A single word drawn like a scalpel;
absolute and final in its meaning,
farewell dealt with clinical precision.
Nausea chokes me as I watch you leaving;
there is no good in bye when love breaks,
just the echo of pain round an empty heart.
Author notes
Written April 27th, 2006
A contest entry
- Simplicity of Goodbye by Darianna.
800 points, ended February 8, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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wow so sad and powerful yet beautiful and lovely. amazing job here!
marvellous
write
and good luck in the contest =)
stephanie -
Wow, this is beautiful
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Thanks Savina, for your kind words, glad you liked it!
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WOAH
So Lovely!!!!! Oh my... I have to say this is amazingly written and it had such a deep affect on me.... wow...wow...wow...Nice job and good luck!
♥Savina♥
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i loved this poem so much it is amazing u have a wonderful way with words thanks for entering and goodluckxox
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Thanks Queenie, for your kind comments. The poem speaks of a past charlatan found out with time, a hug from you heals all the wounds so thank you my Queen....
Love from your King!X -
a wonderful write
Gosh my king, who did this to you?
What a superb write this is, it brought a tear to my eye you have expressed such sadness here and I want to hug you...it may be just a write and not true but you have written it so well that it feels true so I still need to hug you
...sometimes the word goodbye does cut through the heart like cold sharp steel, I especially like the last two lines, they really got to me...the spacing also has a good effect on your poem allowing the reader to digest each line without speeding through it...
love to you from Queenie -
So well done again, nipper!
Excellent piece of work!! ..flowed well and was a thoroughly enjoyable read. you may find, for this day, that i leave the same comment on others works if your one to check up on that kind of thing. for today, i write this, as the work demands on my are high and am only choosing the select few who's writes meet the standards of this comment.
For me, unlike others, the most important thing in writing...or shall i see reading...is feeling an impact. ...being left with an impression. and obviously, that being said, a positive impression...whether it be just "wow'd" by the write itself in it's individuality and layout or style - then on to the content...the effort of the author to convey imagery, vision, emotion, and all those things tied up inside everything from a dark, eerie write, to a beautiful, moving romantic piece...all the way to the absurd, funny and far out of the box.
Know that your work has had, if not one,...many of the positive effects mentioned early upon my read today.
I thank you for this piece and found it thoroughly enjoyable!!!
All the best to you...and keep on writing.....Lionslove.
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Sometimes goodbye kills us inside - I think I would prefer something like see you later or just plain there's the door lol
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One can really sense the cold feel of steel these words. Excellent construct.
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Achingly descriptive
A moving piece of writing, describing the turmoil of another's leaving so well. Good luck in the comp. S x
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