With every teardrop, I lose a part
Of my already weary soul
Each breath I now breathe, through my bleeding heart
My life becomes a spiral
Dreams turning into pitch black tomorrows
Where shadows haunt, with clouds of gray
As memories melt into deep sorrows
Reflections how I am today
Faded glances of light, now null and void
Whispers so faint, my ears can't hear
My existence of love was destroyed
Following this path to nowhere
Author notes
The only way I could be any lower, if I was under ground. But as always, penning it out helps, and I would appreciate it if you just took it as that. A piece from a hurting heart!
Written April 14th, 2006
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an emotive write, the emotions making it powerful. Flow and imagery contribute to the darkness and sorrow. I can see how the pen would weep writing such a piece.
That said, I hope that expressing emotions by pen helps to not keep them bottled up inside, where they do so much damage.
I commend you for writing this poem, its obviously a tough subject and candidly written. Perhaps that will lead to healing.
~thoughts and healing wishes to you and yours~ ~pf -
Excellent!
An amazing penned piece from the heart and soul, you weave so well daddio~ Keep these words flowing, much love, lil Tim~ -
Great Job
i liked this thanks for sharing you are very talented..!! -
You know something I like about you, is you're unique, and always are so uplifting. My son was right about you, even though he does not spend a lot of time on ap, he told me you were cool!
And don't ever be afraid to pen your heart, your doubts, and your fears, or sorrows...We are created after His own image, so therefore, He knows what you're feeling and thinking before you say or write it down. Why try and be a man pleaser, when you could never be accepted by them totally anyway..Let us love one another, and show the gifts within us He has given us, but I remember, He created us, and the tear ducks and emotions for a reason..and then on a spiritual note, you and I know more, because we have been down the pathway of sorrows. though our faith may wavier, we can admit it, and call upon him, and move on...No shame, no gain....lol..I just made that up..lol>
anywhos, this has very little to do with this write, but who cares..lol..This has something to do with your previous piece you've penned..
I love ya my friend, peace, and take care, and thanks so much for your support, I appreciate you!
-Timothy
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This is where the beauty of pain comes from. Your words are lovely as they describe the suffering you are going through. Sometimes we just have to allow our tears to flow. Good luck and take care, my friend. Hugs, Patricia ♥
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The only way to go from down is up my friend.. Trust me I have tasted broken.. And you with your sweetness and friendly manner? Will never get that far. Your friends won't let you.. You are surrounded by so many that wish you well like I was that the gloom won't shadow you for long.. Trust in them and trust in you.. Love will follow.. Take care sweet poet, Catressa aka The Other Southern Belle
Edited on Apr 16, 2:54 because 'ya don't really wanna know'. -
With each fallen tear
And all the hurt inside
Know I am always near
For my love will never hide
When you are down
And just need a friend
Just take a look around
For my love has no end
I am always here for you hun, never forget that.
Much love always
Tammy
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Wow! I really really like this. It kinda means something to me since I can personalise with it pretty well. You give of the feeling of gloominess and depressingness really well. I always love poems full of metephores and I always find it easier to read rhyming poems too (dont know why). But usually rhyming makes a poem more happy and ruins it if you wanted the poem to be sad and depressing like this one. But you seemed to have pulled it off quite well and I have no idea how you have done it. I also like the font and the background. The whole representation of it is really good! I'm not supprised you are on the most applauded page. Well done! I think you did a really good job on in!
xxx lizzy xxx -
I hope you feel better, Timothy...Keep writing, my Friend...it does help... Wanda
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excellent
Very nice, another one just as good as always, -
This is beautiful. As always you did such a graceful and wonderful job with this. I am sorry that it came from such a sad heart though. I hope that all is well and that you are ok. I'm here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on though. Much love,
Veronica -
Timothy...
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Not certain this is politically correct...but such a beautifully sad piece...My heart goes out to you in your time of feeling such lonliness and emptiness...realize that the one you've lost is because they are not the one you are meant to be with. Each day is a struggle, yet each tomorrow offers such limitless possibilities...hang in there...this too shall pass...keep up the great work, many many blessings to you.
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Loved the title of this piece. I'm going to have to do something with fonts on my puter because I had a hard time reading this piece.
~Dee -
This is so beautiful! I know that when you feel extremely low and are down, remember that the only place left to go is straight up. Excellent write Peace, Angelus
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Sweet brother mine, I can so sympathize and empathize with your sadness and sorrow Please know that shoud you need anything at all, I am but a click or a heartbeat away; you've been there for me...let me now be there for you! I love you dearly, sweetie!
Always and forever,
Sandy -
my clouds are black and ready to spit out lightning looking at lightning it is a symbol of the light in an evil world love this write any way some times i just go off in difernt directions but that is me keep writing
love the papa -
Hi my dear friend, we all have moments when we want to stop the world and get off,so I know how you feel, it's a very good write, great flow and feel, a very special hug, we could get smashed together,lol, Di
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from your heart to the keyboard to this page. Let your heart pour forth. It's time to heal and go through the process of solace & closure. I wish I could take the pain away from such a poetic love as you. In my profession this time is a great time of Growth and they definitely call it "growing pains" for a reason. Your talented to be able to write through this process. This was painfully beautiful.
Affectionately,
Carissa
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There are always choices, even if it seems we have no choice in what we recieve. The pain and hurt that comes from expectations not being met and dreams turned to dust is a natural part of who we are. How we rise to greet this pain and what we do after we have felt it defines who we are.
You have precisely defined the size of your grief and poetically brought us in to feel what you are feeling. You have done this stunning well. You are on a path to nowhere at this moment. When does this change? For life goes on from sunny day to rainy day and back again. Your words are to strong and an inner creativity and brilliance to well displayed for me to believe that you allow your self to live at the effect of the universe. I look forward to hearing the inner you roar and take back your domain from those who would wish to silence your light. Love, Tom B. -
good imagery. very emotional. keep up the good work.
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Oh yes, a piece from a hurting heart - this comes through loud and clear, we feel the pain and the hurt so well in these lines - you have expressed your sentiments very well, easy to read and understand. Keep writing, and maybe the feelings will lighten up a bit. Hope so.
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i like it. I especially like the title. TRhe first verse got me confused because of the ryhmeing after that verse but i really liked it. Showed emtion NAND it was wreally good.
kelly lin
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Painful read
Dear Brother,
Sorry your sadness is so deep.
I pray your bottom is not much
deeper as you have endured much
heartache. If you need to talk. just call
I love your poetry, and your penning is so good
But this one worries even me !!!
I love you,
~tom
*hugs*, *cries*
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I dont agree with wandika. Time doesnt heal it just highlights how long youve been hurting. The healing comes from within. A change of pespective or perseption needs to take place before you can heal.I hope that happens soon. x
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With every teardrop, I lose apart (did you mean "a part"?)
Of my already weary soul
Each breath I now breathe, through my bleeding heart
My life becomes a spiral <<through my bleeding heart my life becomes a spiral, sounds exciting...but unnecessarily abstract. You have mixed a real image with an abstract image, which should be avoided as much as possible.
Overall a nice idea.
D
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very nice!
wow, that was so sad, so much emotion coes through in your writing. i love how this was phrased, it flowed very nicely and the word choice created such vivid imagery. i'm so sorry for your pain, especially as i feel as if it is similar to some of my own since i wrote a piece like this a couple of days ago. anyway, great job on this, i'm glad that writing helps you too to express your pain. may your heart heal quickly
~love-music-darkness -
This is so sad. But it is so beautiful. It like, reached down inside of me, and somehow, i could almost feel your pai. Well, it was very very well-written. And I must applaud!!
~*~ Danielle ~*~ -
touching and deep write .. expressing thoughts of despair and depression .. in vivid words
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This poem is overflowing with emotion. You are blessed with a gift with words. Very effective written work. It touches me.
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beautifully sad... a soul crying.. you have some wonderful friends here and that is a huge love coming your way. You are low so lie there and look at the stars.. and draw in their energy. You are an important part of this universe and are needed much more than you know. Sending love xxxxx
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that hits so close to home it's scary. Nice job.
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a very sad write from you timothy. you have about made me cry here this morning. i do not like hte thought that you are having a difficult time as i love you so much. one of the best brothers a gal could have. v
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this is beautiful... but very sad.. i hope you feel better soon
all my love and tender hugs
jezza -
it's a very dark place you visit, my hopes are that the stay isn't long...I've been there myself, and your words make me recall those darker times...nicely penned. One suggestion...apart s/b a part??
Very enjoyable read (if one can truly find enjoyment in something dark like this).
Rory -
Timothy, I am worried about you. I understand a broken heart but time generally heals all. In your case you have been hurting a very long time so this is troublesome. I also understand how writing helps and I occasionally have a low day and my writes reflect this. Yours are consistent. You may need to consider professional help to recover from this loss. Depression is nothing minuscule. It is a serious disease where brain chemistry is out of balance. Please just consider this and that you have all of us who do love you and your poetry as a support group. Your poetry is spectacular and you capture many of our hearts with your writes. I hope you don’t think unkindly in my butting in here but I am concerned.
Your friend,
Jim
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You sound so much like myself. I release all my hurt, anger, and pain through my writing. I do it because I usually don't speak my mind for fear of hurting someones feelings. I think you wrote this well and deserve an applause!
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What a lovely poem..really sad to say the least. Wanted to suggest the changes but see it already has. Well done, I really like it.
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Good job
You seem to be still numb with hurt- there is so much darkness spilling from your pen.It appears that in the first line you intended to say "... to lose a part" and in the last line "following this path to nowhere" I might be wrong though. The poem conveyed the sense of despair and doom quite accurately. I am sure you must have felt cathartic after having written down the feelings. The title is more sentimental than the poem but it still works. Good job. Do not let your pen stop. -
Hello Poetic weaver,I truly know how you feel having been on the point of suicide numerous times.My friend suggested to me that I should imagine my thoughts as a story in a book. Decide to close the book and watch yourself put it back on the shelf, saying ,that's enough reading for today.Each time you find yourself reading it, mull it over in your mind and then once again close it and replace it on the shelf.
On a different note, some of the best poems are produced whilst we are sad and lonely. This one is no exception.well done and keep going you will make it. Val.
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i loved this... it is beautiful.. hauntingly sad.. but still very beautiful... nice rhyme.. though sometimes it didnt always work... maybe its my lil british accent lol..
im glad writing about it helped im so sorry tha t you are hurtin weaver.. but keep writing.. keep healing..
a heart wrenching piece straight from your heart
a very good write
jess -
I wish I had a way to make your heart stop hearting, to see your heart breaking, breaks mine in turn....but its funny how you feel, is how I feel most days, and you express your feelings so much better than I can. Sad but wonderfully written.
Love you
~Carrie
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