I stood on the cliffs,
And looked out on the Ocean,
I stood on the cliffs,
All shrouded in myth,
And gazed on the green-vast motion.
There swirled all-around
The steep Mizzened walls
The mighty robes of those
Who had come to give me call.
First the West Wind came to me
As an old, whithered man;
Like a time-stubble tree,
Like a mountain-weary ram,
Garbed in great grey and blue
with his beard to his feet
And his eyes like a tycoon,
He stooped upon his cane,
Which had done many-a feat,
And looked with a face of pain.
"Oh young one!" His voice cried.
"Young one! The West Wind weeps!
Aye, weeps for thee to die!
For what good do thou here-
When thy brother falls to deeps
And thou only stare in fear?"
Then the South Wind came to me
As a willow-haired maiden;
Like a water-dropped seed,
Like a banquet hall ladened
Green and white she wore
With hair the color of earth.
Her feet tread upon the moor
And she smiled in the rain.
In her hand was untold worth
Which, for me, was ordained.
"My love, take you this
And thy destiny unfold.
T'will not be happy or untrodden bliss,
For thou must pay a higher price
From what common man is told."
Followed then the East Wind to me
As a wild-eyed boy;
Costumed in orange and red
With eyes the colors of stars,
Ivy grew and clung 'round his head.
And 'round the cheeks like pomegranate-
Pressed on hands of scars,
His eyes laughed and merrily sped
Away to play and dance.
"Oh Tall One!
How funny art thee!
And despair not in the light of hope
For better is coming with glee
So no time to sit and mope!"
Last, came the North Wind to me
As a wisdom-laden woman;
Like a frozen white lily,
Like endless, streaking sand.
In purple and black was she girded,
With hair the color of the moon.
She held a scroll all a-worded
Which tred on impending doom.
"Go forth, oh human, go forth!
Many are those who need thy help.
I am here from my North
To send you on this quest:
Go save the pitiful little whelp
And set thee to thy test."
Then gone they were
As I stood on the cliffs,
The cliffs overlooking the ocean.
Below me the waves cried ang groaned
As the winds whipped them up
And I stood there without a moan
For I was outrun o' muck.
So now endure
And no longer idly drift
Where ever to go in this Motion.
Author notes
Umm....nothing really to say about this.... just a poem i had lurking around in my head for a while.
Written April 30th, 2006
A contest entry
- options contest #2 by gothchyld.
600 points, ended March 12, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by HerbalGoat.
456 points, ended May 24, 2007, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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this is wonderful. unique and kind of magical. But if you read the contest rules, you'll see that I do not accept entries that have been in other contests or are entered now. I'm really sorry..this was great.
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What a unique poem, I especially admire the incorporation of archaic language and skillful rhyme scheme in the piece. It reminds me of fantasy and in a way, preparation lessons that we had in life's labyrinth. It is as if we are setting foot in the unpredictable, enigmatic quest in life. Well done, and good luck in the contest.
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Shows Gifted Writing Talent
You are a gifted and talented writer. This is like an ocean of thoughts surfing about in your head tossed by the winds of creation. Dripping onto the page like a lovely rain dance. -
nicley done this is a well written poem full of imagery you've weaved your words to show the true winds of the times this is very good poetry....
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great work! can't wait to read more^-^
whoa....reincarnation of robinson jeffers...damn
this is every bit as awe-inspiring and 'window-to-the-soul' as his were..you might be interested in his 1925
"Granite and Cypress"
_White-maned, wide-throated, the heavy-shouldered children of the wild leap at the sea-cliff
_The invisible falcon
_Brooded on water and bred them in wide waste places, in a bride-chamber wide to the stars' eyes
_In the center of the ocean,
_Where no prows pass nor island is lifted...the sea beyond Lobos is whitened with the falcon's
_Passage, he is here now,
_The sky is one cloud, his wing-feathers hiss in the white grass, my sapling cypreses writhing
_In the fury of his passage
_Dare not dream of their centuries of future endurance of tempest. (I have granite and cypress)
_Both long-lasting,
_Planted in the earth; but granite sea-boulders are prey to no hawk's wing, they have taken worse pounding,
_Like me they remember
_Old wars and are quiet; for we think that the future is one piece with the past, we wonder why tree tops
_And people are so shaken
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the imagery is beautiful, in my culture we have the four winds, they are known as Nga Hau e wha....nar hoe e far...i could see them as i read....thankyou for sharing....wonderful write....
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Incredible. You took me on a journey devloping my truer understanding of the word feeling. The description was amazing and I could just imagine being sat on one of the cliff's my hair being rustled by the cold night air. How majestic and incredible. Despite the poem being soo, heartfelt, there seems to be something missing. Not all words have too rhyme - infact the best poems don't, in my opinion you are alot like me you feel as though your words have too rhyme.
And May I ask - Was this piece originally purposed for music?
Just a thought. Pay heed too.
A brilliant read - and a very well done!!!!
William Wolf X -
This is a great read. Excellent imagery and very dramatic. I could almost see this staged. Well done!
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i never liked the wind so much because of the fact you never know what the wind will blow in great write keep doing well
love the papa -
Wonderful
that was great. i really enjoyed that. i don't know if you have ever read or heard of the Dark Is Rising series by Susan Cooper, but after reading that, I think you would love to read it. I felt like I was reading one of her books when I read your poem. Wonderful write and keep it up. If you have more like this, I would love to read them. Just magical. -
I find imagination and risk in this poem but it seems fall short of what it wants to be. I believe that you are self conscious at times about having to make your words rhyme. It would be much better to allow them to do what the want to do. I like the images but I was confused by some of the description. I have two pomegranite bushes in my back yard. They do not cling like ivy. They are not round like cheeks, although they have a blush. They can be sweet and they can be bitter and they also have thorns (lots of methaphors here.) The North Wind is described as being like a frozen white lilly yet she is molded like clay. Though she is white, and has hair the color of the moon, she is girded in purple and black. You offer a multiple choice here: She streaks and paces and treads, or all of these. Yet, there is so much richness in this poem-color, myth, challenge and danger. I sense that there is even music here. Go forth my friend. You have much to say.
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REminds me of calling on the north. It is done in an old language style that makes me think of the sea. Very nice read. -
Very creative piece, loved the imagry, it got a tiny bit choppy but overall the feel and flow where very good. I like the way the wind was described coming from different directions! Great work. Keep your pen forever flowing!
Bunny
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It was very creative and you did well with imagery. I like it. Ty for sharing...Trina.
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This is an awesome poem. I like the way you described every direction of the wind. It was so beautiful. Keep up the awesome poetry!!!
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i like the idea behind this. pretty interesting with the different characters coming up.
overall, the flow and rhym is pretty god -
interesting. different. became a bit long after the second wind. ( ha ha ha )
anyways. all in all, good job with writing this. a good read.
blu -
Your author's comment cracked me up. So it was lurking in your head for a while. There sure was a lot of lurking going on. Nice poem.
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well thank you. But looking back over it, I find it rather choppy and unknitted, but perhaps that's just me. Though I'm very appriciative of your words.
Yours etcetera... -
hm, i like it, it's very mystical sounding. i have a drum cd with a song on it called four direction wind, and it kind reminded me of that...not just because of the title, but it sorta fit with the song. but i do like it.
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