A cloudy day has dawned with rays
of red and gold, the sun ablaze
above the silhouette of hills.
Through vapour mountains sunlight spills
to touch the land with heaven's gaze.
Such beauty as the world displays
may touch the spirit or amaze,
but heavy hearts perceive no thrills -
a cloudy day.
The sights the troubled mind surveys
are coloured with its own malaise;
its discontent with being stills
all wonder, timeworn passion chills
and names the morning others praise
a cloudy day.
Author notes
maa, thank you again for hosting this lovely contest.
Sometimes, it seems you just get through the night and it's morning again.
"that horrid dawn without dawn's blushing beauty."
a Rondeau - aabba aabR aabbaR (R refrain from the first line)
Written April 12th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Unconditioned Awareness by maa.
999 points, ended September 3, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SILVER TO GOLD - FOR PARTICIPANTS OF ONE OF MY FORMER CONTESTS by maa.
656 points, ended August 14, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 58 of 58
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Oh My~
You have weaved a Beauty and I smile when I experience a cloudy day for Your words painted tranquility even under genre: sad-
for I imagined how there are stressors of Life-
that weigh heavy on the Heart-Spirit but a cloudy day distracts from the event and entices to look up where even the elements get overshadowed yet the sun finds a way to peek through
Love this!!
Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love & light~ Desire~*~
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Thank you, sweetie, I'm happy you like this.
Many blessings to you!
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it's amazing how synchronicity works ... I was just thinking about the relativity of what we call the world, and that I am unable to rejoice in the beauty and bliss of the present moment and its content, if I'm lost in the mind, and even less when I'm drowning in negativity ... we're invited to visit one of the old billionaire cousins of my husband in a few days, and I was wondering if the sunset watched from his luxury property looks the same as the one a homeless person watches on the beach ...
well, I could go on and on, obviously your poem inspires me ...
thank you so much for bringing it into light again,
maa
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welcome back, margaret !
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Love the form and the observation within. Quite clear to me as I have probably had too many days not appreciating what was there before me to see...rather I would dwell on the one cloud before me. Blue
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Thank you Blue, I loved yours too.
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perfect !
an exquisit demonstration of our usual functioning and of the consequences of our conditioned mind projected on "the world" ...
excellent ...
maa
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This is reality. Beauty is a state of mind. If we can keep our minds tuned to resonate with the vibrations around us, we can hear music in everything. I have learned this truth, but can't consistently attain the 'resonating' frequency. Only true saints can retain such a high all the time. You show nice craft in this poem.
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Thank you for your insightful comment and applause.
I experienced how mood affects perception - and changed the way I think about the world.
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Brilliant
I really liked this, you've captured it really well. The flow is wonderful, well done on such a good write.
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Thank you very much for your comment and applause. I've "looked at clouds from both sides now", and I prefer to see the sun peeping through.
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A very tough form to pull off without seeming old-fashioned, but one that works well with the sentiment. The structural elements bind the contradictory feelings tightly together.
You demonstrate the same strong metrical sense that I remember. The only slight glitch for me is the line ending with "stills". The continuity of idea beyond the line should work fine, nothing logically inconsistent; but the fact that lines have been ending so conclusively and powerfully made reading beyond the end of the line a touch awkward. In fact, part of what makes the refrain lines so powerful is that they break that general pattern.
The ending couldn't have been stronger. I've read other poems with this theme, but you've created a unique and beautiful expression. May more of your cloudy days be named sunny.
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Wowsers!
Hi Brian, long time no see!
I have to agree about some of the enjambments, the rondeau doesn't allow much freedom; still I'm pleased with the result.
I have been clouded, but I'm not anymore. I hope all is well with you.
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and you _should_ be pleased with the result. I came out of retirement to make sure someone would still harrass you on occasion, but I'll make sure I only do so on sunny days.
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Anytime.
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Ahh, I do love it when the morning just calls you and gives you such a wonderful feeling just to be alive. This says it all so beautifully. Hugs, Patricia
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i felt some magic in those words...liked it very much...
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Thank you very much nilav, for your comment and applause.
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The first stanza of this poem is outmost perfection, I can't put it any differently. But generally, the poem has such vivid and beautiful imagery, such a lovely wording and use of rhyme, and such a wonderful flow -- it left in me this dreamy feeling, letting the words resound and picturing the scene once more before going back to read it again. So what can I possibly say? I think I'm in love with this poem.
Best,
Anna
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I loved this Margaret ...
and I simply adored the entrance line, which immediately stated the sentiments of the poet: "a cloudy day has dawned with rays ...", inherently carrying within its cloudedness the (hidden) sun.
You write classical poetry, and I will not compare you to anyone but to MargaretG herself: a uniquely refined and seamless writer.
Love
Myra
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Thank you Myra, you bring the sun with you.
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Sometimes I just love rising to find that the sun is not shining brightly, and the perky, little flowers are drooping and trees go limp. Those mornings, I am forced awake by my coffee and a breeze of fog. It doesn't always make me sad.
I do love this piece, my dear, lovely friend. It's one I'll read again before I move on. Hugs, Patricia
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That is true, when the sun is inside, we don't need sun outside to feel fine. Thank you for your sensitive reading and applause.
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Oh how much truth lies within this beautiful piece and it is so eloquent and moving to me as I know what seeing those 'cloudy days' can do to one, and it is true on how much of the beauty one misses out on when one cannot see past them...
You are such a thoughtful and perceptive soul with a beautiful outlook and again, reading you brings so much to mind and spirit...
Moving and Stunning and I am not surprised, your work has a way of touching one and giving so much...
Many, Many s to you and Thank You miMargaret for this piece!
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Thank you Mimi! I have had enough cloudy days to know that the internal clouds are the more troubling kind. Thank you for your reading and appreciative comment. You have brightened my day.
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Back again!
What thought holds is everything...Margaret, your poetry is just lovely to read, your flow of thoughts are so smooth, it's almost like reading my own thoughts at times.
I watched the sun break over the mountains a couple days ago. It had been raining all day, but about 4:00 PM, a very intense slate blue hovered on the horizon and the sun turned the hills green-gold. It was surreal and I wanted to hold it, keep it from dissipating.
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Thank you Karen, and thanks also for that spectacular image. I love that hour when the sunlight slants almost horizontal, the colours are edged with shadows and everything is peculiarly vivid. Somehow a camera cannot capture that. You live in a beautiful place.
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wow, well done, Margaret. I really enjoyed this and don't know this form at all. This does so remind me of here. Am thinking about a Bells contest since last we spoke
Would you promise to indulge me with "the bells, the bells"?
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Margaret You read my heart, as I sometimes wish for bright rays of sunshine in the shortening days of winter. I live in a circle of mountains and often see the phenomena of vapor, or cloud ringing them or obscuring their faces. Each day has it's own gifts when we seek them with a higher vision. No clouded thought here! ~ Karen
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Thanks for applause!
Dear Karen, I commiserate about short days and cloudy skies - in Moscow the shortest days are only 6 hours long. If one is already depressed that is oppressive!Fortunately here in Kyiv we get some sunshine in the winter.
It falls to each person to support her spirit by all known means, and there are many. I'm happy to offer some clarity.
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This is very well done, with a steady stream of words that flow softly through your mind, helping the imagery along, leaving you with a beautiful piece of work. Well done. Val.
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Thanks Val
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Great Metaphor
Margaret you are so right, emotional clouds are like that, not letting in the sun and beauty that surrounds.
Your structured rhyme was delightful using a quintella to start (you know that's my favorite rhyme scheme)then a tercet, and ending again with a quintella. the repeated codas were brilliant bringing your metaphor back to the front of thoughts each time.
I loved this, wonderfully done
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Beauty
That really is a beautiful piece, you flowed and nothing sounded forced, I just love the way you describe something, that others don't even give a second thought, wonderful diction, I realy enjoyed this, Romanee, xx
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Thanks Romanee
for your appreciative comment and applause. I'm happy you enjoyed this.
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Maddingly excellent!
Fantastic Poem, you have eloquently described the depressive feelings a cloudy brings about...or like you a poem
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Thanks!
Experience is a wonderful teacher - or as I say, been there, done that, had no fun!
Thanks for your enthusiastic response.
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Thank you Ron.
I'm chuffed to be compared with Pope! 
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Ron reckons this is OK!
I take your point Margaret. (You know my meaning, and this poem expresses the essence of a problem the Black Dog people unfortunately have.) The poem is pleasantly atypical, stanzaically, with equally perfect rhyme. The rhyme draws attention to itself because it stands out and is outstanding because it declares "le mot juste".
"The sights the troubled mind surveys
are coloured with its own malaise "
- is a closed couplet as memorable as any that the neoclassicist, Alexander Pope, wrote and as universal. I do think you are a poet of note, dear Winkler.
Your use of "stills" achieves rhyme but also selects a verb in an infrequently used manner, adding to the force of your diction.
(Terry would clap hands to see "its" spelt correctly and the true pronoun of "mind".)
Your twin themes of adoration of natural beauty and a wilful blindness to the grace around us are faces of the one coin!
The set form you chose, your elegant style of rhymed lines and couplets, and the cleverly woven diction marry happily in a poem deserving of being anthologised.
Your imagery sets the mood of brightness in this world of ours and the tone has an underlying sadness that sour minds reject this beauty by being blindly inward.
I congratulate you on a very good poem indeed. Lyndon of the Winklings.
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Yes, Rod, that is what I mean. There are people who cannot see the good things in life, either as a temporary filter, or as a lifelong habit.
I like flowers, can't keep my nose out of them.
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The best thing of having a cloudy day is the joy we get when a sunny day shows up
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You writing amazes me, Margaret. In its simplicity it says so much and means so many different things to everyone who reads it. The last three lines are my favorites, by far. But for me, it would have to be that the days without sunshine are my favorite...clouds are so lovely.
Elisa
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"The sights the troubled mind surveys
are coloured with its own malaise;
its discontent with being stills
all wonder, timeworn passion chills
and names the morning others praise
a cloudy day."
Herein lies what I perceive to be your message. It is not the lack of sunshine, but the particular filter chosen to view the day that decides its worth for each individual. Do we choose to know the sun still shines behinds the clouds? Do we still know its warmth? Thanks for this beautiful message.
Peace, Rod -
Dear Margaret,
Well crafted, with your unerring touch and, as usual, consummate expression and unclouded imagery. All in all, a beautifully written piece of verse which I am bookmarking.
I will not comment, needlessly, on the message which is all there.
Applause, love and hugs, XXX Hugh, -
excellent writing
I really enjoyed this poem and it written so well.Keep up the great work my friend. -
The clouds that rush across the sky
Will clear to sunshine by and by
And you'll be free to walk and talk
By water clear, and plant, and rock
Now look, the sun is breaking through,
So sweet to bid good day to you.
Each season has its own beauty and weather. There's always sunshine in the heart. Best Wishes. -
Clouds can make for a dreary day, but I absolutely love a cloudy day. Of course, I am bipolar. LOL This is just so wonderfully written. A lovely piece. Hugs, Patricia
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Dear Sweetpea, This poem is beautiful. I'm glad you don't feel like that now. With Yem around how could we not be cheerful.
Love and hugs.
Joan
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I agree. A troubled mind can really vanquish appreciation of beauty, and of the other higher things - Love, joy, peace etc.
We need to be reminded again and again that there is a treasure to be found, regardless of circumstances, as it is the first thing we forget when times get tough.
Thanks for peeling back the cloud and allowing your clarity to shine through. Lovely work. Peace and joy, Tara
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Good! And I like it the much. No idea what that means.
but heavy hearts perceive no thrills -
a cloudy day.
Ain't it the truth Sally!
You're smart...
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HAVE A HAPPY EASTER
LOLz...oopsies
People have done that to me too and taken what I wrote literally when what I wrote was pure inspiration. That just means that you are an excellent writer , Margaret, and able to get into the mood of what you are writing. I still hope you have seen or get to see the floral departments around where you live. All those Easter Lilies have a heavenly scent. 
Edited on Apr 12, 5:16 p.m. because ''. -
Thanks SEA! You don't need to cheer me up, I was writing about other days. I have crocuses in my front garden!!
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Excellent writing!!!
I was skipping along through the first stanza and then ran into some clouds in the second and third stanza... Reminded me of what Mattie Stepanek said, "Remember to play after every storm..." After cloudy days too. Stop by a floral department at a store or somewhere before Easter as adorned with so many flowers and Easter Lillies for easter that you cannot help but smile. Imagine God sent them all to you yet since not enough room in your house He stored them at the store hoping you'd stop by and see and let your worries get lost in all the beautiful blooms. I am only the messenger. You will have to go look and see for yourself to see. Be Blessed Margaret
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