Under a gilded moon we danced,
In a golden circle of infinity,
Stars twinkling above glanced
At us dancing rhythmically
To the tune of sweet amour;
You bewitched me with your eyes
suspending me in a trance
Your eyes penetrating my soul did hypnotize
With the magic of your essence;
Underneathe a gilded moon
We spun in enchanted circles
Lost forever in the tune
Of love sung by some cosmic choir.
You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love you,
With a love so deep it cuts through my very essence
With just a touch and a kiss so warm and true
My body enthralled in a potent trance.
Our lips, by a strange magnetic force
Bond together in a kiss
My heart cannot help but wonder
What spell brought me to this state of bliss;
You've bewitched me most profoundly
With your warlock's curse
Your spell has captured me
In a hyptonic trance
Underneathe the gilded moon
We spin in a cirlcle of infinity
And In a delirious swoon
Under a sky of deep velvet blue
I whisper feverishly that I love you!
Mary Aris (c) 2006
Author notes
Written April 27th, 2006
A contest entry
- you've bewitched me, body and soul by StarvingAuthor.
500 points, ended April 30, 2006, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Because I love giving challenges, by catalyst..
550 points, ended November 1, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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This had a bit of an old fashion flare to it that stayed consistent throughout the poem. Its a tad bit stretched away from the black and white movie option but I can see how it would fit in their
The story line was interesting and the rhyming wasn't forced at all, which I love.
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This is a cool poem...
It reminds me of older school poems... like that pre-contemporary stuff....
Very nice flow and rhythm...
I'll have to check you other writes...
Awesome job...
Peace and Love...
Matt -
delightful!! I'm finally getting some awesome writes!! thank you!
~sierra -
This is a very well-written piece.
I found that some words were repeated a bit too often, and feel that the poem would have better impact if the repetativeness of those few words was removed.
Other than that this is splendidly beautiful write.
Best of luck in the contest.
Smoosh
~Sherry~
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