A Vampires Dawn
Will the hunter in the night,
again see the golden light?
The suns's distant magnificent rays,
the beauty of long -forgotten days?
For what is immortality,
when light only means fatality,
ho,lord,I can only guess,
why am I doomed to this fate of darkness,
this nightmare relm of mist and haze,
upon which,with unnatural eyes I gaze.
Is there no way that I could be saved?
live with out the substance I once so craved,
the intoxicating essence of life,
that I must now take with such pain and strife
can I ever go back to that innocence?
to those blissful days of ignorance?
oh,strange,that I who once so adored,
this mysterious life,now implored,
it would be taken away,I granted my freedom,
to go back to that place that now seems like a dream.
This suffering I cause,because of my hunger,
I cannot bear it any longer,
ironic it is ,begging on my knees,
to become a mortal,please oh please!
Ah, but my self I must deceive,
to ever think I could peacefully leave.
Is death the only way out of this hell?
Or there will I forever dwell?
How strange to be mysteriously drawn,
to the light that could kill me the beautiful dawn.
But is death not glorious,as i have been taught?
Though it was a lesson I have desperately fought.
I look now with hope shining in my eyes,
that perhaps,at my death, my soul may rise.
Maby I will find my true peace at last,
and leave behind the shadows of my past.
And I realize I've seen this in my dreams.
The moment the light over me streams,
and I feel its warm ,loving touch on my skin,
as it washes from me all of my terrible sin.
Gazing longly at the lightning sky,
I sit here now and I wait to die.
Author notes
NOTE: I DID NOT MAKE THIS MY COUSIN (KAGOME) MADE THIS AND SHE DISERVES ALL CREDIT BESIDES IT DESERVED TO MAKE A DENT IN THE WORLD.
~LOVE LIKE BLOOD/KIKIYO
Ok written for option 2 it losly skims it but it could still work for the enemy is within him self.
Blueberry vampire
Written April 13th, 2006
A contest entry
- Vampire, blood, romance... Prewrites allowed! by blood tourniquet.
450 points, ended March 18, 2007, 24 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All Time Favorite! by Mezclita.
600 points, ended October 13, 2007, 40 entries
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375 points, ended October 16, 2007, 30 entries
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1400 points, ended February 23, 2008, 29 entries
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360 points, ended April 17, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Another Darkwrite Challenge by Ktulu Blackwolfe.
450 points, ended April 8, 2008, 22 entries
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464 points, ended May 13, 2008, 12 entries
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300 points, ended June 4, 2008, 14 entries
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3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1705 entries
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550 points, ended June 16, 2008, 92 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Thank you for the entry and I'm sorry it took so log for me to comment, lol, I thought I had
.
anyways its a wonderfully written poem
Good luck!
'Wolf
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wonderful write love, even though you did not write it is still beautiful... some grammar errors but good...it wouldve been better if it was yours..
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Not bad, but ...
it's not a villanelle. Sorry. You'll have to find another contest.
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Cool**
Very nicely written, I like it..
Would you mind taking a look at mine,
in this contest?
let me know what you think?
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This is well done. I like this. Thank you for the entry and good luck to you.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
o.k. first off I LOVE THE BACKGROUND, it adds more of an image and a great effect on the reader. I'm not too fond of vampire stuff, it's a little far off, kinda weird and far fetched, great rhyme scheme, good depictions(Great imagery), nice details, definately unique, fav lines are "Can I ever go back to that innocence, to those blissful days of ignorance" Definately interesting thoughts, I thought the ending was a little weak, but still a good poem. It's not quite what I was o.k.
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I loved the flow,
the imagery, the intense
emotion and the over-all feel
of despairing darkness.
Very well crafted!
love it!
~Pastel
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Wow, this is really good! I espeicially love this stanza:
Ah, but my self I must deceive,
to ever think I could peacefully leave.
Is death the only way out of this hell?
Or there will I forever dwell?
Kagome did a really good job!
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Thanks for this entry.
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yes it's beautiful... when things turn upside down to the point where what's feeding u is killing u then u have to stop and think to save yourself before u really die in an enternal hell all caused by u... i think although this is a vampire's submission... it's one of every human admitting to his or her terrible mistakes and paying the price in hopes of a brighter future... tell your cousin i much liked it and thank u 4 putting it into this contest 4 him (her?) <3 Alex
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“to those blissful days of ignorance” I found this line to be quite profound, it brought me many images of my own past as well as imagining the authors. I like vampire poems because I can transmit the words into different meanings in everyday life as well. Nicely penned
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~Many scarlet kisses and bites~
Bravo bravo! It had me enraptured from the very beginning. I did not find anything wrong with this piece. I simply adored it! I couldnt wait to find out what was going to happen and yet, I didnt want it to end.
It has been awhile I read so intently. Thank you both for a wonderous read!
Lady Blue~
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...wow
i am just absolutely amazed at this poem...this is the style that i can only wish to write like...i'm for the most part left speechless...
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OH...MY....!!
Wow!!! I loved the rhyming, the words, the emotion...
I've never ever read a poem like this. Vampires mostly surrender to their lust, but in this story, the vampire doesn't want to hurt others...
Just perfect for me to fall in love with
I cannot say more, I just loved the whole story.
Please tell your cousin that she is extremely talented!!
Thank you so much for entering and good luck!
Blessed Be
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Speechless... you got great talent for a vampyres thoughts. Kudos to you!
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wow ... what more is there to say ... this is very good and i love it ... i would be happy if you could return the favor but you dont have to
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Well good job to your cousin then, this was excellently penned. Vampyres are a favorite subject of mine as you might guess. Goof rhythm, good rhyme, good imagery, and a nice inner monologue narrative throughout. Though you may not have written if you have good taste. I'm off to look into some of YOUR work now. Wish I had an applause left I'd have given it one.
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wow ish is amazed this is the besy poem Ive read so far you are very good! I hope you find more insperation ^.^ keep up the good work well bye >_<
~ish ^.^ -
This is beautifully written. It's tough writing a poem but even harder to make it rhyme so naturally. This is really a great write. I hope you continue writing, so I can continue reading your wonderful work. You're very talented, keep the ink flowing... or the keyboard clicking.
-Vicky -
Well done.
There are a few spelling/grammatical errors and the flow is a bit awkward in places, like I said before;
"IT's a lovely poem! I happen to be very fond of poems about vampires. It's dark and emotional and the rhyme scheme is very nice...the flow is a bit edgy but other than that it's a lovely piece. Nicely done!"
This is just the sort of thing I've been waiting to read. You'll do well in the contest. Keep quilling! -
stunning
you have to write more.... more damnit do you hear, more i say
loved this, what i liked most is the regret you showed in attaining immortality and then realising that it isnt as wonderful as was thought -
This is an awesome poem, dark poem. I love it, wow.
*Fairy* -
omgosh , didnt kno u wrote like this, waaay cool
i give u props for ur amazing word choice and pattern cya later -
This is so beautiful! I love the ending SO much! The essence of this poem is so strong, and I love Vampires so this was an awesome poem. ^_^ You're very talented. Please be safe, and God bless you.
~
~ Courtney ~ ~
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IT's a lovely poem! I happen to be very fond of poems about vampires. It's dark and emotional and the rhyme scheme is very nice...the flow is a bit edgy but other than that it's a lovely piece. Nicely done!
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thanx u thistle i was wondering when mycousins poem would effect people.I amatthe moment in factwriting a story revolving around this poem called tears of blood.Sadly enough it is on a computer that is in need of repair.So im restarting it and making it better.It is currently on fanfiction.net under Dracula. thank you for the comment. but i diserve nothing my cousin though you should give her the clapping applause.
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Nicely done dark poem. The tone is consistent with your poems topic. I like the way it gives the reader a view into the thoughts and feelings of something feared. Nicely done and Welcome to Allpoetry
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