some people often complain about my firty ducking mouth
they say I talk like toor white prash from the deep, deep south
or a sailor who just got back from the futher mucking fleet
or any dirty wino living on the sock cucking street
I hate to dissapoint them, but there's one thing I do fear
that the shi..pping orders i'm saying are the cleanest you will hear
It's not that I have Tourettes, or any bull-whip like that
It's just that i'm hard to offend with words like "splickersplat"!
I have a terrible potty mouth, this dodgamn fact is true
as much as I try to break it, some ship always comes through
It embarrases me sometimes when I'm out with my date.
and I've said "fudgermuck" 30 times before the clock strikes eight!
I do not know the reason why I swear so khest'n much
it could be from my childhood, past memories and such
what ever it is, I tell you now, it doesn't make me cool
to talk like a dirty massmole makes me look like a fool.
Author notes
"Khest" is a Klingon expletive from John M Ford's "the final reflection", which apparently has the same meaning as the F-word in our language. I use it a lot when I'm in public. If people don't know what it means, how can they be offended?
Written April 27th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- AnnDeefanity - saying it without saying it by AnnD.
500 points, ended May 15, 2006, 2 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Well wrucking fitten. Not as good as my pucking foem (IMHO) but there U gucking fo.
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A very creative piece wow "fudgermuck" 30 times before the clock strikes eight thats a lot
Im not sure what is worse that or the fact you know what the Klingon word for F*&^% is lol 
well done
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You should have your mucking fouth washed out with soap. LOL. Very funny poem, good luck in the contest my friend.
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This is pretty cool, I used to be in the fleet, not now thank God! But, yeah, I think most people have no respect for words anymore, too bad.
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This is hilarious! Quite a creative poem that has been beautifully thought out and constructed. Very well done indeed,
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Great write, you've really captured the spirit of the contest. You exhibit a wonderful command of potty mouth. Good handling of expletives all 'round. Best of luck in the contest.
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Ah once again a very well composed and executed anndeefanity poem....
well done.
this had me smiling from the start
A great entry and I wish you lluck in the contest. This should be alot of fun for everyone.
AnnD
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