Flashing lights
Drinks all around
The musics hot
The guys hotter
Hanging with the gals
Grinding with the guys
It's all good
At the party of your life
Time to kick it up
Just a few more notches
Go wild!
Be crazy!
Dancing, singing
It's all good!
I'm just a party girl!
Show me the party
I'll show you the fun!
Author notes
Written May 1st, 2006
A contest entry
- P-a-r-t-y cause i got to by Disturbed Prodigy.
1000 points, ended May 11, 2006, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
I might disagree with zev and tainted innocence. This poem obviosly wasent ment to be something serious and deep. It was ment to be fun and light hearted. And it acomplishes that quite well. You get your point across. Poetry doesnt always have to be unique and hard to understand. As long as it means something to you.
-
Hello moonbabe,dont be offended by the critisism you get,it is obvious that you enjoy writing poetry,but everyone has to learn, including all the people on AP. However, my advise to you is to read lots of poems written by the older poets, learn new words,new forms, try them out and see what the responses are. I know that you think your poems are good but what good are they if no one wants to read them.Good luck in the contest. Val.
-
The difference between you and Picasso is the way he paints, the way he expresses art is different from everyone else. Do you know of anyone else that paints disfigured faces the way Picasso does? I don't either; that's what sets him apart from other artists. You on the other hand paint the same picture every other 15 year old paints. Why don't you try something different to set you apart from other young poets?
And why are you offended by the comments Zev and I give you? The purpose of posting your poems here on AllPoetry is to get feedback. It's called CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. And the purpose of constructive criticism is to make you a better writer. Now, I'll admit that Zev and I were a bit crude in our comments...but you've got to expect it. Not everyone's gonna be nice. Especially those who've been writing longer than you. There are harsh critics out there. But they're not out to hurt your ego, if that's what you think. -
If you really hate my poetry so much then don't read it! I don't care if you don't like it because I like it and some people seem to like it too.
-
well if picasso let people get to him when he made "scribbles" or what they considered to be bad art then he never would of gotten anywhere
-
Actually, I agree with Zev. This poem is full of cliches...nothing original, nothing deeper than "hot guys". Poetry is an art form. This poem is like scribbles on a canvas.
-
being young is no excuse for bad poetry...but yea, don't listen to me
-
i loved this! it was straight forward and honest! don't listen to Zev cuz this is totally sweet!!
-
lol, i just read that last comment, you did a great job on this, i like what you did here , keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
-
i like the way this is so straitforward and just says what you're thinking. as i scrolled down, i kept waiting for you to go into a segment about how horrible life is, or how much you hate to party, but are bound to it forever...or something of that nature. but you didn't, you just spoke about a personal part of your life, in a matter-of-fact, nuetral way. this is brilliant, and refreshing. great job.
-
duuuumb
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
1 old applause
