The Wait
Time moves so slowly
When you miss someone so bad
All is silent
And you stare at your phone.
Time just creeps along
When you want to hear his voice
He promised you
Yet the phone doesn't ring.
Time crawls to a stop
When you want him terribly
You know he lied
Yet you still check your phone.
Time has now ended
You missed him so much you called
He says hello
Smiling you love your phone.
Author notes
Written April 16th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 58 of 58
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What a charming little poem...I will admit that I do not wait for my phone to ring....just a tol in my world but I do have sisters that play the waiting game with bo's and you reminded me of how I would laugh,then comfort them over there on again off again relations. You approach your feeligs with a refreshing up beat tone in this piece. You write well.....thankyou for hearing my comments and I hope there are more to come.
~Spawn~ -
It is very good- point displayed well. Throughout life you come across many heartbreaks. It is a temporary feeling... Hang in there... keep writing. M.T.B.
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It was very good. I feel that some of the "phone parts" could be rewritten and make the poem even better. It is really good. Subtle but not to much so... thanks for sharing and remember there is no such thing as a perfect write. M.T.B.
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this poem is so sweet and wonderful!
The flow is a little off, but other than that it's awesome!
Good work!
Love,
becca -
Very Good
smiling widely, Sweet and funny -
Great
So hard to wait, oh yes it is. I wish he had called, but I am glad you did! Very good poem. Written very well. Great job. I really enjoyed it. -
god i hate wen ben...my b/f does that to me...lol...its like over the years you havent figured out i worry? or that i just cant stand to not hear from you...its like no its like *kicks butt* lol...j/k ^_^ very wonderful anticipation poem ^_^ it drew me in and reminded me to call my b/f back lmao it would have been me this time ^_~ anywayz wonderful write hun short and simple and very cute ^_^
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i am the same way when i get into a fight with jeff i swear i will not call him but i willw ait for him to call me...this is one of those times where i wrote this and called him, lol...i'm weak i know it. thank you for commenting!
ash -
I know this feeling all too well. It's especially bad when you're trying not to call him. When I've had an arguement with my boyfriend I swear to myself I'm going to wait until he calls me...sometimes I can wait, other times I give in and call him. You're right time does seem to drag on very slowly.
Very well penned, keep it up. -
Haha, that was cute. It said what most people are really feeling, but I think the flow could have been tweaked. Other than that, great poem!
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Wow, i have not read any of your works prior to this one and well, wow!. Just to leet you know...I think you have a new fan lol! really I love the imagery to this piece and can relate to it strongly, thankyou for sharing it with us
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I found this poem to be amusing. Gave me a little chuckle. How many hours did I wait for someone to call and lift my spirits. Ah
a truthful person - how refreshing. -
bravery in motion
when you wait too long,you loose. Kudos for taking the first step first -
real
a familiar situation... almost too familiar... great write
thank you -
yup I know where you are coming from. At least mobile phones mean we dont have to wait by the phone anymore. Thats one good thing
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Good job
I liked the beginning of this poem with the sadness of waiting for the call. Then when he doesn't call you give up an call yourself. It had me hoping that he would call. Really stimulated the imagination. In a relationship this can be a very emotional thing, waiting on a phone call from a mate. The ending was surperb, happy to hear his voice, I thought went well with the beginning. I'm glad you made it a happy ending. I like happy endings. Very well written. You told it like it is, reality. Keep up the good writes. -
Great and interesting
It was well written keep it up... lovely poem -
yup, i've been there before. nice write. i like your style and i enjoyed reading your poem.
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He says hello
Smiling you love your phone.<<very feminine description. It can open a discussion of the psychological aspect of the N's POV (point of view).
D
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Years back one wouldn't even think of calling some guy - that was his role to call you. Times have changed, haven't they? Liked this ending - takes us from gloom to happiness.
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geesh...how many of us have been through this... amazing in it's hoesty, and so true to life...keep on inking...peace shzoosy
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very good :)
i know this feeling well too and i am sure many others do as well - this is a fab write!
take care
xxx
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thank you so much!
ash -
boy do i ever know this feeling all too well. but you made it sound so much better than i ever could have. great write and i hope he calls you. come to think of it, i hope my 'him' that i do not have at this time, calls me. vilanger
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Lots Of Love in that
awww that is killer I have actually fell asleep beside the phone waiting for that special person to call (though they are no longer my special person) it is a really sweet poem you have got there it rocks. Lots of Love.
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I have done exactly what this poem is talkinga bout a few times.. good write i like it.
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Nice work on this. I enjoyed reading it
Keep it up!
~Pancake -
I love the way you ended that. Your whole poem was really wonderful, so I read it twice.
Great Job : ) *smiles* -
great poem
This is an awesome write...Keep up the good work...I can relate! -
Very well done
Like most other readers out there I can understand this, I done this...although I admit I done it only once, after that I went "Pffft, stuff this I'm going out" hehehe
But this is very good, it flows really well, there is a bit of sadness mixed with happiness at the end and it sticks to the truth throughout.
Excellent.
100/100 from me
Peace
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This is so true and you said it so very well, It is so hard waiting on that call!! I think you have struck a cord in many readers here, as I doubt there are many who haven't experienced this (girls and guys and vice versa) good job!
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I thought that was different...unique. It was kind of funny that the last line focuses on the emotion towards the phone. It does get the message across and it's realistic. I can just see the image of someone staring intently at their phone waiting for that one phone call. Good one.
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Good start, but it ended a little quick for me. I do understand the staring at the phone thing though. Haven't we all done this at one time or another.
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YOUR POEM is the BEST it is just what i needed to get over someone.
thanx -
Well written piece. I've made that wait a few times myself, and it can be an incredibly hard one to make.
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lol, this is so funny because sadly its very true...i like it =)
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excellent
Yeah this is an excellent piece of writing my friend,there's nothing worse than waiting and waiting,did that a few times i must admit,Anyway great writing,keep up the great work.Kenny -
Good Job!
Heh... cute. Interesting write, well done! -
This made me think of THOSE days, Not my proudest moments. Never waste your time waiting around for someone to call....I like the fact that she calls him at the end....
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interestingly good write .. in an amusing way .. good flow of words
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well spoken of love keep up the good work
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I think u r in love, Rick
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I really liked this..deff original and different. I think everyone can relate to this, lol. Awesome job and good luck with your man.
~Morbid[♥] -
brill
Oh wow, this is a really unique idea! Very unusual poem! really great write, keep it up! We all know how slowly time goes waiting unless you do something about it! Always speeds it up! Haylow x -
heheeh
"u love your phone" I LOVED THAT! It's true, time is so so so slow when ur waiting for your loved one to call, or reply, or...
THUMBS UP! -
i severyone writing about their loves during springbreak, lol anyways thank you for commenting!
ash -
thank you for the kind words!
ash -
I have read a few comments and ironically I can relate to this as well because the poem of mine you commented on was on the basis of the same thing,that I cannot see my girlfriend because I am on springbreak.Anywyas this was very good and enjoyable at the least,I liked how you kind of agve a setting of the mood and emotion.Great Job
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very good
i can relate - cor dam those guys! lol
this was very well written and the flow was good
take care
xxx
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oOo yeah, that makes sense. Well, good luck with your guy.
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pretty sure mine misses me but i don't really know. i thought about promoting it but i will wait a few days prolly to see who comes here on their own so i can reply to them or comment on one of their writes.
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lol, we're doomed. Do you think yours misses you? I keep wondering about that myself... lol I sure hope he does.
Did you think about promoting this poem?? I think you definately should.
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next monday, lol
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Are you serious? hahah, that's hilarious! When's your spring break over? Mine is over next Monday. Not tomorrow. Jee, I wish. lol
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wow how ironic i wrote this poem because i am on spring break and cannot see the one i love. thank you for the comment and applause!
ash -
Ahhh!! This poem is sooooo what I feel right now. We're on spring break, and I can't see the guy I like (I think he likes me back!
Anyway, This was an extraordinary poem. I like how you make us wait throughout the poem to reach the end. Wonderful job.
Take Care,
x PatientGrace x
Jasmine
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i always put the title in the poem part because it just feels right to me. it is how i write and how i read my poem actually...just a thing i always do. and i have the last line becuz you hate your phone for not ringing (which means you are mad at him) and then when you hear his voice even if you do call you love your phone (which means you love him once more) just a way of putting it i suppose. thanks for the comment!
ash -
ok... i got it and related to it until the last few lines... especially that last one. I know i certainly have done similar... missing someone and waiting and waiting... and waiting... just to talk to them... but... i never loved my computer or my phone for it. (usually my computer... IM's are much easier and cheaper in the long run)... anywho... rambling... but... i like it... but... why do you put the title in the poem part of it and also in the title section?
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