I have
Words in my mind
But nothing comes of it
When I saw Rules framed for Contest
Oh! God!!
Author notes
dear friends, on a cue from my frind mr.c.shankar of vizag, today i joined this elite club. after seeing the note "contest for new entrant" i pressed the link as per the guidance and saw two types - nature and 22 syllables. as "mother nature" cannot be narrated by any words, i took the second one and posted my entry for the contest. how this man's "maiden" attempt.....
Written May 2nd, 2006
A contest entry
- New members contest - May 2006 by AP Greeters.
300 points, ended June 5, 2006, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
-
thanx for the encouraging view....
-
A
lol well that is unique. I like it a lot. good humor and i believe quick thinking as well. -
dear mr.jr.davies.
it was indeed an honour for me to receive a pat from you. the date on which i enrolled in this gr8 AP at the behest of my hi5 friend, i posted the contest poem. with the help of seniors like you, i pruned it to the present shape. i am getting enthu to learn the art of writing poems, with the accolades i receive from you. hope to post atleast once a month from june onwards. with greetings. -
I really enjoyed this because it has a nice dark humor to it. Not too many can accomplish that so well, and I am glad that you chose to do so in our contest.
~ John
-
thank..... 'r'eal 'asp'iring man has a 'be'tte'r' g'r'eetings... thank 'y'ou....
-
Yes, this really made me smile
Anyway, welcome to Allpoetry. Good attempt, keep writing more, we look forward to read
-
thank you very much.....
-
This is a really cute little poem. I am glad that you chose to try a poetic form and you managed to edit it really well.
-
mr.thistle, i am really honoured by your applause.. the credit of the present shape of "oh!god!!" really goes to you. once i enrolled and saw the contest topic, being a novice without knowing the rudiments of cinquain, i made "nuisance" and i trust with your tips i made "new sense"... regards...
-
Ooo, now it is perfect in syllable count. I love your unique approach to the topic and now you have an example of a cinquain to use for future reference when you attempt on again
Well done.
-
thank you for the welcoming hug, ms.patricia.... your page is so super... u r really true i have sense of humor... so far i have not ventured for writing any poem, story.... fearing plagiarism.. when i enrolled and saw the new entrants contest, a spark in my mind made me to write like that.... of course, it got pruned by suggestions of welcomers.... hope to do well and write some verses looking like poems, soon.... thank you once again.... in your profile, the kid in the arm of old lady is simply superb..... congrats for your recognition in mar.2006.
srinivasan.s. -
LOL A lovely sense of humor you have! I guess that says plenty about how you feel about contests. I love contests myself, but my muse tends to hide from many of them.
Good luck to you and WELCOME to AP! Hugs, Patricia 
-
thank you for your "powerful" comment like the "powerful" service of leanderpeas of india....
-
aah, who doesn't have these words lingering around their head without forming something that could go through as a sentence
three lines that lots of us will be able to relate to if you ask me
I think you've got a nice one here! thank you for taking time to enter this contest, I wish you the best of luck! -
thank you... for the encouragement.....
-
thank you....
-
Hi there. I just stopped back by to see how you were progressing. I see you have made some changes And your syllable count is much closer to cinquain form.
But nothing comes out of it
When I saw the Rules framed for Contest
These 2 lines are still off by 1 syllable each, but if you omit the word --out-- and the word --for-- you will have perfect syllable count for a cinquain. .
Great job working so hard to figure it out and again best of luck in the contest. -
This was a pretty good attempt at writing a cinquain (seeing as I've yet to attempt one myself ). I thought it was bit witty, and a nice surprise.
However, for the 3rd and 4th lines you have 7 and 9 syllables respectively rather than 6 and 8. Maybe you're mixing up syllables with words as Thistle pointed out above.
You've still got plenty of time to edit this. Thanks for entering, and welcome to the site.
Best wishes in the contest,
Stacy
-
This made me laugh! I appreciate your sense of humor. Welcome to the site!~vj
-
thank u krishy..... let me get emulated after reading the poems of friends like you to sharpen my brain to come out lively....
-
I can relate to the first three lines to this. Happens to me a lot. Thank you for entering the contest. Good luck to you and wlecome to AP
~Kristy -
thank you....
-
thank you "sunny day"... with your cue i have corrected the particular line..... thank you very much....
with regards...
Edited on May 05, 6:50 because ''. -
Good thoughts
Rules and regulations can be a little confusing at times. I see that you chose to go with the cinquain here. Thistle mentioned to you about the syllable count not being correct here. I do like the thought you chose, if you just edit the content of the poem to make the syllable count correct this can be considered in the judging. Best wishes in the contest.
Welcome to All Poetry and enjoy this great site.
Joyce
-
I think that you have expressed well in this write. Though not quite what was asked for I think that you done well. Good luck in the contest.
WELCOME to the AP site
Dawn -
-
thank you mr.thistle for the nice guiding opinion. i am extremely feel lucky to see the same. yesterday no sooner i joined the allpoetry.com, i posted the "oh!god!!". so far even for my school and college magazines, i did not venture to give any poems. hope with the knowledge i gain from surfing this site and reading the poems, i can also post some good poems soon. i shall try my level best to post one for mother nature before the deadline....
with loving greetings to you and tank you for the welcome...
yours friendly cheenu1953(srinivasan.s) -
thank you madam, i shall try to churn my brain to come out nicely in my next attempt... thank you once again for the rosy welcome.....
-
Lol, definately a unique approach to the contest. I am thinking that you intended to use the cinquain option? If so then you would need to work on your syllable count. Your first, second and fifth lines have the correct count, but your third and 4th lines need to be reworded to fit the syllable count criteria for a cinquain. It is possible that you confused syllable's with words. For instance, I notice that line 4 has 8 --words-- but it has many more syllables when the words are pronounced.
It seems that maybe you were a bit overwhelmed by the contest write up . Don't let it intimidate you. If you wish to keep the poem and cinquain about the contest and your reaction to it, simply rework your syllable count to the 2,4,6,8,2 specifications. If you wish to go with the Mother Nature theme with the photos options, just remember that the first picture simply denotes nature in her magnificence and the second leans more toward our outrage at the way we humans take her for granted and tear up our playground. Or that was my take on it anyway
Contest rules can be very confusing sometimes, but it seems to me that you have quite the creative mind when it comes to expressing yourself.
Welcome to AllPoetry
-
Although this was catchy and well expressed, I would rather see the poem about the subject within the criteria rather than about the contest itself. Perhaps you can come up with another. Just my thoughts on it.
Welcome to the site!
Adding your comment:
1 - 29 of 29
2 old applause
