A big clash of lightning strikes
banging deeply in my heart
As the rain taps gently on my window
it slides slowly down the shutters
with my tears following in the same pace
The pain and sorrow of the tears I shed
Of you leaving me here alone
with nothing but a dreadful memory in head
The rain gets heavier as I think of what to do
Scattered showers flow and so does my feelings for you
The wind and thunder begin to clash and toss together
Making me feel deeply under the weather
Trees swaying nonstop,but rapidly through the harsh breeze
As the rain slows down a bit so I can ease
The thunder bangs hard and sets off a circuit in my brain
Leaving me wondering how to help my spirit regain
Soon to form a whirling wind of hatred and unwanted feelings
Turning into a storm of revenge to be put upon this dreadful villain
Slowly the rain begins to settle
As I slowly calm my self and try not to lose a petal
What's a girl to do when her heart is broken
By the one who was her only gold token
Sitting here grieving over hurt, love and its pain
Take my soul away from this Heavy Rain
Author notes
Tell me what you think!
Written April 21st, 2006
A contest entry
- Titles.. Something for everyone by Broken-Bones.
500 points, ended May 5, 2006, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Maybe it's the heavy rain that needs to wash away the pain that is filled inside your heart. Sorry that your heart was broken. You expressed it well!
Happy Memorial Day weekend and please be safe out there (I'm driving to my brothers and I don't want you to hit me...seriously, please be careful so I can see you here at a later time)
Ted E -
A very heart felt piece, that begins with the onslaught of nature around you:
As the rain taps gently on my window
it slides slowly down the shutters
with my tears following in the same pace
And delves into the depths of your heart. You have used very good descriptive words to portray this, and I like your choice of title, Heavy Rain.
May the sun always shine brughtly for you.
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I thought this piece was full of emotion and feeling and really managed to clearly show the hurt and pain which are key in the poem. I lived the metaphor in the opening stanza about the thunder crashing in to your heart and i thought this really begun the poem nicely. I thought throughout the poem was well crafted and written and then at the end you finshed it very nicely. I loved the last two lines and could really relate to the idea and the longing to get away form the miserable hurt. Nice work x
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Than you soo much!
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i love the emotional overflow your piece shows. it is some gorgeous writing and i cannot wait to read more of your work. congratulations on this piece, keep writing!
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Thanks!
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This was a really good write. Enjoyed reading it. Best of luck in the contest!
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loved it
Oh this was a really sad piece to read but you have written it beautifully it is full of emotions and was really well written.
I loved every single word xx
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