Every time I touch the hilt,
My heart fills with well known guilt,
The shame I hide inside,
Every time I find, someone dies
And so I pull my sword unknowing why
But some day I'll die
And then I'll stop living this lie
Author notes
For the samurais...
Written April 13th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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Interesting. Your ryhme sceme seemed odd to me. To rhmey. Lol. Sorry. But yeah. Makes me think though... I like anime!
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Good write, very Ninja-like xD
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:o
wow... it sounds awesome! ma fave part?
i dnno.... everything! its so short and to thwe point, yet it really makes u think... i dunno but 'tis awesome..
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good
this is a great write lol and i think ur poems are better than minelol but ..... are they ? lol great job!
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i like it
its very well written and insightful.
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... What's to say
This is very good/great/wonderful. I just don't know what to say.
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wow
wow greast write...keep it up you have got some real tallent, when you write its like painting a perfect picture... keep it up
Krissy -
unique and nice rhyming!
Keep penning!
Lynda
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Short, but deep, intrigueing and magical in its morbidness, nicely done!
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so powerful and expressive in such a short poem - i like that..... samurais... wonderful topic choice I think you did a good job with this write. Keep up the good work!! Dragonfly
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Oh My Goodness
Thats a really deep poem. so what all were you feeling when you wrote that?
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The Heart of a Samurais
Very introspective, and has gives alot of thought provoking questions to the reader. You realize your own immortality, and death will come to you one day.You have the mind of the samurais,those who are courageous,yet all the while knowing, their day will come.There is compassion in this heart of the samurais, which never to me seems to be present when I have seen them on the television..It is an order of the Japanese swordsmen like the Gladiators of Rome...I am deeply touched with him exposing the mind of this samurais...Immortality,compassion,It has an impact on the reader..Factual reality,but a sadness also...for every life is a life, and he is portrayed as most kind...and most realistic....Wonderful write!
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Another Amazing write, You took the hardest thing to ever do, short words, different topic and still made it meaning ful and powerful., Wonderful job. Thank you for sharing and I truly hope you keep the pen flowing! ~~~~~~~~~~~~Always~~~~~~~~~~Emily
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really good i love the way you write escrioto i don't think u how good you writekeep penning to get a habit
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Well written and excellent use of diction
I can't help but feel, though, that the rhythm staggered slightly, especially between the two middle lines. Then again, who am I to judge.
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FANTASTICAL
Emtional and fantastic. I really loved it. I applaud you greatly. Some the biggest and best gifts come in small packages....
Brooklyn -
nice poem i liked it
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very good! i like it! nice flow!
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*squirms in gut-wrenching sadness* Very nice poem, I think I'll go cry now
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dark, powerful, got me right at the heart, ouch. i could feal the pain and rage in this...great right, it was short, but good. -MK
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7-10
Short and to the point, I like it. It's simple, yet powerful. -
this is vey good ...i liked it alot. anyway every one has a lie or two hidden in their closet somewhere and i think that this poem greatly expresses that......at least thats how i interpret it........
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this is vey good ...i liked it alot. anyway every one has a lie or two hidden in their closet somewhere and i think that this poem greatly expresses that......at least thats how i interpret it........
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awesome
i really liked it. It had great emotion and depth. -
wow this is a great poem which I hd points to applause so I'll have to do it tomorrow
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That was great. I felt the guilt. I love short and meaningful poems.
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So short yet so great/ The flow of this piece was great, and it seemed easy to keep in line because the writing is so short. You have done an amazing job with expressing the meaning to this yet I feel there's something more you could have done with this. But oh well. This was amazing! Great job
<3
JiGgLeZ -
hiya!
I think this piece is great because it's so short and crisp...it wouldn't have been so strong and brought out the message so clearly otherwise..you bring out your thoughts with amazing clarity
Simple and crystal clear!
ria-k -
this is also a great poem...the lines flow very well!
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this is powerful. even tho its short. something tells me that u could keep going on this one.. but dont push it or force feelings. i like it
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awsome!!!!!!!!!!11
well thanks for applauding my poem I think this poem is awsome only that it is small -
beutiful and poetic
very honorable the way you wrote this
~~WB -
I loved it man, fit together well, and got good meaning behind it as well, great write man, great write
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interesting, pretty cool how the swordsman is haunted everything he draws his sword by his guilt, great idea dude, keep on penning!
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great poem. the emotion was spot on. this was a little short though, not to say that it is a bad thing, it would have flowed better with more lines. overall it was a great poem very entertaining.
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I like the message that you are putting across with feelings. The only bad thing that I can say about this write is that the rhyming seemed a little falsed. On the whole this wasn't a bad write. Well done on this write, Keep up the good work
Dawn -
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Unfortunately in this world our paths unintentionally or by fate lead us to uncomfortable situations and even livlihoods. A blessing would be to survive long enough to ammend the error. Thanks for the thoughts and words.
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