But A Notion
I'm stirred by the sounds of
restless wishes,
and a purple nightwalk
in an evening
concert.
You do speak from such a
different mountain.
In my sleep I asked
for you to rescue me.
It is a miracle I can dream of you.
I ached for someone who
might know my name,
a dancing goddess
celebrating the
universe.
I wished for presence.
I wished for love.
She has a voice.
I feel the music of her amazement.
She has a breath.
I feel her wild wind blow inside me.
She has a touch...
I quiver at the thought of her magic.
She has a kiss...
she does.
Your breathing spirit
moves
silently over my
frame...
night and
time
and distance
and words
are
but a notion.
Oh! How I reach out
beyond the barrier of
silence
feeling a tender laughter,
slight verses
melting into
veins.
I reach up
outside of this
enclosure of
self
to fold your
ache and song
inside my own.
Author notes
This piece was written in collaboration with the amazing kaibab... inspiration is a beautiful wonder...
Written April 10th, 2006
A contest entry
- love without the cliché by silver bugs.
600 points, ended April 17, 2006, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Beautiful
Just so gracefull you are with words, like a slow romantic dance and completely cliche free x
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i love the last few lines. "to fold your ache and song" especially. lovely abstract image. thanks for the comment on continual =)
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getting the notion...
As the flecks of white hot sand meet the coral of the sea, so the inflections of souls are born to be free. Nothing that ever began on a purple nightwalk in an evening concert could be misconstrued as hollowly scorned. Nice spread on the pageantry of silvery twinges and notions of love's invincibility. ~ EZB -
this is beautiful. i like the images you created with your words. great work
thanks for sharing...good luck.
♥
~Lana
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Thank you very much!
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my favorites lines:
In my sleep I asked
for you to rescue me.
very warm and touching.
it resonates.
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Thank you kindly!
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Thanks sahdana! I'm glad you enjoyed it...
I see you got your poem back up from earlier so I'm going to go check it out! Peace my friend!
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Thank you so much that means a lot
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Bon.
I'm a fan of this style. Sparse and almost severed from the scene being described. Outside the time and situation and reflecting one's own response to what's at hand. Your lexicon is one which I appreciate, myself, and is wonderful to read. A brilliant ending. -
This was an intriguing write,
tone to it. The images fused with sound created a dramatic
performance of isolation and abandonment.
There are so many things we take for granted in life.
So many of life's beauties go unseen or noticed.
In the stillness of contentment we are priviledged
to peer into the corridors of another dimension.
Thereby recieving enlightenment.
Very good work here.... -
beautiful, simply beautiful, flowing smoothly with love, very appealing and convincing...well written! best to you in the contest! peace & blessings
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Your approach was quite original and innovative. The way you express feelings is amazing.
"I ached for someone who
might know my name,
a dancing goddess
celebrating the
universe."
This is the best verse from the poem, in my opinion. Awesome artwork! -
I love the style you used for this poem.
I wished for presence.
I wished for love.
These were my favorite lines. They seemed to echo my own thoughts and feelings. You did a wonderful job with this piece. I wish you all the best in this contest. Much love to you and yours,
Nicole
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i like this poem and it is really different. it feels like to hear and see this poem when i read it.
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