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Corollet












imp-faced
poetry fades
more quickly now; too soon
pushed over, mowed down, fed on, ground
tillage


arranged
in somber rows
of long tended sonnets,
ruminations dazed to fruitful
splendor


harvests
stocked in boxes
set aside in chilling cellars
wait at starvation's edge to be
savored  











Author notes


Written April 26th, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • i am random
    May 12, 2006
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    That is a very nice peom i just might say!!!!!!!!!!!

    Justine, as known as... Drama Queen7

    come and see my poems =)

  • oneluckygirl
    May 7, 2006
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    Suffice to say I am shocked by the award. As you noted, Ron, indeed it was a flash of passion. My stubborn side though still surfaced in the last stanza. Somehow the balance seemed needed to bring the three to their final glory.

    I'm just tickled by this, most especially when I read the writings of the other entrants and recognize their talent.

    Again, I thank the Winklings for the push it took to help me stretch.


  • Lyndon gold member
    May 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Congratulations from the bottom of my heart.

    Dear Jane, What a brilliant effort! Corollet is a wonderful form to express a feeling, philosophy or 'itch', dressed in metaphor so splendidly. In the first one, I could not help feeling that Robert Frost's admiration of the early morning mower's sensitivity had vanished from the earth.
    I feel that even Shakespeare lets us down in his sonnet sequence through his ruminations repeated. There are special sonnets of his we all cherish, of course. If the Bard failed, sonneteers must be awfully careful not to fall into the trap of monotony. Where have all the poems gone?
    In cold storage!
    But your poem is so fresh and vibrant. Its quality has never been tainted by cold story. A flash of passion took you there and you were more than adsequate to the task. Allelulia!
    Ron of the Winklings. for your wisely awarded gold.

  • Rowan gold member
    May 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh...I fell in love with this piece!
    What a brilliant entry.
    The imagery and form, is breathtaking.
    Well done!


  • Malabu
    May 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    love the creativity of this wonderful write....thoughts of a poets garden being tilled....seeded with new thoughts.....delighting us all with the buds of its fern.....so to speak......one could believe....it to be a pen.....but then again......I leave that to your imaginations.....mine says......wonderfully done....
    Malabu


  • crystallynnbradford
    May 3, 2006
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    This is a very beautiful piece. You should be proud of it. It made me smile while reading the last stanza and I had lilies in my mind while I was reading this too I hope that you do well in this contest.


  • grannyeri gold member
    April 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Some wonderful images and thoughts you have written here. Check the syllable count in the third line of the last verse - think you have two too many there.


  • Nicolette gold member
    April 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Slendid job - I can't believe this is your first attempt at writing cinquains! But then, if one is a poet at heart, the poetry will rise from the dark, damp cellars and come into light...and bloom - like this one! Simply beautiful writing towards the light...

    ~ Nicolette


  • NoWayJo
    April 27, 2006
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    I'm not familiar with cinquains or many poetic forms myself, Jane, but this poem aside of even form is just lovely. Each stanza feels to develop a metaphor of "life" to a different level...from birth to old-age "harvest" reflections.

    really lovely writing...and best wishes to you in the contest!'

    Jo

    P.S.: also thanks for your message to me a few-weeks-ago. I meant to get back to you...


  • heartnsoul
    April 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    So gently we place our harvests in our boxes, waiting patiently for our return. To savour, linger over our pain,joys and triblulations from seedling to what we are now and will be. Timeless are the fruits, laying beautifully in carefully tended rows. Patiently waiting for us to harvest them once again as we pour over them for us to find yet another seed to plant and nurture. Not one word is born until it is ready to be, not one word, collection of words or thoughts are shared until they are meant to be. From what I see of zayra's comment, your timing is impeccable. Shared the moment it was meant to.
    Jane, you've written one here that just flows to the depths of ones being.
    ~Michelle~

  • sokeeg
    April 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A fine work indeed, I specially the stanza which said,
    harvests
    stocked in boxes
    set aside in chilling cellars
    wait at starvation's edge to be
    savored


  • Heart Sutra
    April 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is perfect. It is the only perfect piece of poetry I have read today. And, while you maybe referring to "poetry" I took the metaphor a bit farther because in my life there are many places and faces I could apply these words too. This one really struck a deep cord with me in ways that leave me speechless.

  • oneluckygirl
    April 26, 2006
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    The fight against cynicism continues. Together, maybe you and I can pull each other through.


  • dp robertson
    April 26, 2006
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    That is chilling in its portrayal of how one saves one’s soul from going under. Not only in the beauty of this piece but something so flecked with…gratefulness for the smallest of mercies and how art and loveliness can so ultimately save you from desolation. This is a magical piece of writing. It has saved this reader, I hope it saved the writer as well.

    David


  • SusanL
    April 26, 2006
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    if at first you don't succeed try try again - no need to do that here. Three tries and three direct hits. When someone is a poet at heart it is not so hard to apply a few new rules to the music. You have proven that here. I read your note in group that this was your first shot at this.
    Splendid and unique.
    Susan


  • leo2
    April 26, 2006
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    What neat little 'triquain'. Shoot I just burn mine.... to cd that is. Every so often I break it out and read them. Good luck in the contest.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • sock monkey
    April 26, 2006
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    Very nice job. I think it's about saving your poetry, no? Or saving anything until it's needed. But that's just my perception. Lovely little poem.

  • oneluckygirl
    April 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    awww....

    thank you.


  • sleeves for summer
    April 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I really like this, it really reminds me of growing up on the farm, and your vocabulary would make Webster blush, outstanding

1 - 19 of 19