Sometimes I long to flee from myself.
To a place far from me.
Far from this prison of flesh and blood.
Far still from this raging hunger
And unbearable thirst.
Sometimes I long to descend,
To a place far beneath myself.
Far beneath my character,
Or even my possibilities.
And there assume the guise of a mythical beast:
One that neither feeds, breathes, nor dies.
Sometimes I long to discuss coherently
With the legions entrapped within myself:-
The accusers;
The martyrs;
The lynch-mob;
All who bang furiously at my sanity,
Engaging me in constant bickering
Until the break of dawn.
Author notes
Written April 23rd, 2006
A contest entry
- Lisi&Becca.. 7 options! 800 pts! by BloodyxNightengale.
800 points, ended June 3, 2006, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best prewrite EVER! by love tank x.
650 points, ended May 1, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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well written love
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wow, awesome write,YAY ANOTHER INSANE PERSON!! hey lisi!! we have another one!! lol Okay, anywayz, I like how you described the beast as voices, and things eating away at your sanity. Thanx for entering, good luck.
Best wishes,
Becca
Edited on May 25, 12:20 because ''. -
Lisi
Thanks aplenty for your comment and taking time to read. Much appreciated.
Hugs & hugs & more hugs!!
Sam -
Wow...insanity person! yayyy
haha ok I'm done with all that. Great write, man.
I like how you bring the beast into play here. It just makes it all the better, I swear.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Lisi -
bla, I like it just the way it is. Poetry is not form! poetry is emotion.When you understand the emotion in the words of poetry, a form un-dictated by syllables and punctuation takes shape.When im yelling, do i need to say exclamation point? no the emotion itself is form... for those that think poetry has anything to do with form and length i say,i pity you. Form is but a challenge placed by the excelling poet upon themself, to portray emotions just as well DESPITE the form.
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written rhythm
thank you very much for your comments and advice.I,m still in a learning phase and would appreciate any tips.Hope your kick those distractions away.
Luv
Sam -
(On a side note, forgive me if I seem abrupt and a bit oblivious to what's going on here... I'm kind of distracted right now.) This s a well-written piece. I thought it had a very powerful message presented in a manner that is interesting, brief (in a good way), descriptive, and thoughtful. I might suggest that you work on adding some semblance of rhythm, because that generally makes it nicer on the ears when read aloud, but I think that you are doing perfectly fine without.
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Vidia
thanks for your in-depth comments.I really appreciate it.
Much love
Sam -
Thank you very much for your gracious comments pollycheck. God bless!!
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Thumbs Up
This is an eye opening poem that I could very easily relate to. I think that everyone some time in their life would just like to run away and get away from it all -
Very Very good
Deliciously apt in the descriptions of the multiple feelings of inner torment..I like this poem alot,far more than your other I read.... Most likely because I relate to this one more personaly,I felt conected to each line.Perfect!! I like how you take us through the fear,longing, emptiness,the embraceing of numbness...the self contradiction.. all without actualy saying any of the over used words.... Best dark poem I have yet read..As well as the most self analytical/honest.Spectacular!! Punctuation??ha!as if I even bothered to look at such, I was to busy being transported back into the maelstrom of gloom that once encased me.. -
Well said. I understand these feelings so well. I always want to flee from myself, and am bickering with the voices in my head. I relate so much to this poem. Well done. Thank you for sharing.
Jeannie D
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you need to add punctuation or this will be cut this afternoon
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thank you very much-I'm honoured.
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thank you for your entry and you will remain until the final rounds. viyanna
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I apreciate you changing it for I would have missed a great write. TY.I have often wanted to flee from me. You captured how I have felt many a time. I can relate.
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thanks for pointing out. I have now changed the background. I hope this one is comfortable for you.
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I was intrigued by the title; but I cannot read this text. It so hurts my eyes. Sorry.
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This is written well, the words are so cool. I like it thanks.
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nice job
very much enjoyed this poem good luck in the contest and yes it is something i can relate to aswell..nicely worded -
Sometimes I long to discuss coherently
With the legions entrapped within myself
now this is something i can relate to!!! you wrote this very well. thank you for something that is well, so human. i appreciate your entry and wish you the best of luck. vilanger
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