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I Take My Time

I have an overwhelming feeling 
When the scars are healing 

That the careless touch
won't hurt as much

If the wounded lay down
that pitiful crown

And call to arms 
the ones who are most harming 

And rebel against their falling
In the distance they go a' calling
wolves of ill regret


We just met and the time we've
spent is alarming


      ( A revelation of myself)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
******In the pains of growing up and getting to know myself******* 

Author notes


Written May 1st, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 69 of 69

  • sweetestkiss1985
    June 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very insightful and deep. I absolutely love it. I know what you mena about scars because I have many of them. So many pains yet so many gains. For I too am finding myself.....


  • a-s-a-p
    May 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I loved reading this piece... I have lots of feelings of respect for you and I assume you have respect for yourself! Great piece, keep up the great work, I look forward to reading through more of your poems!! Great write!


  • The Honorable DGP
    May 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really like how you wrote this. It is really well done. I believe that you can really pull this from the depths of your soul. Keep writing!


  • storiesuntold gold member
    May 17, 2007

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    Well done here

    To look inside oneself at most can be alarming for the path we have paved will be traveled upon once again the day we are called home . Make it a path of peace and love for with peace and love you will never be alone


  • anoetic poet
    April 10, 2007

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    Very profound write, can be interpreted in many ways... Lovely flow and rhyme. Thank you for entering and good luck!


  • CherylAnn
    April 6, 2007

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    a good revelation...Love this write as I have read it three times in three different ways and it makes one look within themselvesI think this is a powerful revelation of everyone's inner selfThe rhyme and rhythm are great making the flow excellent
    Blessings
    ~Cheryl~


  • fallenangel671
    April 1, 2007
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    loved it, keep writing.


  • May 17, 2006
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    great job! the rhyming is unforced. very nice!


  • May 10, 2006
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    loved it

    good work poet. i picture alice falling down the rabbit hole after a bad one night stand. auntie m


  • Lazarus Merlinus
    May 10, 2006
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    The verdict seems unanimous, but I gotta chime in. I like this a good bit, it is, as they say, short and sweet, and there is certainly something to be said for the healing ( or at least pain killing ) effects of taking a stand, a cause, action.

  • Lena
    May 5, 2006
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    There's strong feeling in this, I like it. The meaning is very thought provoking. Great job.

  • DaNi-3LL3
    May 5, 2006
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    gr8 job, keep up THE good work


  • tempestaira
    May 5, 2006
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    I like this... You seem to be strong minded and willing to rebel against being pitiful... I enjoy the way you rhymed this too... Tempest Aira.

  • satanssexyspawn
    May 5, 2006
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    Your poem has so much meaning and feelings behind it i love it keep writing
    <3satanssexyspawn


  • Shirley Shaw
    May 4, 2006
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    Excellente'

    Hello,Angel w o Wings;I really admire' your-poem, 'Take My Time".I think it's an excellent-idea,as well,as a writing....Cool,picture too;"Love The Wolves;Love Your-Poem....Love,your-friend,Shirley ann shaw-Raytown,mo.64133................


  • Whispering Winds
    May 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this is really good.
    I love the words you chose.
    I will be reading more of you
    Thanks for sharing
    Tammy


  • May 3, 2006
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    Very Good!!!!

    Very nice job, showing who we are means alot in this world.


  • ennovy silver member
    May 2, 2006
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    brilliant

    YOU HAVE PUT YOUR FEELINGS, IN SUCH AN VIVID PICTURE. THE CONCEPT IS JUST PLAIN AND OPEN TO ALL, WHO READ. I LIKE THE CHOICE OF WORDS USED. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US A CHANCE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, SO HERE'S A BIG FOR SHARING! EXCELLENT WRITING, MY TALENTED POET. WRITE ON!.....ENNOVY


  • xxemokevinxx
    May 2, 2006
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    I thought that this poem was really good, I'm glad I clicked on it. It was really nice, and the rhyming was pretty much great. Good job with this!
    -Kevin


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    May 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I really liked your poem.
    Short but it said alot.
    Very emotional and
    thought provoking.
    Good job writing this.
    Thank you for sharing.
    Jeannie D

  • The Bank
    May 2, 2006
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    very nice

    very nice poem. If it was supposed to ryeme you lost it at the end.


  • Tinkerbell2007
    May 2, 2006
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    You did a really good job with this poem, you did a great job showing your feelings, keep up the good work!


  • NikKiPumPkIn
    May 2, 2006
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    i love this...very nice the way you expresed how you where feeling...kudos


  • Tarja
    May 2, 2006
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    Very nice. The background is a little wierd, but oh well. The write was great. Keep it up.
    amanda


  • LegalEagle
    May 1, 2006
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    free flowing

    this is a nice and free flowing piece here. I did like it.

  • funnybunny101
    May 1, 2006
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    exellent

    wow i loved it it was great

  • The 9mm Massacre
    May 1, 2006
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    awsome

    wow thats very good. short but i like short poems i hate 400 line long poems but overall i get it a good rating

    btw i saw your hat and misfits rule!


  • Symphony
    May 1, 2006
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    Nice job on this one; although I wasn't particularly fond of the continuous interruptions in the flow of it, i do like the idea behind it and the fact that you were somewhat coming to grips with yourself ... Nice job

  • animepoetess
    May 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I am not a real fan of rhyming poems, especially short, rhyming poems, but when the pains of self realization are placed to paper I can make an exception. The path to finding ones self is never a short or easy path, but the satisfaction you find in the end is always worth the hardship endured. Great write!

    --Animepoetess
    Edited on May 01, 12:22 because ''.


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    May 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    very well done, great flow. i very much enjoyed this poem. a really beautiful write.


  • bludstaindsoliloquy
    May 1, 2006
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    This was a strong piece that inspires people to think . . . to have revelations of their own. The only suggestion that I can think to make is for you to change the font color . . . it's way too dark and veri hard to read. Keep penning . . . keep sharing . . . and much luck to you in any/all future poetic ventures!

    Maggie


  • BlueEyeWonder1988
    May 1, 2006
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    it is very expressed. I like it.


  • Inside and out
    May 1, 2006
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    This poem is beautiful. It flows well and the rhyme was so well executed that it didn't seem forced at all. Very interesting poem that is unique and creative. Nicely done.

  • brio
    May 1, 2006
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    "distanse" should be "distance". i assume the crown is a christ-reference? perhaps an allegory to his death (your scars) and unappreciative humanity (your ability to accept yourself)? i like "wolves of ill regret"-- but, it would help the construction and meter to use a preposition, ie- "upon the wolves..."

    just had a thought, the tatoo's look like scars... (i know they're tribal designs)


  • mitimse
    May 1, 2006
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    Well done; short and to the point. The makings of an excellent poet


  • May 1, 2006
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    nice simple rhyme and meter. simplicity is sincerity adn ppl i think get more out of than i think they do longer drawn out writes. sometimes, theres nothing mnore needs to be said. and that is the show of a hearts honesty and one being honest with their hearts.

    very nice.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    May 1, 2006
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    Great job on this! Always nice to read a good poem based on the writer himself. Thanks for sharing this!

    Allen0826


  • Angel w o Wings
    May 1, 2006
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    Thank you, I will look it over.


  • TLRufener
    May 1, 2006
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    It is always nice to read poems about the self. I like the rhyme, even though you got a bit off towards the end. I just feel there is something missing from the piece.


  • Blue Eyed Skies
    May 1, 2006
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    You have some lovely thoughts and images in here! I wonder if your words would be even more powerful if you tried re-working it without the constriction of rhyme? I think you could explore these ideas with even more depth if you tried a free verse format, but that could be just personal preference, too, so just a suggestion. Great job, though, you are talented.


  • leakypen
    May 1, 2006
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    I loved how the rhyming pattern was fixed but it didn't feel forced, and i just think it's a really nice poem!


  • FaerieoftheNight
    May 1, 2006
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    Excellent

    I liked it very much. Excellent work. Keep up the good writing


  • Ninth-Poet
    May 1, 2006
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    Very good

    This is a piece that has a feel of realism and the words felt as if they were mine!! Nicely done!

    What was the driving inspiration behind your masterful piece of poetry!
    -Keep the ink flowing!
    -Dave

  • comet of 1989
    May 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Brill

    This is really honest, which makes it even better! thr rhyming is great and doesn't seem at all forced. well done a brilliant piece.
    X Tragedy X


  • May 1, 2006
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    EXCELLENT!

    I think your poem is very realistic, and in a lot of ways I can relate to it.
    GOOD JOB!!!!


  • i miss you...
    May 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Powerful

    I like this poem, It's powerful


  • Congruence
    May 1, 2006
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    Very Good

    I liked the flow of this piece, quite well put together and the length also seems well judged.

    James


  • Wolf Mistress silver member
    May 1, 2006
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    Beautifull how you write with less words so much..
    I really enjoyed reading this...
    Untill next poem..
    xxJeannette


  • SpiritMother
    May 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I liked the flow of the words and the meanings that were implied. Great write.


  • kate kayuda
    May 1, 2006
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    I really enjoyed the end of the poem! Its as if you have spent so much time together and you`ve never spent this much time with anyone else, I like this sort of discription!
    Edited on May 01, 9:22 because ''.


  • LivingxXxProof
    May 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Nice.


  • May 1, 2006
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    Im not sure about the meaning but it was well put togeather and it was easy to read. great stuff


  • twilight seduction
    May 1, 2006
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    wolves of ill regret

    this line screams "inspiration!" regret, when it occurs, does feel like its attacking you, like a wolf, so very good metaphor.


  • cyberashley
    May 1, 2006
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    VERY WIRED


  • cyberashley
    May 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm wired.


  • Lost-Pearls
    May 1, 2006
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    hmmm.pretty inteesting piece you've written here. Nicely done


  • Ink Shadow
    May 1, 2006
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    We just met and the time we've
    spent is alarming<< the ending is kind of a shock theraphy and holds the key to this. As mentioned by LadyUnique and Scorpanther, it appears to describe about a new relationship and healing the wounds of an older one.

    A good job!

    D

  • scorpanther
    May 1, 2006
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    I think LadyUnique and I are in accord as to the meaning of your poem. I too think it sounds as though you have had your heart broken and now you are giving it another shot and finding that you are really falling for this person and you are alarmed by how much you feel for them so fast. I think this poem is very good.

  • Darlene Mitchell
    May 1, 2006
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    liked it

    I agree very well said and I liked it very much

  • livestrong7
    May 1, 2006
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    This was a very good piece of work. I like the rhythm of it and the rhyme. It has very good description and conveying of words. Keep up the good work.


  • LegalEagle
    May 1, 2006
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    good write here

    this is a nice piece. good word usage and nice flow and tone.

  • crystalpain
    May 1, 2006
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    wounderful

    i love it
    it is a wonderful peom plus i love woves


  • LadyUnique silver member
    May 1, 2006
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    i like this the meaning is lost on me right now but it makes me think of meeting someone special while trying to get over the last relationship...it's a kind of scary feeling yet a good one too. very nicely done

  • psychotic iguana
    May 1, 2006
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    I'll take a bit from those first two comments. While the meaning of the piece was ambiguous, it was "nicely penned", I agree.


  • N0sferatu
    May 1, 2006
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    yes indeed a very good write and a great rhyming. A very good job my friend. "takke your time" byt Keep on penning .
    -Elie-

  • FindingFate
    May 1, 2006
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    I guess I am lost to the revelation. The flow is nice though and Ty for sharing.


  • dustookie2
    May 1, 2006
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    good one

    nice poem good rhyme nice flow and feel..great descriptive emotion and some good lines...i like the thoughts your words give me to ponder on...nicely penned...

1 - 69 of 69