the way you expressed this is just literally out of this world! Bless you for sending this message out to the world! Well deserving of all this applause. Adding mine! Susan
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Hi, lol, don't worry, there is always someone who does not understand, this time you are the first so you win the cupie doll, lol, hugs Di
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Very good indeed.
Very intelligent poem. I love the vision. -
This is a very beautiful and comforting poem, my friend. I hope when my time comes I can go like this, just a peaceful sleep and wake up among the stars.
A brilliant poem, such a sweet lullaby for death
Good luck in the contest
Dee
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:D
I don't quite stand understand exactly whats going on here. I think someone died and went somewhere else...maybe heaven. It has a nice flow and rhyme sceme, but I totally didn't understand. Thanks for writing. Love and Peace Charlene
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this is really good!wow,keep at it!
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Wow, i really love this poem.I love the lines 'i'll gently rock you in my arms and sing you such a lullaby' sounds so gentle and peacefull.
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Death is usually seen in many ways but this is a good description for it
<3ashley -
great work
This is how death should be seen by all -
nutfactor9... but..
mmm... even though im an athiest.. composed of no more than matter and cells...
i liked the sentiments in here
i felt that it was a neet demonstration of the afterlife concept shared by all the worlds religious nutters...
explaining the atraction well
the verry light that pulls in so many dumb moths...
a good 1
respek -
beautiful
It is good to see that someone is not afraid of death. It has such a bad reputation. Thank you for sharing this. I hope you do well in the contest. -
Beautifully written, such a peacefully written poem about death. A subject so many fear and always see as dark and dreaded, instead of seeing for what it is a new beganning.
Very nice. -
Wow, haha so many replies, I really need to make mine count...
I loved your depiction and creation of death into a beautiful transition, which is what it is correctly. I enjoyed the fact that you managed to show that through your write and also liked the imagery and the metaphor of a lullaby. I have a weak spot for those. Anyway, nuff said I loved it!!!
Dally -
This is a lovely poem. Very nice. Sniffer
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Excellente"
WOW,Masterblaster;What a 'fantastic-write;another wonderful-poem,from you..."Love-it!"""""Great-Expression,Too....Love,YourFriend,Shirley ann shaw-Raytown,mo.64133 "God-Bless"............ -
wow, this poem sure seems popular. I can see why too, I enjoyed it all the way through. keep up the excellent writing.
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Beautiful soothing write .
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i love your dpoem its great well i hope you write more because im looking forward to it peace out
from
tigger -
very good
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Well, this is definitely a different look on Death. I like it. It seems tempting and peaceful when it's usually such a dreaded and horrifying thing to look ahead to. I like the different portrayal. Nice work on this.
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Very Good
thats cool! I just thought this was really creative and I foumd myself wondering what I could create. It really inspired me because of the creativity. -
i really like this keep it up
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well this is definently the best lullaby about death that i ever read. it makes death seem so peaceful and gives it a good name instead of what most people think it is. i could read this before i go to sleep. well good luck in the contest (if it isn't already over). God Bless and keep on writing.
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I never thought I could read a good poem about death; Thank you for proving me wrong. I love the last line. Great job here.
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Awesome
Very fresh way of looking at death. We all certainly hope it to be this way. The words flow so smoothly. The rhythm of the poem is wonderful. Great job of writing here. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing. Jeannie D
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wow! this is amazing! I could never be able to write something so inspiring! This is so capturing! I'll save it to my favorites online (but now that i see it, I can bookmark stuff already so I'm gonna be doing that!) beautiful. this really inspired me to write something with lots of detail and imagery...it's so good! this is one of the best poems I've seen in my life. LOL really, no kidding. I love it.
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ooooh.... purdy!!! This is awesome di!!! You did a great job!!! Good luck in the contest!!!!
Hugs,
Beth -
Awesome poem! Your approach is unique and the imagery very well employed! Your piece also works as a relief, since commom sense says death is something horrible and scary. Plus, I think it could be used to provide comfort for those ones who have lost someone special. Congratulations!
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I /really/ like this poem! I like the title, it fits perfectly with the poem. Great job. It makes me look at death in a better way and makes me feel better about all of my loved ones that have died. Good luck with future poems! This poem really kicks ass!
Darkest -
this is such a beautiful way to look at death... ah this earthly coil sucks..LOL... ...peace MB...shzoosy
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scoobies
makes me want to die....lol good job i guess
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Tempting and soothing lullaby. I can really hear this one. Nice job, MB!
Tootles! WL77 -
awsome write, really enjoyed it
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woah...that is amazing, i LOVE it! it gives you such a visual. good write!
--ariel renea-- -
Very Good
Very good. I like the poem. -
i love this!! ur a wonderful writer!! so enveous! lol <3
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I like this. Death is often regarded as a Dark place,but you have portrayed it as I would hope it to be.
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woooooooooooow
wooooooooooooooooooow really good this is my fave lol
its good how u have tried to show death as somthing u dont have to be scared of -
it's hard to see death as something joyful. I tend not to see endings as beginnings, but perhaps i'm just nihilistic like that. at any rate, i enjoyed the poem, it was a different view of death that usual. good job.
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a great piece
very enticing.death ceases to be such a frightening prospect.the poet succeeds in removing all the dark shadows.quite a masterpiece. -
Hi, thanks a million, hugs Di
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Good poem.The message is wonderful.
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Hi, thanks a million, a big hug Di
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x cellent !
Incredible write di...very tender acceptance of mortality... -
Wow, this is hot. The tone of the poem is really calm, it has a very tranquil mood. It makes death seem so inviting. I wrote a poem similar to this one recently, well with the same basic theme, called The Angel. feel free to check it out. Wonderful poem. Keep penning.
~noir ~
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Smooth magical other earthly feelings in this.Woven wonderment Di.~~~Suseann
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Hi jim, oh ye gods,you English is a bit ropey my friend,lol, well you always give me a good laugh,lol,thanks for dropping by, hugs Di
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Wow. A very calming effect here. Death is usually something that seems ominous and forboding - but you use- words like, whisper, soft, gentle, lullaby, light, to portray a sense of calm.
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excellent
Very nice!!!!!!!!! -
Very very close to a perfect poem, but just a couple rough spots. The one that sticks out like a dayglo thumbtack is:
You'll find that earthly appetites
No longer will your conscience cloy.
I know what you're aiming at, but that is (pardon me, here) just a clumsy way of saying it.
Lemme see........
Your mortal span, a stepping stone,
So come with me, you'll know such joy,
You'll find that earthly appetites
No longer tease until they cloy.
Whaddaya think?
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I love the sort of clash between the words death and lullaby in the title, i think there's a word for that but i can't remember! It is a truly beautiful poem, Mim x
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the last four lines are so beautiful keep doing well with the inspired light
love the papa -
you used very pretty words to get the message across. I like the picture too. Anyways the title was very eye catching. And the idea of cutting the mortal chord...brilliant.
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Hi, thanks a million, hugs Di
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death viewed as something so beautiful is something to be given credit for....a positive outlook for something so dark...
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Di this is beautiful, almost magical and very gentle indeed. Your words painted an amazing picture, very well expressed. I enjoyed the rhyme pattern, the flow is perfect. Thanks for sharing. I hope you're well. Love you millions. La x
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VERY BEAUTIFUL!
This is so cute! a wonderful touching poem my friend.
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Hi the last two lines must be read as a continuing phrase,ok, thanks a million, hugs Di
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Overall, this piece was a very good one. The very last line seemed a bit forced, for it didn't flow well with the rest. I loved the rhymes and the flow of the poem, and the way your message was conveyed. Very simple, very eloquent, but oh so very filled with wonderful meaning. Good job!
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That's lovely. The first line is especially chilling - but softly so. And I like how death has such a quaint, sort of timeless voice... Such a comforting view of death. Nicely done!
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It make me that my loved ones that have moved on went in peace thank you for such a poem it is comforting
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