All I really wanted
Was to see her blood flow.
Tiny little veins
Beneath the flimsy glow.
I laid her down gently,
Once I'd hear the loud "crack".
I had to be sure that
She was not coming back.
She'll never know hatred,
She'll never know fear.
I cut it all short
In just her seventh year.
I can die happy,
Knowing I saved her soul.
She can have my spot,
Call it quality control.
I know this isn't right,
But is it that far off?
I truly wouldn't know,
I ask, you scoff.
I saw this all start,
But I couldn't let on,
For this terror and fear,
I had learned to feed on.
Just a young child,
I know it was still wrong.
If I had said what I'd meant,
It wouldn't have seemed so lifelong.
Like a bite from a zombie,
This sickness spreads fast.
You hurt other people,
Attempt to rise from your caste.
I held it in so long,
Relying on fantasies,
That it all became so real,
These sick brutalities.
You'll never find her body,
Bereft of every limb.
I stuffed them with my nightmares,
The only way to win.
Murder was not my main intent,
Only a panicked cover up.
Now that it's all over with,
My wrists I'll have to carve up.
Lookin' up high,
Lookin' down low,
Where she'll be found,
Only I know.
But not for long.
Author notes
This is from the point of view of a pedophile and killer.
Edited: 07/03/2006
Written April 17th, 2006
What did you think? Pros? Cons? What would you change?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This is an intese write. I like it in its own twisted way. I really don't know what to say to this.
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This is great. It kind of has a splash of twisted in it.
I liked:
"You'll never find her body,
Bereft of every limb.
I stuffed them with my nightmares,
The only way to win."
Good write! -
wow i really like this great job...im very interested in the psyche of killers so that made it very much better(not that u r actually a killer)
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No probelm. Just thought I would point that out, but even if you don't fix it, it is wonderfully written and one of the best!!
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Thank you so much for pointing that out, I hadn't noticed. I'll get working on that now. Thanks again! ^_^
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Good Job!
Sick, Well-written, and pretty friggin' entertaining. A job well done! -
Excellent
Interesting, I applaud your sucess on being able to captivate the mind of a pedophile and killer and convey that into this poem. I must admit it's a bit twisted and disurbing how well you described this character in the poem but it also shows your versatility as a writer.
Thanks for the read -
Fantastic
Wow. You really know how to capture the murder's point of view. I love how you say that they know it is wrong, but he/she still does it becasue they think that they are saving the little kid from worry and fear. Since this murderer knows its wrong, he hides her body so no one can find it but him.
I laid her down gently,
After snapping her neck.
I had to be sure that
she was not coming back
That is the only partt hat doesn't rhyme. I would maybe think of a way to make it rhyme, so it doesn't inturupt the flow of the poem for a second. If you don't it will still be Great!
-Megan, MK, Dark -
this was a very intense and very dark. but i cant help but wonder you insperation for this poem. its an excellent poem and i rarely give applause because i rarely find poems that i think are worthy...but this one is with out a doubt. wow wow and wow again. great job!
Ilame -
this could be lyrics if you found a chorus for it. You write good dark stuff, and this is such a perfect chain to break the bad dark poetry i have seen lately.
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Wow I think this is awesome as a horror write...I don't like the idea of killing kids or well anyone for that matter but hey I guess that is what makes it dark and scary
either way I think it's kickin' I simply must applaud this you have my repect, as a dark writer 
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this is a really deep, intense write.
not to sound sick, but at the begining it seemes like the only reason he did it was because he cared for the little girl.
She'll never know hatred,
She'll never know fear.
I cut it all short
In just her seventh year.
I can die happy,
Knowing I saved her soul.
She can have my spot,
Call it quality control.
like he wanted to save her from the cruelty of the world.
this is an amazing write and you have done a fabulous job doing the POV. great write
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