Observe the sky as the flames reach its wondrous heights.
Magnificent flares of deadly glares, and you above the act.
Smiling with cruel omniscience, with that smile that knows.
When a soft butterfly gets caught in the unknown
and the flares elevate again, leaving nothing in the snow.
But remembrance still prevails, the more you insist the farther I leave.
However, if you lay quiet as death, I might approach on a light step.
But then I'll see your face, and the traces that evil have left.
And even though, once, that face shone with glee, now,
all that’s left is the memory of pain and of that leave.
A back, a tear, a hand, a leer, hatred, and fear,
things left behind, subject to the past, not much to do now.
So now I turn as that lost white butterfly that got caught
in a whirlwind of feelings, of beliefs and inexperience.
So wanting to feel the heat of the fire, I recklessly approached.
The burn of the fire I felt. The feeling of regret I felt. Feelings,
which I don’t expect or want for them to return. For now I am,
I’m secure in this shell of fantasies and hopes, waiting, hoping.
So my freedom would have had incinerated if that mighty fire
had not been extinguished. But now that it's gone, I wonder
if that fire died on its own, or if the snow swallowed it whole.
And the butterfly soars with open wings, thankful for destiny,
Observing the melodic clear blue sky and the lack of smoke;
the butterfly flutters about, safe from ashes and harmful flames.
And that fire crumbles and hides on shadows, in pain, in memories;
leaving the butterfly to camouflage its wings with the snow itself,
forgetting forever those feeling to revolt against the everlasting cold.
Perhaps.
Author notes
Written April 25th, 2006
Mila7-Mila
A contest entry
- Anything. by Lj-.
300 points, ended May 15, 2006, 120 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Happiness is only temporary by BellaD.
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300 points, ended July 16, 2008, 61 entries
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Ok...
AMAZING write, and some incredible lines there. Some wonderful imagery too.
But it's really frustrating that you didn't put your option in your author notes. -
Editorial comments:
- line 9. "shinned" -> "shone"
- line 14. "believes" -> "beliefs"
- line 17. remove "for them"
I feel like the clarity of the piece would be improved by using a larger variety of punctuation (i.e., less commas and more of other things). As is, the thoughts seem to be really long and rambling. I think if you could fix that the piece would be much easier to follow -
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thank you so much
I a greatly appreciate your input. I wrote this poem a long while back and I'm glad to make the corrections, thank you.
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lovely piece. your imagery is wonderful
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Thank you for your comment
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this was a marvelous piece here i think you did excellent good luck on your contest hon
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very nice story you provided here you penned your feelings very well in this piece i want to give you all the luck in my contest
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Isn't this lovely ... I am particularly taken with the first two lines of the second stanza. Beautifully written. x
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unbelievable talent..
uhmmm...wow...miha....this... A+++ ....absolutely.
thank you for this. ...blewn away.....breathless.
atb................................Lionslove
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