Because there is danger
in skew of mouth
when the words pour out
I will watch more intently
for hearing what you have to say
may take hand, heart,
sinew and bone of it
make it raw meat
ground, light, sweet
to those who prefer it
stop talking with your eyes
I can not decipher
spaces between your teeth
and knit of your brow
write it with tip of finger
here, where skin reads it
then, when touch is gone
I will know it.
Author notes
talk, talk, talk
Written April 27th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- "Gold" this time by Virgoan.
550 points, ended June 6, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
I like the raw feeling as I read the piece.
My favorite lines:
I can not decipher
spaces between your teeth
and knit of your brow
The flow is intense and great.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing my friend.
~VIRGOAN~
-
-
ty my friend.
-
ty, pen friend. Such ncie comments and they mean something coming from you.
-
-
well, this is very solid poem. Congrats.
-
-
ty ea.....thought to try the re-entry process contest.
-
-
Oh, no, I wrote it back in the late 80s...I have much of my things still in storage. It is there where I will find it when I collect those bits and pieces and make them a home here with me.
-
cool! Is your Coca Cola sign poem here?
-
You are in my head! I wrote one about "Under the Coca Cola sign", once, that spoke of jsut this in another way. He showed me a love letter from his mistress and asked for my blessing. I am ever grateful to this woman for allowing me to fly free. You are correct. Thank you so much for the silver. I truly appreciate your confidence in this poem.
-
I like that line about not being able to decipher the spaces between your teeth. It's somehow menacing. The whole poem strikes me as being about someone confronting their partner about their relationship ending. The love is gone, it's now capable of flaying the heart, the hand, and after this last touch, the signing of the epidermal divorce papers, it will all be over. It's a finalization.
-
You know when you hold your mouth to keep emotion from really showing...I was working on this in this poem...that forced smile that says, "you are not affecting me..."
-
Well, think for a moment what you remember best...the words or the touch on your skin? do you remember a beating best or the hug? do you remember judgements rather than words of encouragement? That is where I was going with this.
-
Well, think for a moment what you remember best...the words or the touch on your skin? do you remember a beating best or the hug? do you remember judgements rather than words of encouragement? That is where I was going with this.
-
lol a new religion based on hamburger...is that like the Holy Cow religion? LOLOLOL
-
Nice write.
Sort of prophetic and funny.
Nice combination.
Anulka
-
yay!
this was a very vivid write. I could very easily picture the emotions behind the words. Although it did feel just a teeny bit forced. Great job though! -
good colors, but i didnt get it.
-
I don't get it. Ty for sharing though.
-
Hey this is fabulous...and and it sounds so full of meaning like a new religion based on hamburger...great job..
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
1 old applause
