Bought and sold for a Holocaust Kiss.
Tethered and tarred to a Gentleman's boot.
If you stare at bullet holes
you can see the etching of an Eclipse.
Somewhere, I can hear the lowest pitch:
A subtle tone of carnage and cardovascular.
These men barefoot and besmirched,
from Mud fish they came.
Master masons of Gothic stone and alabaster,
They perfect a gainful geometry of reign
Toll Free for the men of the royal Mint.
Their faces bronzed, bruised,
Ordained by the gout, the pox, Florentines die.
Knock, Knock... comes the beetle
from Buenel's third eye.
Author notes
Written April 20th, 2006
A contest entry
- Surrealism by SereneMoon.
350 points, ended April 30, 2006, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Wow....I like it. I do have to say I think it was choppy, but it added to the essence of the poem. Double check your spelling next time, but in any case, great write!
~~~Serenity~~~ -
interestin' write!... good choice of words, very descriptive yet subtle in their meanin'... in the sixthline the word is cardiovascular... other than that one tiny correction the poem is nice n different..!
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I disagree, this is not choppy at all other than visually. It all links together perfectly and conjures up fantastic images in the readers mind. 10/10!
Take care, and good luck in the contest.
Hayley x x x -
"Bought and sold for a Holocaust Kiss.
Tethered and tarred to a Gentleman's boot. "
Wonderful metaphors. I love the unique style. Its a bit choppy but you paired the words together wonderfully. Excellent job.
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