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The Child in The Painting



There's a child in the painting
In the bushes, in the glen
There's a child in the painting
By the howling river bend.

There's a child lost and waiting
For a world where words prevail
For a whisper of a hero
Somewhere far beyond the veil.

If you listen you can hear him
You can hear the soft despair
If you listen you can hear him
Share his lonely little prayer...


Is the night sky really empty?
Are my only friends the grass?
Is this frame my frame forever?
Can a whisper break through glass?


There's a child in the painting
In the hallway of your home
There's a child in the painting
But his name is still unknown.

There's a way for you to reach him
If your heart can lead the way
To the place where words are woven
Through the walls that won't decay.

And if he listens he will hear you
He will hear it in the air
He will follow in the footsteps
Of your angelescent prayer...


No, the night sky isn't empty.
There are whispers unconfined
But the only way to hear them
Is to leave this world behind.


There's a child in the painting
Who can sense the drifts of time
There's a child in the painting
With a cunning sense of rhyme.

There's a child in the painting
With a face hard to define
But if I had to guess this instant
Then I'd guess his face were mine.

And I'd guess his name were my name
And his hands were my hands too
Then I'd sigh myself a silver sigh
And sing this song to you...


When the night sky's seeming empty
When forever lasts too long
Just remember someone's watching
Who's been with you all along.



Author notes



it's a poem about being there for somebody... no mater what dimension they live in



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Comments

1 - 30 of 30
  • the fave game:
    the last stanza...cuteness
  • Eusebius
    May 20

    Edit | Reply
    Superb, absolutely superb in every regard... lyric and so lovely and ineffably sad! (my only humble suggestion would be to do away with the bold stanzas) I loved this. Bravo.. BRavo... Bravo


  • Blind-Ambition
    October 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I'm re-commenting because I know you're a comment whore.
    I still love this poem, and the painting that inspired it.
    Read Whitman's "On the Beach at Night," it especially fits the italicized parts.

  • PrincessOfFire
    October 18, 2006
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    The bad part first:
    There's a child in the painting
    With a face hard to define> you had 7 syllables on all others
    But if I had to guess this instant
    Then I'd guess his face were mine.
    I would like to suggest this line to balance your flow on that part. Its face so tiny and fine

    I like repetive work but I feel its better used for shorter writes, this is just my opinion.

    The best part is it made me think of the painting that hangs in my house, among the forest, trees and grasses, is a small girl.

    Gave me a new perspective in which to look at it. The painting is titled Lost Child by Lonzo.

    When I got passed the above problem, I really liked it a lot. I felt it was done with care, and there is an emotion built within your words.

    I could see you writing as you studied the picture. That's when you do a great job, when the reader is pulled into the idea with you.

    God bless and good luck.

    Rose
    Edited on Oct 18, 9:04 because ''.

  • ohsweetie970
    October 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    bravo!!!! this is wonderful. it is whimsical yet very strong and gets its point across nicely. i like the rhyme scheme and the beat and i like how you formatted certain parts to makes them stand out they almost make a whole other poem together. anyways i also love the imagery and the picture you used. my favorite stanza is

    There's a child in the painting
    In the bushes, in the glen
    There's a child in the painting
    By the howling river bend.

    because it is so powerful and beautiful and creates the scene for the reader. this poem is a spectacular write and i loved reading it. you did an awesome job!

    ash
  • Cup Cake
    October 18, 2006
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    i loved your poem. i also love the background. it fits the poem very well. Keepp writing poetry to the best of your ability.
  • Revwilliamfoos
    October 18, 2006
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    great write but as i look at the painting i see more than one child this was tremendous keep doing well
    love the papa

  • LadyUnique silver member
    October 18, 2006
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    wow...call me blown away!!
    most pleasing rhyme to this ... seldom do i come across a rhyme that pleases me in this way.
    there's a tinge of sadness, loneliness in your words. in no way did i expect the ending.
    i will simply applaud
  • ian sawicki silver member
    October 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    a good poem, though i think it might have looked better without the bold sections, a matter of perspective i suppose. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...

  • orionrising
    October 18, 2006
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    Enchanting!!

    What an excellent write. My, my, I haven't read a poem like this in yonks. So unique and full of character. I appreciate you sharing this incredible write.

    Take care



    J

  • Spring Dale
    October 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    While the poem sticks to the theme of the picture, beautifully striking the cords with a magnificient melody,there are lessons imbibed in it. To reach out for the Lonely. And what a lovely thing to do so. So well written!

  • Previn
    October 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Read this now!!!

    Unbelievable!!! I am humbled by greatness.
    I just love this work, will have to bookmark it for sure.
    Deep, atmospheric, thought provoking and a stunning climax. I like the way you changed tack towards the end to actually reveal that the poem is about you, or it could be about whomever is reading it, i.e. it involves the reader, makes the reader feel as if he/she is the character in the poem.
    This is one of my favourite stanzas, "And I'd guess his name were my name
    And his hands were my hands too
    Then I'd sigh myself a silver sigh
    And sing this song to you..."
    Magnificently done my friend.
    Kind regards
    Previn

  • Wade
    October 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Just... give me a moment to pick my jaw up off the floor and swallow my heart to get it out of my throat and back where it belongs. Critical analysis: Your rhyme and rhythm - flawless. Imagery = immaculate and moving. This is probably the best poem I have read in a long time. Such a wonderful and hopeful message. I think, maybe, I just needed to read this today. Thanks for sharing this with the rest of us. Keep that pen aflowing.

    JWM
  • Yvette Champ
    October 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A well written piece that flowed well and touched the reader,the most poignant line being being "are my only friends the grass"I am glad to have read this and applaud loudly
  • ocerus
    October 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Evidently I've seen this before, though I don't remember seeing it. But whether I've seen this once, ten times, or committed it to memory, this is simply lovely. You really have a tremendous amount of talent, Greg, and to see you clicking on all cylinders as you do here is truly a great poetic sight to see. Lovely man! Wonderful! Bravo! Applause! Applause!! - ocerus

  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    October 18, 2006
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    Spectacular work!

    Fantastic use of metaphor, brilliantly written, thought-provoking, what a journey! I had to read this piece twice, it was so awesome! Great job, I love it!!

  • May 30, 2006
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    Perfect!

    I think that is a beautiful poem, I take it literal, it reminds me of a painting I adored as a child, it showed two little kids, a boy and girl and when I grew up I found out that the girl was actually my mother, sorry to get off track, I ramble.. back to your poem, I have a feeling that it might have a deeper meaning than I am grasping, but I like looking at it in the literal context. Well done! Very nice write, and pleasant to read. Tink
  • ocerus
    April 22, 2006
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    This is pretty good - far, far above the average - but to be honest, the climax kind of threw me. Why was he cut by the glass? Was it unavoidable simply because that was the only way out? I must say, though, that your way with rhyme is sublime (which rhymes in itself, doesn't it? ) This is pretty good. I just wish I understand the climax, but maybe it's me. Yours - oce

  • Iohagh
    April 22, 2006
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    Your write speaks to
    prosaic words and who
    I saw hiding away
    contrasting a path gay.

    And from me lept
    fears to just protect.
    It seems her choice
    has no single voice.

    Janet

  • Ashes of a Shadow
    April 22, 2006
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    This flowed smoothly and all though I don't normally enjoy typical rhyming poetry I thought on this occasion there was enough intricacy to attain the interest, nice effort indeed!

  • Wretched Heart
    April 22, 2006
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    WOW! I love this piece! It's so elegent in motion and it's smooth. Love the painting too. Very lonely feeling but bright and alive. Can't wait to read more of your work, you have a lot of talent. Great job!

  • lonely and free
    April 22, 2006
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    Stunning cry for help by proxy. Brilliant

  • Ink Shadow
    April 22, 2006
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    I like that reverberating anaphora "There's a child" which makes the read atmospheric. XAXA rhyme is also done very well! There's a child in all of us (PAC statement, pardon the pun). There's a child almost everywhere, wanting to learn...

    A very philosophical poem with ontological, teleological projections.

    D
  • Paradise Prisoner
    April 22, 2006
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    amazing poem..just amazing
    i find the painting rather creepy, though
    but i love the poem
    i love the repititive parts and idk..i found this quite sad...
    lovely write!
  • FallingClouds
    April 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful. I loved the rhyming and especially the first stanza in italics, very beautiful. I also liked your use of question marks--it makes it even sadder, although the end shows some kind of hope.

    Great job!
    Edited on Apr 22, 11:57 because ''.
  • Harris Zakria
    April 22, 2006
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    very nice

    Very nice
  • marrow
    April 21, 2006
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    - insert praise here -
    i've been commenting for more than a year now. i no longer know if there is anything else that i can praise you on. you're one of the top writers of our day, in my opinion. ten bucks says when you kick the bucket you'll become huge.

    sadly, you'll still be dead. jes' playin'.
    - justin

  • Blind-Ambition
    April 21, 2006
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    The happiness is found in the world where words prevail and are woven through walls that won't decay.
    Excellent, amazing, fantastic poem (fill in the adjective to further boost your ego). I really love this one. Great imagrey, ideas, inspiration. Intriguing questions as well.

  • Never Fall in Love gold member
    April 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful write...it really touched me
    u really are very talented, ur question...
    there is happiness, where you say he is lonely, he is actually free from the cruel world, where he stays in that place, he actually could have ran away from society, where his only friends are the grass, he never experience the hurt and pressure ur friends can give...he is in a place safe from the normal...
    great poem
    keep it up
    ~NeVeR faLL iN LuV~

  • James L Williams
    April 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    awesome poem

    very awesome. your words are dark yet very powerful. this is a great peice of work. you are very talented. to answer your question.....i think there is happiness in this.....you just got to search deep into your mind for it. great poem.
1 - 30 of 30