Cinders in the fireplace,
Face as black as coal,
Eye's a little blurry,
no pupils, for no soul.
Dress torn to rags,
split down one side,
Little bloodied fingers,
her time does she bide.
No heart, but a hole,
an empty cavity inside,
never in a fairytale
will she make a bride.
The ball was being set up,
her sisters all a glee,
Her stepmother doting on them,
not a penny goes to she.
The sisters set to go,
but a spell she weaves,
Puts a poison in their drinks,
Not a one will leave,
She casts a spell to make a dress,
some mice into some men,
A pumpkin into a carriage,
Will this witchery ever end?
Climbs aboard and off she sets,
Marriage in her mind,
her step family no longer there
Cinders no more to be confined
She arrives with handsome grace,
The prince awaiting her,
whispers of this dainty lass,
she's created quite a stir,
he looks into her soulless eyes
and shudders with dismay
such a pretty woman
the devil in her way
He takes her hand they start to dance,
into the gardens glow,
She takes the knife from her garter,
the blood begins to flow,
her prince is dead, no more she feels
her mission done, she turns to dust
this is what you will get,
when the devil is your lust.
this is the story of Cinderella
the true one, not the tale,
when the devil catches hold of you
you know you cannot fail.
Don't get us wrong, she loved this prince,
but her desire was to much,
she killed so he was eternally hers,
because of the sin called lust.
Author notes
'i'll make you up so beautiful'
by burdened
Written April 13th, 2006
A contest entry
- Fairy Tale Terror by Gossamer Guile.
600 points, ended August 29, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lovely Eternities Are For FairyTale Princesses.♥ by WishMeAway--x.
750 points, ended October 12, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I WANT YOUR PRE-WRITES THAT HAVE A HM TROPHY by esroddo.
475 points, ended October 2, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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What a wonderful and intriguing tale well enjoyed. you had my intested all till the end thanks for entering
LISA
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Wow. I now have about three Cinderella tales in my contest, and each one is so different than the other. This one in particular catches my attention. Cinderella possessed.... A VERY intriguing take on the story. Who needs a fairy godmother if you have the devil on your side? I am quite eager to see if I'll obtain a poem describing the chaos that follows this mass murder scene... Amazing write. Great job.
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Great!
Thank you for entering and the best of luck goes to you!
Mwah
Lullaby.x.
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Scary. And very cool.
This version is so much better!
Who needs Happily Ever After when you can have murder and treachery
X
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wow. very powerful. i've only heard one other cinderella story like this one...well, the prince was the bad guy. I love the image you portrayed and how it was all lust. Good write and good luck
~poison -
yay lol funny
I prefer this version of the cinderella story, it's much more amusing. -
Congratuations
Merry meet,
Congratulations on winning the Bronze. I was just astounded at this piece. It has many rich layers and textures to it. Just incredible. Again, Congratulations.
Amythest -
excellent! the perfect example of what i wanted!
well done, thanks for entering and goodluck!
melpomene
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Cool
That is great. Apart from some spelling errors really great write. -
wow once again abnother amazing peice and i wuld love to see ur one for other ones espeacially three little pigs tht wuld b quite amusing lol well i do look forward to reading more of ur work well done
death-life-no-diff -
aaaw! thanks!
you are really sweet, thanks for applauding! I really appreciate it!! 
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great... again :Þ
no pupils, for no soul.
i love that line
the day i read a poem by you that i do not think is great... i won't go on because that day won't come
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love this my mother used to tell me that i was heartless and you are to believe your mother so i thought i was not untill years after she died and saw the ultra sound of a thing beating so i said what was that my heart. she said yes i said my mother was a lier... keep writing well
love the papa -
well you did a good job!!
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thanks! we just tried to interpret it and tell it differently, with a twist!
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I do dare to enjoy. I really did enjoy it. it is a strange way of telling a fairy tale...the lust part reminds me of the seven sins...good job! very original!!
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