Versed be the words
That spill from her -
Even in everyday speech.
My words are cursed,
They stumble and plummet
And sometimes stillness reaches it's summit,
And sometimes it kills me
To watch her,
To hear her laughter console them.
I only ever asked
To dance with the uppers, the chosen,
To match her enhanced, attention-grabbing hands
That heave me toward her,
That feel me adore her;
Pillar of grace - what a charming face.
Author notes
Hmm... I like the flow of this, but I'm not sure it achieved all that much by the end. I tried to make the woman in this seem wonderful at first, and then work up to showing that she isn't - that she has bewitched me into become obsessed with her *charming* face.
Written April 19th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
-
Aw, thanks for commenting! I'm glad you understood it better after reading my comment - I often have a hard time making it clear exactly what I'm trying to say in my poetry. Sometimes, when I look back on one of my poems, even *I* can't remember what they were supposed to be about unless I put little notes beneath them. ^-^ It's definitely something I need to keep working on.
Edited on May 10, 10:10 p.m. because 'cut out a stray word'. -
wow! i got that you were in love with her, and that she didnt feel the same way, but after reading your comment and rereading ur poem i understood what it was about. i liked the flow, good job!
Adding your comment: