I remember I was
Beautiful once
The mirror reflected it
My eyes believed it
Long ago...
Before autumn leaves
Cluttered the hallways
And
Dust collected
On everything
Not covered in a white sheet
Just like death
Kept from view
A mourning?
A wake?
I’m not sure yet
Which it was
Or when (if it led)
To the colour fading
From the day
And the moon...
The moon From the night
A blank canvas
Now my soul
Just like eyes
before
The coins are placed
Paying the way
Into the afterlife
The closest perfection
In an imperfect world
And
I remember I was
Beautiful once
A frosted rose
Alone on a grave
In mind
Soul
And Body
Long ago...
Before the withered
Hands of time clutched
And I left it
Though I’m not sure
I ever really did..
Author notes
Ah I'm not sure completely if this was the sort of thing you were looking for but nonetheless...
partly inspired by a novel called Century
Image is a photo I took from the old cemetry that I played with...
anyways
Written April 16th, 2006
In a list
- Fragmented Gazes - {personal favourites} • next in list
- Favorites Written By Other Poets • next in list
A contest entry
- dear. we must eat the liver. sweet as june. we must. dear. by jaunty pill.
300 points, ended June 20, 2006, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 39 of 39
-
time is the most powerful thing in this world...and your poem is also very powerful....
-
This is awesome, Nell!! And at my age I can sure relate to it. Your poem gently overflows with thoughts on getting old, living and dieing ... and the beauty still within us all.
I haven't read your work in awhile and I'm glad I settled on this piece to become reaquinted with you and your work.
I can see why this is one of your favorites, now one of mine, too
Dee
-
Very sad. And I can understand the emotions in the poem. No one wants to age, because we know that with each year and decade that passes it means we are getting closer and closer to losing our youth and to death.
I take care of myself though and keep in mind that I will get older someday, but I don't let it hurt my view of myself, now or in the future.
I plan on doing all I can to hold back the clock, but not enough to look like Joan Rivers!
Time is a scary thing. I think all there is that we can do, is hold on for the ride and see where it goes. What other choice do we have?
Thanks for posting this.
much love,
James
-
Extremely Clap Worthy
I see you haven't lost your touch
Before autumn leaves
Cluttered the hallways
And
Dust collected
On everything
Not covered in a white sheet
Just like death
Kept from view
-
Wow.. Lost for words..
Beautifull, simply Beautifull..
The whole flow of imagery and expression is just an example of masterclass..
My Deepest Respect
Love
x
Evert {o!-} -
i've never read anything like this before! This is one of the best poems that i have ever read in my whole life!!! are you professional? if not you should be!!
-
I remember I was
Beautiful once
A frosted rose
Alone on a grave
In mind
Soul
And Body
This was my favourite stanza.
I like the form of the poem, the short lines speak to me as if the person was telling me them to my face.
Very well thought out piece.
A frosted rose, alone on a grave. Those two lines speak volumes. It provokes an emotive response and creates great imagery.
I really enjoyed this read.
Very thoughtfully penned
-
damn. i absolutely love it. you put your words together well. good jo
-
Very nice write you wrote here. Like the poem alot. Good luck in the contest.
-
this for me represented the depressive self very well, as for we think life is already over, never shore when the nightmare is going to be over, and as you questioned so well, A mourning? A wake? (im not sure if you meant this but this is what i saw as the sunrise) and as the yin and yang flows from one infinite to the other your lasting end sends the mind to a blessed dream....anyways nice flow and graces
-
Mourning or wake is a question that remains a secret to those alive answered only in the instant of death. But while we breathe some of us are capable of pondering in poetic metaphor the phenomenon of death. Wonderful write. Thank you for creating and sharing and good luck in the contest. Take care,
U
-
still lovely.
Yeah , So I read things a lot and come back...a lot. But this is , And I quote , Still one of my favs from you. How come more people don't let each piece settle and age like a fine wine? You seem to be very good at what you do. Letting a poem build and then come back in on itself.
But there again , I expect nothing less.
And you have just received the only comment I've given anyone ( Including fellow friends on here )in
a very long and silent time. Even if I am already familiar with this piece , It still deserves every bit of my attention and the attention of others.
Love ,
James
-
-
Hi James, thanks for taking the time to stop by to read (and comment)on this poem again, its pleasing to know that you still find it appealing and appreciate its form, depth and content.. it is my own personal favourite.
Oh really? i feels special lol
Have a wonderful day
Shanelle
(oh by the way your display picture in rather facinating) -
-
Funny that you should mention the display picture...It's from the movie " Pan's Labyrinth ". I loved it when I saw it in the theatre and love it still. I recommend seeing it if you get the chance. It's a great adult fantasy flick.
-
-
-
I loved the imagary! Nicely written!
rey
-
this is good, you get the feeling your seeing what is said.
"A frosted rose
Alone on a grave"
beautiful & prefect.
lovely poem, i hope you write more lyk this.
--Blessed be--
Dark Princess Vampire -
Beautiful imagery
The imagery in this poem was absolutely breath taking. To be honest, I was expecting the usual cheesy sort of "emo" poem about death, but this proved me very wrong. This had a very different, somewhat serene outlook on death. We know that it's inevitable, so go with it in beauty and grace. This is definately a masterpiece, I can tell you've been writing for some time. -
What a soulful write! Such dark and intriguing imagery..I was enthralled in every line ,every word spoke to me..Outstanding ~Pastel
-
-
Hi there Pastel, thank you for taking the time to comment, it is muchly appreciated.
Shanelle
-
-
very nice write!
" The moon From the night" why is the f capitalized?
Very intriguing. Not ENNTIERLY sure what it's about, but I have an idea. Somewhere along the lines of growing old and feelings about it. deffinatly a BEAUTIFUL write that you should be very proud of!
-
-
Hey there, thanks for taking your time to comment and as for the 'F' i really dont have a clue lol, thanks for pointing it out though... dont worry i dont really know what its entirely about and i wrote it heh,
Have a great day
Shanelle
-
-
Beautifull
Simply Beautifull
I love it
More, please !
-
How can it be beautiful once?
Has Nell encountered a big dunce?
Who only seeks Nell to control?
I wish I had words to cajole.
However everyone seeks change
Often times things need rearrange-
Ing to let the beauty escape
Bring it from underneath the cape
Where it's been hidden by Shanell
Now do joyously ring your bell
That bell that is holding the siv
That Nell sifts out with things to give
To others on the girth of earth
Please do fill most others with mirth.
You can bring it from where it's stowed
The anger all have must be mowed
Release with gladness of your smile
Share it with others - every mile. -
This is just lovely.
-
I was reminded of a walk through a cemetary and reflecting upon some of the markers and inscriptions...solitary flowers on graves, and unheard voices of the occupants (not in a creepy way), just as in that everyone "was beautiful once' Quite a write and I am glad I stopped to return the favour. Best wishes in the contest that this is in,
reenie
-
memories of those departed within this lifetime...
found on a gravestone and the photographs of people in days past...
will they be remembered?
they are if they are kept within one's heart!
Well said and well done my friend!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill -
You have woven a truly great image here...masterful choice of wording! I will certainly be reading more from your pen!
-
Made me think
It made me think, about a subject I often wonder, as you grow old, and your body is weak and wheathered, do you still feel like that 20 year old inside, trapped by age. how frustrating it must be. I really like the way you have written this poem and I hope my interpratation is correct. I will read more and give comments. Please return the favour and visit my page,
I would respect your views on my poem and value any comments, thankyou Pam
-
What a wonerfull portrayal
It's flow as river and words inside the words
Make me feel the pleasure of being in an imaginative world
I even wonder how these words were made to make us dream
Parting unwillfull from such a poem
As though I am missing the soul of my lovables
Still I have to go on through my life's journey
Yet with your words that possesed me
Goodluck Goodbye and Let gooddays be with us till we become sand................
-
It's like a cycle of life here
Blind belief of youth, leading to doubt, leading to partial
belief once more.
We assume we know everything when we are young and learn how wrong we are as we age.
They say the mirror never lies, but unfortunatly we can influence what we see by our beliefs and denials.
Hugs...Eddy -
Beautiful words and put together magically,as always nell.
Edited on Jun 01, 10:02 because ''. -
I wouldn't say that taking more than five minutes is a bad thing, but I can understand where you're coming from, when you say that if you take too long you'll lose the idea.
When I write, the poem usually takes anywhere from an hour to all day. It all depends on which poem it is, how long it was originally if I am editing an older poem, which I am more often than not and if I am feeling remotely poetic that day.
I'm glad to see that you were receptive to my critique, but I wouldn't have expected you to act any other way. You've always been graceful when it comes to getting advice.
Thank you for taking the time to enter my contest and have a wonderful afternoon.
much love,
James
-
Hey there James, thanks for taking the time to read and comment, I appreciate it
As for the whole capitalization thing, I do it in all of my poems (not good at the whole puncuation thing, but I use to be worse, every line use to have a comma after it lol)
I am glad that you like some of the lines and imagery in this poem and were able to draw from it the conclusion I was trying to put across.
heh this one wasn't so effortless, usually all my poems are written under five minutes (otherwise I lose the thought and emotion and end up scrapping it) but with this one it took me two (yes two) days but I am very fond of it.
Anyways thanks again, good luck with your contest.
Have fun and a great day.
Shanelle. -
- To be honest , I am on the fence with
The use of capitalization throughout? It might
Be because in this contest I have mentioned
It to several people that the poem/s do not
Call for it or need it exactly…But here , Well ,
I just can’t say if it helped or not. There were
Moments where I was utterly blown away by
The work and there were also times that I only
Saw the punctuation looming out at me like
An eyesore. I guess you’ll have to make the
Decision whether to keep it or scratch. I hate
When I am unsure. Bothers me…LOL.
And that is the one critical thing I can muster.
I know. I know…Usually I have more to say ,
But I like this , As I have come to expect from
Your work. There is no use on being critical
Just for critical sake…So , Onward it is.
The second stanza after “ long ago “ , Took
My breath away. The way you worded it and
Then followed up with the “ white sheet like
Death “imagery , It gave me goose bumps.
Indeed your poem is personal and confessional.
Some of my favorite writers on this site and
Published are indeed confessional. There is
Something about a person who can get inside
An emotion and make it the best of their
Ability. That is what you have done , That is
What you always do. You are able to get inside
My skin and make the words , The impact ,
The emotions…All so powerful. It could be
Because your work shows an almost effortless
Impact. As though it came so easy to you and
The words just slid upon the paper. I would be
Lying if I said your format does not make the
Poem more unforgiving , Because it does.
I have grown accustomed to your form and
Over time , It always is apparent when I am
Reading a nell poem. There are not many
Poets that I enjoy that write in this nature ,
So that is a compliment I guess in and of
Itself.
And then you have the “ frosted rose “
Stanza…Which is unflinching and calculated.
I admired how the quality of the poem ties
In to the stanza before the end as well.
You hint at elements of departure , Death ,
Beauty and then , By the end , You announce
That it all could have never happened. How
Effortless sometimes you make poetry feel.
I am so glad that I was able to comment
On you again and I do hope that everything
Is alright.
All the best and thanks for entering my
Contest ,
James
-
lovely
wow, this is quite the poem. i liked the format; it was very visually pleasing. as for the topic, i was drawn in by your words, but i suppose it was the ending that got me the most. a very nice poem, my dear. best of luck to you in this contest; i am sure you will do well. -
Nell, would never have found you but for this contest. On first reading of this poem I am moved by your choice of words. I really feel the same way. Wonderful poem!
-
You're welcome.
~Amanda~ -
Thanks Amanda, Happy Easter to you too.
Shanelle -
This is very good. I loved the word and imagery in this poem. All in all I think it's wonderful and love it. By the way Happy Easter.
~Amanda~
Adding your comment:
1 - 39 of 39
