^ My little
Budz an angel.
Never more to see
living in the
heavens as
he left his
family.
My heart
still aches & fears
the past 12 years. Often it
will ponder did all my love I offer?
I miss you very much your joy
and special touch. Your first word
football. My name when you would
call. Your older brother has twins
now, the woman
left without a vow. With
a child upon each knee,
his heart shall not be free.
You would have had another,
called him your little brother.
He always
looked like you, especially until
he was two. His hair is red like
ours.
Author notes
Give me an inch - I'll give you a figural!
We went through the loss of one son while expecting the next.
He was three years old - and we nicknamed him Budz.
This is for option #1
Losing a loved one
"Slipknot"
Written April 29th, 2006
A contest entry
- It Changed My Life! by shewillbeloved.
300 points, ended October 4, 2006, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Many Options/My First Contest by EpicFailure.
600 points, ended May 24, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - poems of loss by Honeydew.
430 points, ended June 19, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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Tang,
Wow! This one has got to go in the book! Well done and congrats on the Gold! Love and hugs...
~Donna~
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Yes this is a tear jerker
I miss the little man my self. Babies really tear at ones heart. I am so thankful for the pictures i have of him and the other two. Love is one thing you can do when you look at a picture and say "Hi my little angel."...mac
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Yes this is a tear jerker
I miss the little man my self. Babies really tear at ones heart. I am so thankful for the pictures i have of him and the other two. Love is one thing you can do when you look at a picture and say "Hi my little angel."...mac
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wow..
i also like the way you put your poetry words in a picture form..i know this can be very hard to do..great job here..looks like an angel beant down kneeling..truely great work in this ..thanks for sharing.
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very nice entry, something like this could bring a tear to someone's eye, very nice, i also love the way you set it up to make the image as well, good luck and thank you for entering my contest
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excellent poem i loved the way you set it up and i thought it was very sad i loved
Never more to see
living in the
heavens as
he left his
family.
My heart
still aches & fears
the past 12 years. Often it
will ponder did all my love I offer?
this was my favorite part of the poem and i just loved it, good luck in the contest,
keep writing
~AShley~<3 -
Well Penned
Thank you so much for sharing such a wonderful and yet so sad piece. I love the style in which you wrote it makes a beautiful tribute to something so heartbreaking,,,,,,Michael -
i love this poem and i love how u set it out, its like a piece of art. great poem. good luck in the contest and keep writing
Thankyou For Entering -
I admit I think the picture is very creative but I can't really read it because of the gaps I'm not sure what goes where...><
-
Dear penman,
This one still rips at my side with pain! But am so glad to have an avenue to share the wonder of my son.
Thanks so much,
Tang -
Excellent
Some people paint with oil, other with words. But you dear Tang, create masterpieces in a perfect style and form for any mind. Great as always! -
Dear heather 802,
I did read where you wanted a rhyming poem and I have now included the verses in standard form where you can see more easily that - yes it does rhyme!
Sorry for the confusion - they are not as easily to read.
Tang -
I'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss, I lost my son, and I know how horrible and painful it is, the heartache has never completely faded for me. It must have taken some time to get the words into this shape, but it's effective and unusual and makes the poem stand off the page. The only criticism I have is that I asked for rhyming poetry and this is a free verse piece. Thanks for entering, and best of luck. Take care, Heather x
-
Dearest Sis,
Thanks again for your kind words on this figural poem in dedication to my son. -
Dear Brother Tang' - now I have true tears.
So glad I could help fix Little Budz back even more now.
I will still be here any time to help with 'aches'
and 'fears' through however many 'years'.
Linda
-
I know, my friend. Your love for him is still very vivid and strong. It shows every time.
-
Thanks I appreciate it. I usually put it on the back burner with everything else I deal with now. The poetry is helping to work through the pain. And to give a tribute to my son is like still giving him a gift.
Tang -
Damn, Tang. My heart goes out to you buddy. Know that I am here if ever you need to talk ok? Understand that.
-
very touching, Tang. All the best... ea
-
Dear Recluse Writer,
Thank you so much for your help to have fears rhyme with years.
Yours truly,
Tang -
Do you or your friend wave a magic stick to make aches rhyme with years w/o being a pain in the angel's back?
I would like to get the rhyme. If you or your friend have the patience and time. -
So sorry tang, think I got caught up in the angel and missed the depth of of what was in it's head not in yours. Will definitely be dropping by and sending my friend I have made since joining to check them out. Recluse Writer
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This one I'm not sure about - I was thinking of the heart pondering which would still be an "it" And I always hate it when there the same word even an "I" is placed too often.
My heart still aches
these past 12 years.
Often it will ponder
did all my love I offer
(Now I'm looking at aches not rhying with years)
Thanks for the great comment.
Tang
Come and just visit - anytime! -
Grrrreat
Thank you for the comment on Miles of Fears which led me to your works of art. Totally captivating and still readable with flow. Could have applauded more of yours, but my hands would be aching and points diminishing.
Only hiccup that stopped my flow in this was the 'it not I' in angels upper arm. Meant to be maybe.
Amazing and novel way of presenting thoughts. Dare to be different. Recluse Writer -
thank you lio
-
I love the differences in styles around the world, one only uses words to express a picture, one uses a picture to express words and you use words to make a picture and express it as a whole.
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Dear dutch2lips,
The sequence comes in different directions. Usually I have a draft that I use to start. Then the words seem to take their own shape. I think I'm enjoying the figurals so much because I don't have that absolute control that a blueprint requires. -
Dear GodeSsOfTemPtati0n,
You may put Budz up if you choose. This one is very precious and personal for me. Thank you.
Tang -
oh how much pain can you put into words. I can see the hollow place in your heart when he left you and how you filled it with memories, a place where he will always be.
you form the words then form the sentences then form.
making it a whole and beautiful piece of art! -
can i keep this one and post it up. i love angels... and this one is amazing
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this is touching. very touching piece. it touch my heart. and im sorry about your loss... if you will send me budz as my angel then i would gladly take your son and keep him in my heart... thank you for entering goodluck!
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Dear Donna,
Thanks this is one that came from deep inside. And the ending just happened, as I finished the figural. (tear falls) -
Tang,
Very beautifully written and shaped and very personal as well. I feel can feel the emotions shine through yours words.
~Donna~
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