Many times I'd made this trip
My emotions would hold me back
I would stand at the feet of Lincoln
And stare at that wall of black
The list of names were long I knew
They were engraved in stone
I dearly wanted to go down by them
To read the names I'd known
I'd served with them, laughed with them
And we even cried together
I could not walk away from them
I was tied by a sacred tether
I'd come and gone so many times
To pay my last respects
But never made it all the way
My emotions were too complex
Until this day I realized
I was not saying good bye
I was stopping off to say hello
To the friends I'd have near by
It was such a healing process
When I walked up to that name
And read aloud the words inscribed
For the heroes Nam had claimed
I walked away a better man
For having finally faced my fears
I now could go on living
After shedding many tears
The Wall is said to heal all wounds
It surely helped with mine
For now I finally understand
To these names we owe this shrine
For I was one who made it home
And still have a life to live
And has become my path in life
To all these heroes give
The honor that they deserve
forever and a year
For it is their lives they gave
So that we may still be here
So every time you hear a child
Or smell the flowers scent
Thank the Lord for heroes
For they gave without lament
Remember the names upon the Wall
And the sacrifice they gave
Just to promote our way of life
And our liberty to save
Author notes
Written April 16th, 2006
In a list
- Military • next in list
- Personal • next in list
- Silver Winners • next in list
- Bronze Winners • next in list
- Honorable Mentions • next in list
A contest entry
- Give me your best :) by BabyxBadger.
450 points, ended December 27, 2006, 30 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyming Pre-writes by Lj-.
345 points, ended December 30, 2006, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Your Best Prewrite by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended February 25, 2007, 105 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Personal Best (Prewrites Allowed) by aGent Lemon.
360 points, ended March 18, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What you think is your best 1hr contest by whispernthedark.
314 points, ended April 7, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your Silver into Gold! by Celticpoet.
300 points, ended June 9, 2007, 42 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by Nam.
900 points, ended August 25, 2007, 97 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Favorite Poems by Avatar of Innocence.
400 points, ended December 27, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My favorite poem!!! by Lola Green.
530 points, ended November 23, 2007, 51 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Prewrite 2 by Heavenly Angel.
450 points, ended December 10, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn that silver into gold Pt. 4 by whispernthedark.
400 points, ended February 29, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Everything! by Uncle Haku.
1400 points, ended March 10, 2008, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LOOKING FOR NEW FAVORITES!!! by Auburn Sunrise.
600 points, ended March 25, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 75 of 75
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Wow!
I am astonished (in a good way).
First of all, let me thank you for your service to our country - for protecting us and ensuring our futures. You are far braver and stronger than I could ever be. I have every respect for you, just for that simple fact.
Add to that your incredible poetic talent... I am amazed by your ability to rhyme flawlessly! I actually don't like rhyme - but you made it work so well that I couldn't help but love it!
Such a wonderful patriotic tribute, full of hope, but also of rememberance... I don't even know what to say except YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!
Thank you so much for entering my contest.
You are definitely being added to favorites!
Good luck! -
i am not surprised that this has one so many trophies...it is a brilliant piece and fills you with pride and sorrow....even though i am not american it reminds me of a black wall that we have here in england a wall of remembrance...those that have given their lives for a cause not of their making....they are remembered
bravo on a excellent write
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kelborno
Thank you so much for the wonderful comments that you have left me. I am very glad that you enjoyed my poetry.
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I am truly moved.
Thank you.
Love, Lane
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Dalaney
Thank you so much for your comments. They are truly appreciated.
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11/10
This is amazing! So moving, just amazing.
It wont let me give three cheers D< but you get at least 5. -
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mmistermeh
Thank you for your comments. It makes me feel good that I was able to move you with my words.
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when I first saw the wall I was a teenager. it awed me... to hear of soldiers dying was impersonal... to actually see and touch those engraved names, well it was humbling. you've caught that and so much more with your words. a very heart-felt, honorable write
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LadyUnique
Going down to read the names on that wall was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do.
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Beautiful. Thank you. No greater love hath a man than that he lay down his life for his friends. Those who have given that final measure of devotion do rest well in the knowledge that their sacrifice was not in vain. They died that others should live.
Live well for them. It is what they wanted. They will never be forgotten.
CaliOkie
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CaliOkie
Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. I am glad that you enjoyed my poem.
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Beautiful
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CaliOkie
Thank you.
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Lots of contests
Goodluck in them all.
♥
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DwellinginDarkness
Thank you som much for your comments. They are greatly appreciated.
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Remember the names upon the Wall
And the sacrifice they gave
Just to promote our way of life
And our liberty to save
A wonderful poem in honor of those who served, and gave their all. Written by one who knows, and beautifully written Polly.
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Susie
Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. This was actually the very first poem that I had ever written.
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This is a wonderful poem that makes one feel humbled by the pure honesty of emotion and the great tribute that you have paid to your friends. A brave and honourable venture.
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frownsnfreckles
Thank you so much for the wonderful comments. They are greatly appreciated.
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This so touched my heart
May we never forget those who gave their lives so that we may have the freedoms we do
Thank you for sharing and for being a part of this contest! -
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Heavenly Angel
Thank you for commenting on my poem and for hosting this contest.
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This is inspireing. Its people like our veterans and those currently serving in Iraq and Afganastan that made me want to join the military. That's why I joined the Delayed entry program =]
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ChristinaXCuriosity
Thank you so much for your kind and wonderful words. I very very happy that you like my poem. I also want to thank you in advance for your service to our country.
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OVERWHELMINGLY EXTRAORDINARY
Sir, your poem brought me to tears. I am honest when I say I was near bawling. Now, I do not really get emotional reading poems, or any other time mostly. You have my utmost respect and gratitude. I am sorry my mediocre words cannot fully express what I feel towards men like you, VietNam veterans, and our soldiers serving America now. I agree that the brave souls returning from VietNam were persecuted and became the "whipping boys" for a corrupt, misguided regime. My uncles were also in VietNam, and I am just too caught up in the straightforward tale you have shared in this poem to be unbiased. Please, I will give you as many points as I can for honorable mentions, but this poem is far too dear to me for me to judge fairly. Leave it here for all to see, but please submit another poem that I can critique honestly without fear of being disrespectful or biased.
Thank you for OUR Freedom.
Jourdene Rosella Cruz Aguon
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"For the heroes Nam had claimed" - I feel the apostrophe should go in front of "Nam".
"To all these heroes give" - this seems like a forced-rhyme. It sort of goes with the line above it, but, it doesn't exactly match up in tense; nether with the line after it; which makes it seem forced. Especially since I feel the word "give" should be "gave", since you're speaking about the names on the "black" wall, no? It would be "gave" and does make much more sense than "give". Thus the "forced-rhyme".
You use a comma in the first line of the 3rd verse, yet, no other punctuation (except apostrophes) before or following. I feel it should be an either/or - either use punctuation throughout, or do not use it at all.
Another thing, I felt this piece ended in the 9th verse. The rest after it just seemed too repetitious, in the sense you were just repeating what you stated from the first verse to the 9th, after it just seemed too much.
I did feel there were good lines used, I would suggest intergrating them into to the above 9 and perhaps finishing the piece with 10 verses instead of
the 12 you have.
Overall, it's a good "emotional" piece but it could use work in condensing and not being too repetitious.
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Nam
Thank you. I will see what I can do to revise. This was actually the very first poem that I ever wrote. Maybe I was just too close to the subject.
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An Incredible Epitaph for the heroes of a forgotten war!
thank you for entering my contest!...Dan -
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Celticpoet
Thank you so much for the honorable mention. I am honored to receive it as there were so many excellent poems that were submitted. -
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Thank you Sir!
Thank you for the honour you did my contest by submitting such a beautiful write!...I was stunned by the sheer volume and quality of all the entries...and yours was no exception!...again..my thanks!...Dan!
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thank you very much for entering. whisper
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whispernthedark
Thank you for hosting this contest.
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Thank you very much for entering this contest. I may add much more of a comment later on since there are so many other submissions.
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Thanks aGent Lemon
Thank you for your comments on my poem and thank you for hosting this contest.
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You expressed so well those emotions when at the Wall Memorial in D.C., Polly. I'm not a veteran myself, but as a teenager during the Vietnam years, I know the experiences you have related of near-terror when coming to that Wall and then the subsequent peace and tranquility they find there in it calmness speaks well in this poem.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
Jo
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Thank you Jo
Thank you so much for your kind words Jo. This is actually the first poem that I ever wrote. It only took me about a year to get it finished. -
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I know what you mean, Polly. There was a writer here, The Walking Dead/Jack--(I think he since deleted his AP account) who wrote some of the most eloquent poetry of his Vietnam experiences as a Marine. Of all the poems he wrote, I think the most touching of all was one of the first time he visited the Travelling Wall coming through his town in Michigan.
It's experiences like that that make for the stuff of first-poems and always-remembered poems by writer and reader alike...
Jo
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Aw... This one is sad too! This may be a true story, but It kept the reader encouraging the poet the entire time. If that makes sense. This poem was awsome, no words could justify its contents... The lines that REALLY hit me hard though were...
I'd served with them, laughed with them
And we even cried together
I could not walk away from them
I was tied by a sacred tether
Really sad how personal it got at that point but it was an awsome poem coming from an awsome poet.. Im glad your still hear to share your heart through your poetry, Its amazing!
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Thank you skyviewexpress
I really appreciate your comments. This was one of the first poems that I ever wrote.
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This is really good. I don't know if you were really in any wars, but it sure sounds like you were.
I really liked:
"Until this day I realized
I was not saying good bye
I was stopping off to say hello
To the friends I'd have near by."
Thank you for you entry.
Good Luck! -
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Thanks XdevilessX
Thank you so much for your comments. To answer your question. I was in Vietnam and lost some very good friends there. That is why this poem means so much to me.
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Well done, what a lovley poem. sadness, but history and emotions running wild throughout this and the rhyming was lovley and natural. Such a lovley poem. Well done, I throughly enjoyed reading this. Thankyou for sharing your poem and entering my contest, I will be judging soon, so don't worry. But many thanks and good luck
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Thank you BabyxBadger
Thank you so much for your comments. This poem means a lot to me. I have too many friend's names on that wall and I am so thankful that my name isn't on it. Thank you for hosting this contest.
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Thank you for your comments DK akaLunatic Serene. Thank you so much for the compliment.
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beautiful, throat lump producing....thank you!
DK -
Thank you so much for your comments agatha7. you might want to take a look at another one of my poems about internal wounds of war.
allpoetry.com/Poem/2115131 -
BEAUTIFUL!
THIS IS GREAT! MY DAD SERVED IN A FEW WARS & THOUGH HE SURVIVED, I SAW THE WOUNDS HE CARRIED, UNTIL HE DIED. THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS, OUR MILITARY PEOPLE DESERVE MORE THAN WE HAVE GIVEN THEM & GIVE THEM. THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR TALENTS
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Thank you so much for your comments AmericanGirl2008. I am glad the you enjoyed my poem.
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Oh my gosh. That was, wow! The Wall, is a really amazing tribute and memorial, and it brings so many to it. Some just rub some place flowers and sit. But in any case, I loved this poem, it brought memories of walking up and down that sidewalk, just reading the names that were on it, not knowing any of them, but just looking. Thank you for writing such a wonderful piece. I abslutely loved it. Good luck in the contest. Keep on writing too. God Bless!
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Thank you so much for your comments DarkenedAuras. You comments on this poem are greatly appreciated. This is a very special poem for me as I am a Vietnam Veteran.
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Wow this is great...I saw the wall once on a field trip, they had moved it to the park (unless it was a duplicate or something) there so many names so many people who had lost someone dear...this poem is excellent and deserves respect I must applaud this
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Thank you so much for your comments and your kind words paullallady. It is so nice to receive them from a member of the Navy family. I salute both you and your husband. Thank you.
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very good
this is a wonderful poem. I agree with you when
you say that you are not saying goodbye but are
just stopping to say hello. My husband served in
the Navy also, but not in Nam, though he still
carries that draft card in his wallet all these
years later. But there is a special family this
country has and this family tree has many branches,
each one is one of the armed forces. My husband is
on the Navy branch, and we both feel a very close
kindred to every other member of that family tree.
may God bless you and yours, and keep writing. -
Thank you so much for your comments Crowheart. They are greatly appreciated.
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this is a good stromg poem. its cadence has the feeling of bootlaces, cinched up tight and double tied. a complete package.
write on! -
Thank you so much for your comments James R. They are truely appreciated.
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Very nice wrie my friend an abosolute delight to have in my contest good luck.
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Thank you so much for your comments SuchABettie. They are greatly appreciated.
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I enjoyed this poem very much. It was very inspiring, keep up the good work! A very fitting poem now that we are so close to the 4th of July.
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Thank you so much for your comments Frodofan. Your comments are greatly appreciated.
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Just in time for July 4th. This is a great poem about those lives lived and sacrificed for our country.
I felt that it was a little choppy as far as meter went. It seems to be more of a rhyming free verse, but it is close to having some iambic meter in it.
My favorite part was the third to last stanza. -
excellent
The Wall is all many of us have left. So many that did not come home and we don't know where they are or if they are alive. This is a moving tribute to that wonderful place where the names go on forever. You wrote this very well, and for a first poem, I am impressed. Great job. hugs WolfHeart -
Thank you so much for your comments azure85. Your comments are truely appeciated.
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Very fitting tribute to remember them, with the 4th of July just a few days away. The wall is impressive, and when you see the line of names for the first time, you are hushed and silenced by how many gave their lives. May we never forget them, and what they gave for us.
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Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and commenting on it Wolfheart. Your coments are appreciated.
Edited on Jun 02, 6:02 because 'typo'. -
Excellent
Bravo! Just beautiful in sentiment and very well-written. My darling did not come home and his name is on that wall, all I have left. We were going to be married, but I wanted to wait until he came home. How very long that wait has been. hugs WolfHeart -
Thank you very much for your comments DawnBaby. Yes it is hard, but one of the best things that I ever did was force myself to go to the wall and run my fingers over their names etched into the wall.
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Excellent
Wow, what a wonderful tribute on this Memorial Day to our fallen veterans. I lost so many friends in Viet Nam, I can only imagine how hard it was for someone who served too. Some of my friends never came back the same. Excellent piece of writing, I loved it!
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Thank you for the comments -typewriter. Them are truley appeciated.
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magnificent!!!!thank you so much for entering my contest!!!!!!!!
love
writer
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Thank you so much for the kind words
Edited on May 18, 6:18 p.m. because 'typo'. -
Thank you so much for the encouragement.
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wow.the flow is over powering, just kidding, its really nice. great poem. i also love the rhyme its great. nice job on this poem. and great job, keep writing.
kankainku -
I like!!
goose bumps! goose bumps! What a wonderful read Pollycheck. Lovely rhyme and flow conveying a very important sentiment to all who peruse. Happy travels with new friends. Recluse
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Beautiful!
Hw nicely you have pen down the thoughts that swirl in the mind when you cross such Great Walls!
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