oh
but this body was holy
before the cut tendons made these
fingers impossible
so it is gospel that
ambition scorched your wings
and the devil whistles another happy tune
as his white, white hands are once again caked in your
tar
and she says i wouldn’t sit in your fucked up heaven
anyway
that she has had enough of hollywood sugar
but i said, are you dog enough to sniff at the future
you had no language for broken ribs
but she whispers:
i like when it burns
like sun on a cunt
her eyes become coin-heavy with something like
doze
and scented with
bless me, father, for i have sinned,
it has been three rapes
since my last confession
but i did record them on the wristband
that pretty doctor signed with my name
&
yes,
i know i am
dying
without ever having been
born
yet
she is perfection
i tell you,
she is perfection
no, not a hint or an extension
but a sister who came back
to hunt for souls
and her breath is sage-colored and brimming
with constantines and cantinas filled with drunks
all missing their god-coated wings
but
she will not sing
until
i
speak
and with three words i will make her whole again,
beautiful
like shaven words that glow a pink pea
and they will begin with
i
forgive
you
Author notes
Background stolen from Rolling Stone.
Silver
Written April 10th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- I want you to write something PROFOUND. (My very first contest) by Nutrition.
900 points, ended June 13, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I love the way you write. Not one minute of this was boring, and even though I'm horridly-ADD, I hung onto your every word. Well done!
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Wow. I am impressed.
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this is still.....
so very very beautiful...
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came back for a fix of this
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Wonderful, brilliant as always. I adore reading your works. This one was so raw and edgy, so sad, and yet, utterly touching. Fabulous job.
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amazing, this is my favourite poem entered into the contest. this poem is striking, and powerful. i loved it
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sha just like a man Darcy he said he loved me to
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Hello! Incredible
HOLY SHIT!!!!! And this is the part that I tell you why I love you an that we need to get married an make ultra-super-mega poet babies!!!!! *ahem*
Seriously, I liked it. -
How about "i don't forgive you" LOL that would work just as well for me. LOL. I am sort of burned out on forgiveness these day. But I came back to read it for one more turn, cuz it is cool, lady, really fucking cool.
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Count me out of the body count on girlfriends. No offense, you all. This poem rocks! I wish I would have written it! HOLY SHIT!!!! Especially the ripeness of "fucked up heaven" and "i forgive you" just burning all the way down the tanker! This is one of your absolute best poems ever and a real deviation in many ways from your recent works, at least from what I have read. There is just so many sublime words in this one. It is the perfect ending to a perfectly fucked up day (in my world). All the best to you in the comp (like you need it!!!)
Edited on Apr 14, 11:09 p.m. because ''. -
But of course.
Although we might want to keep that a secret from your gurlfriend. 
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one of the best i've read
the entire poem is jaw-dropping!!!
~tryst -
well that was damned good.
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wow, this was an absolutely amazing piece. So strong.. so much emotion, yet so dry, and harsh. This one seems a bit different from your others though.. the raw emotion is there.. but it seems a bit more forced, or something. The idea behind what you're writing is absolutely stunning though. The feeling i get when i read your poetry.. is indescribable.
Thanks
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love dat joke... *wipes a tear*
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and she says i wouldn’t sit in your fucked up heaven
anyway
that she has had enough of hollywood sugar
but i said, are you dog enough to sniff at the future
you had no language for broken ribs
and but yes we or sooo, screw those, who cares, i didn't even notice them this is so good, and made me think of this twisted joke im gonna share with you.
so this girl goes to church to confess, and she says:
girl; priest, i have sinned
priest; what did u do?
girl; i swore
priest; thats not so bad, what did you say?
girl; holy f*ing s*t
priest; why did you say that?
girl; well, i was at a bar and this guy statred to kiss me...
the priest goes around to see her and kisses her then sits back down.
priest; see, that wasnt so bad.
girl; yeah but then he started to take off my clothes...
so the priest goes back around and starts to undress het then sits back down.
priest; see, that wasnt so bad either.
girl; yeah, but then we slept together...
so the priest goes back once more and sleeps with the girl.
priest; see, that wasnt bad at all.
girl; yeah, but then he told me he had AIDS.
priest: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!
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At last, I feel I have something to say! You're such a good writer, but this poem feels unfinished: there are too many 'and's and this line stunts the flow: 'that she has had enough of hollywood sugar' - do you really need 'that she has had'? The first stanza is perfect, the second seems unfinished and 'are you dog enough' seems a little forced. Otherwise I just dislike the description: 'pretty doctor'. I do wonder how you always find a subject to write about with such intensity and passion. I like your sharpness and use of shock-value intermingled with the feelings of us ordinary folk. Barbie. Xx
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Darcy
this hit so hard and true for me today
forgiveness is something i have talked about just a few hours ago - and something i am really struggling with. I asked 'do i have to forgive them to truly heal?' the answer came back a very gentle: No... but you do have to forgive yourself...'
words cannot convey how tis poem has left me ~ thank you for your words
take gentle care
elaine
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