The seamless myst'ry of his age
Unlocked inside his darkened cage
I fear the ancient kindred lies
I fear the beast seen in his eyes
The night-time sky embraces fright
As leathered bat now takes to flight
No creature safe, though in disguise
I fear the beast seen in his eyes
Surrender to the winter's bane
Retreating now from whence he came
I see the light from northern skies
I fear the beast seen in his eyes
The seamless myst'ry of his age
I fear the beast seen in his eyes
Author notes
Written on 25th April 2006 at 00:54 GMT
Bat! Kyrielle sonnet!
In a list
- trophy 1 - gold • next in list
- trophy 2 - silver • next in list
- written for contests • next in list
- 11-20 • next in list
- rhyme • next in list
- form: sonnet: kyrielle • next in list
- animal related, real & fictional • next in list
A contest entry
- Trade In Your GOLD for GREEN by ea.
360 points, ended August 26, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round 2: Enter your best Prewrite... by Sheilasbabygal4life.
400 points, ended November 6, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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This was good. It didn't keep my attention. Sorry but I am going to have too say that You can't go too round 3. Thanks for entering though. Keep on writing.
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great poem,thanks for sharing
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Thanks for reminding me of this interesting old French form; I like this and I'm pleased to hear about what a good job your university is doing on the GREEN front. Your GREENNESS shines!
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Very nice. Is there a difference between a kyrielle and a kyrielle sonnet? I'm not very familiar with the form. From what I can tell, though, you've done a nice job. I like how you haven't overloaded the ends of lines with commas, as some poets are apt to do when they have a rhyme scheme like this. But the complete lack of any kind of punctuation makes it a little difficult to distinguish where your thoughts begin and end. Just my humble suggestion.
I like your chosen rhyme scheme. By playing off of long vowel sounds, you have ensured that your reader's attention is caught and held. Beautiful and vivid imagery; I like how you leave the identity of "him" open to interpretation. That way, you know who you were writing about, but the reader has the freedom to associate the subject with someone they know.
This is very good. Thank you for entering and good luck! -
Thank you so much for your entry I enjoyed reading it. I will have results no later than tomorrow
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You would have been an awesome poet laureate with this piece. You have truly mastered the art of the kyrielle sonnet, and your creature pieces. Magnificent.
Yours in wonder (again),
Kain
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I don't know much about the form, but the poem was brilliant and the repittitions were smooth.The rhyming was great and the flow was even better!Thanks for entering and best of luck
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I agree with Frodofan on this one. This is a fantastic and powerfully penned piece. I believe it is one of my all time faves of yours that I've read. Your writing is always solid, but this is truly phenomenal! Bravo!
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Best kyrielle I've ever read. The meter was perfect! Just rolled out perfectly. Thanks so much for entering!
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Amazing
Whoa this was amazing! ^-^ So descriptive and captivating! I loved every word! Kind of reminded me of a character I play when I role play. lol Anyways it was awesome, and so beautiful! -
This is really good. It gave me shivers down my spine. Fantastic!!
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oh this is so good this is well written great imagery and the words flow with ease this is just all around a real nice write
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wow, that's beautiful!
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i love dis
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Thank you for this very interesting verses and aslo very nice sonnet. Great expressed feelings. This kind of sonnet is perfect used to shoow all of your emotions. I am not good with syllables counting, but it seems to be eight per line. If I am wrong, I will try to count again
~Sonja~
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