First times for everything

Lights dim the closer I get to sanctuary
Feels like every step towards it pulls me further away
Words echo through my empty heart
Words said with the intention of guilt
Overwhelmed by the weight of the truth
Cracking under me, the streets of pain agree with my conclusions
This cannot go on
Doubt clouds my mind
Choices every way I look
This is not right for me
You are not right for me
Turn around for what feels the millionth time
Expecting to see a blocked path again
Instead, he is there
My path without doubt… the only thing I have ever been sure about in my life
For the first time I know what to do
It’s him I want
And he who wants me
I can never let this feeling go
For fear I may never again find it
For the first time in forever

I am happy