Treetops
Butterfly kisses
Late night talks
Exchanging smiles
Four hour phone calls
Telling stories
Sunsets
Holding hands
Writing four page letters
Midnight meets
Blowing kisses
I love you
Humming birds
Fourteen caret ring
Tearful times
Making plans
I want to be with you
In sickness and in heath.
Author notes
Written May 1st, 2006
A contest entry
- The Wedding of Crystal - Heart and Andy Stephenson by Andy Stephenson.
400 points, ended May 15, 2006, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
Fantastic write my friend.
Pikeodawg -
I have to agree with every single comment on here. You are so great at writing.. I look up to you for that. Really, I love your work, and this is a great piece. I love you hunni poo.
-Sara -
sounds like me and one of the ones that got away....(except for the 14 caret ring)lol.... i hope all goes well with you and that special someone... good work.... take care
Andy -
This is a nice love poem. I really appreciate that you chose to enter our contest.
-
Very Good
This is good ... Thank you for the entry
Be well
Crystal -
what a sweet and simple poem.. I really like the way it starts off portraying innocent love progressing into a serious commitment.. its very cute.. and i know after reading some of the lines i could relate to it myself! good job!
-
Bravo
Hey, very good. I wish all relationships would go to that basic plan :0) keep it up -
oOOoOo Pretty poem for my Daddy and Mommy
-
this is very good. I like how you showed all the things lovers of teen age years up to marriage do with each other. And i lke how sweet, gentle and brilliant it is. Very simple but amazing all the same. great job, keep it up!!
-
This is very cute. I wish i knew this side all the time. It makes me nostalgic for young love...not this old stuff that i have.Good luck.
Arielle Giselle -
i love the subtlety and the "show not tell" concept of this poem. You are able to put a picture of exactly what is going on through this entire poem without ever stating it in the reader's mind and I think it really lends a uniqueness to your poem. I feel that these kind of poems really make you think about exactly what it means since the subtlety is really gentle and you have to guess at times what is the situation.
However, there were some times where I was confused, such as the first few lines "treetops/butterfly kisses". I think you could add a couple more lines to clear up some confusion over those lines.
I also thought the last few lines were kind of abrupt. You have a wonderful string of words that flows completely together but the rhythm seems to be broken with the last sentence "I want to be with you in sickness and health". I dunno if it's just me but I thought it didn't really fit with the rest and you could possibly add a couple of lines to bridge the gap between the ending and the actual poem.
But all in all, this was a great poem and thanks so much for the wonderful read! Keep it up! -
short cut and sweet
this is soooooooooooooooooooooo sweet i love it and this is really good i love it keep it up and keep posting -
Amazing
This is so sweet and beautiful kristine,you just explain it all here,the power of love,it will just goes inside of you
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
10 old applause
