he said:
dreams define maelstroms
of desire
hell fires
apocalyptic lust
he danced
on the slenderest of wires
angelic heckler
expiating trust
a thorny crown
a tarnished spoon
a squalid stable
a needle pointing in direction of decay
morphia
propitiates salvation
oh godless dreamers
what do your ecstasies proclaim?
he awakens from crusades a ravaged loner
never tiring of repeating past mistakes
time decayed bereft of honor
youth wasted in unconsecrated grace
souless players
devoured on the inside
seedless, hollowed, empty husks
all that remain
his image cast in
profane stigmata
heaven waivers in his mindscape
like a stain
Author notes
option 1
Written April 25th, 2006
A contest entry
- For Serious Poets with Serious Poetry. by MissPennyLane.
300 points, ended June 19, 2006, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Junkie by JadedxPassion.
400 points, ended April 21, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How you feel about drugs by 6-Ft-UnDeR.
300 points, ended May 17, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark and Depressing #2 by XHollowXEyesX.
750 points, ended June 18, 2007, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Any length prewrties excepted...Topic Addiction (Drugs, Liquor, etc.) by mysticstorm.
475 points, ended January 21, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Addiction/Recovery Rhyming Contest - Ends in One Day by GenUWinePoet.
450 points, ended September 21, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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Strong and thought provoking words of raw emotion and truth...very deep and intense words you have penned...love the meaning both seen and hidden...
Great work.
Thank you for entering! -
wow this is a really impressive piece. there is so much raw emotion and underlying meaning that provokes you to think to other level. the flowed was smooth and natural with great impact.
I wish I could add you to my fianlist, but I asked I of a simple thing
or all entries to have their option number in their authors box. I know it may be obvious to which one it is, but it shows that you have read the contest and respect it. please IM or add it to your write, I may then be able to consider it for finals.Sorry.
Thanks for entering this is really a great write -
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XHollowXEyesX
I was aware you wanted the option but somehow didn't do it, for that I apologize. It may be too late now but I did put it in. Thanks for your wonderfully kind words on my poem.
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this was a great write.your words were powerful and emotional..i enjoyed reading this and it flowed really well to keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest..
~Chrissy~ -
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xxMutilatedxAngelxx
Again I thank you for your words!
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there are so many beautiful lines in this poem im not even going to copy the whole thing and paste it in this box....very nice write..i love all of the imagery
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6-Ft-UnDeR
Thank you for your words. Tonight they encouraged me because I was at a point where I was thinking ..."you suk girl...give it up" (!) So again ...thanks.
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souless players
devoured on the inside
seedless, hollowed, empty husks
all that remain
Beautiful Line. You Put It Into Words In A Way I've Never Heard. I Like This Poem Because Of The Mood, The Pattern And The Variety Of Words. That Alone Makes It A Very Original Piece. The Fact That It's An Expeirence Also Is a Factor. Beautiful Write, I Enjoyed. Best Luck In The Contest. -
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Blissful Serenity
Thank you for reading my write and making such an encouraging and thoughtful comment. I really do appreciate it!
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Haunting
i know such scars of the soul and metaphorical heart and the devils that put them there...
really like the how you have painted a vivid picture of such a bleak thing.
-cheers
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xxxxxxxxx
Thank you for reading this piece and for your insights. I appreciate both.
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High quality
I'm trying to search for one meaning that stands out above all the others I see in this. The thorns and the needle, a great similym (how d;ya spell that), highly symbolic of what we do to God (as in what we do to ourselves.
Thanx for entering
Georgia -
hey, it grabbed my attention from out of the drudge of the link sidebar, it kept my attention while reading, and I'm still thinking about it after I'm done. I like, a lot.
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this is an amazing poem..although i found the image not so relevent. i like how you've used such a varied range of vocabulary...adds emotion to the poem.
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this is an excellent poem, flowed so smoothly and so dark. i love dark
i just wanted more when i reached the end. just pure brilliance love it. well done keep up the good work! 
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This is a really great poem my friend.I only wish I could use big and beautiful words like that.I am just a simple girl.I get lost trying to write this kind of stuff.LOL.Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work.
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MxOrpheus, thank you so much for your comment...you encouraged me and... well, lets just say you made my day!!!
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Definitely amazing. My favorite bit was:
[morphia propitiates salvation
oh godless dreamer
what do your ecstasies
proclaim?]
Your word choice was astounding. There's a force at work here. You can feel it.
<3V -
Interesting: I looked the word up in my Websters. Not there. Hence my response. But with your reply went to a Funk and Wagnall published 1955 and there it was. I don't have an OED which I believe would be the bible. My definition is to acknowledge something. I llike my definition for your line better than just to be aware of the descent but to acknowledge it. A subtle change of meaning.
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mamad, thank you so much! Actually "agnize" is a word meaning:
Be fully aware or cognizant of
I really appreciate your reading and taking time to comment. It means a lot to me. -
very nice
rich vocabulary!! Rich in subtle denunciation of the drug of chcoice. One technical comment. In the last line you use "agnize" Spelling? Typo? Or deliberate ellipsis to maintain the meter? If ellipsis you need an apostrophe between "g" and "n". No major flaw! -
a needle pointing in direction of decay
Can't get enough of that line. This was good the whole well through. I liked it a lot. I'm not *sure* I get it, but I think so. From this write alone you can tell you have talent.
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heavensdesires, thank you!
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souless passions devour from the inside
the hollowed husk lay jagged, jaded, spent
tracks bear witness to profane stigmatas
flying too high to agnize descent
Well done! Thank you again for your entry.
Much love to you & yours-
Carissa & Timothy
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julie42, thank you so much!
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poeticweaver, thank you!
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Well put together, thanks for your entry, good louck!
-Timothy & Carissa~ -
Cool
This is a great write. Twisted subtlety is a great device. -
A very dark write for me....Your word choice was superb as I actually had to look a couple of them up!
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This says so much for me as my friend was an addict although she said she would never use a dirty needle I wonder if she ever did when she was high....but that question will never be answered as she OD'd in June 01 leaving behind two beautiful daughters and a lot of sadness.
Thankyou for sharing this it is well written and a pleasure to read
Good luck xx -
i disagree, you just have to look for deeper meaning, i happent to like it, but the only thing i would change is the last 2 lines, well not really change but add to, to try and get a stonger ending. the whole poem until that point has a certain atitude and then it just kind of dropped slightly there. idk thats what i think, keep writing, this is good.
<3THE BLONDEST -
I guess I dont get it. I may not be digging deep enough though for I am tired with lack of sleep. Ty for sharing.
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