I took a long and Lonely shower
Ten minutes to my name
I enjoy the feel of confidant power
Where Lonely is no shame
I took a long and Lonely drive
In transit no one cares
The road is where the Lonely thrive
Far from sympathetic stares
Lonely interests long and varied
I tend to carry books
For when my busy head is buried
I am safe from Lonely looks
Escape from Lonely life's dictates
For vulnerability Lonely patiently awaits
Lonely prospers on dislikes
Strip my mask and Lonely strikes
Author notes
The last stanza could probably use the most work.
Written April 10th, 2006
A contest entry
- Calling all Poets for Poetry by Dark Whispers.
375 points, ended March 26, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Wow. This is a powerfully written poem. The words are wonderfully chosen. I can relate to this on so many levels. Nicely written.
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WOW
I must admit that this was very well written and I have taken that ride on my own many times before...
You have a very powerful message in this poem and so many people can really relate to it my friend...
Thank you so much for sharing and I wish you only the best of luck in the contest
Much Love
Tessa
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Actually, this is very well written! Wishing you all the very best in your writing endeavors!
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Ahh! really? Spell check didn't detect errors (no guarantees though!)
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Great
Thats great!
I think it had some spelling errors though -
hmmmmm very good actually and i think u've given me sum inspiration
just wen i was starting to run dry lol it was a good write, keep it up
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I'm so glad I could help such a wonderful poet...Hopefully that makes me noteworthy by association, lol.
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After careful consideration... I love your suggestion. It definitely flows much better. Thank you! I shall change it.
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dude this poem is like so good i'm book marking it
!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!
it's like my favorite poem so far
dude i wish i could write like this
!!!!!!!
~*ME*~ (^_^) (0_0) (*_*) -
great
I like how you repeated the word "lonely" so much in this poem. In the last stanza, you actually seemed to personify it! I liked this poem. Keep it up! -
great job
amazimg it's really breth taking---ly good like idk like
Escape from Lonely this life dictates
For vulnerability Lonely patiently awaits
Lonely prospers on dislikes
Strip my mask and Lonely strikes
is so like idk it says (i'm guessing) u hide ur self and try not to draw attion to ur self and i really like this poem and i aggree completely to the hole thing -
Escape from Lonely this life dictates
For vulnerability Lonely patiently awaits
Lonely prospers on dislikes
Strip my mask and Lonely strikes
Maybe if you change the first line of the last stanza to:
Escape from this Lonely life's dictates
it might make a little more sense...Just a thought. Otherwise, a truly brilliant piece. I loved it, it made me think (which, by the way, isn't nice at 1:30 in the morning, lol), and it was all so true. I especially liked how you anthropomorphized Lonely, giving this feeling a personality of it's own. Great work!! Much love to you and yours,
Nicole
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makes me hate my poetry
Such a wonderful piece! There are many lines that I enjoyed, but I particularly liked
"I took a long and Lonely drive
In transit no one cares
The road is where the Lonely thrive
Far from sympathetic stares"
because it is so true. And I like the capitalization of "lonely", it makes it into an entity instead of just an emotion. Well done. You have a lot of talent here...this could be a song if you wanted it to. -
wow...are you lonely?
just kidding lol
i liked it. it was deep. i really liked this bit actually:
Lonely interests long and varied
I tend to carry books
For when my busy head is buried
I am safe from Lonely looks
but yeah.
it's just a really good poem an i shall now proceed to observe others you've written
catcha
<33 roxie
~xoxo~
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