I can hear the slight discordance in your words,
the undertone you're not ready for us to face.
You'll probably be annoyed by this,
but I'll say it because you need to hear it.
We weren't a match made in heaven;
we were thrown together by fate.
I know that you have doubts.
They were always written on your face.
You're not perfect.
I don't want you to be.
You have faults, a lot of them.
I love you anyway.
You are closed off and defensive.
Somehow, I find you incredibly sweet.
You would scowl before smiling.
I treasure your smiles all the more because of it.
If I hugged you for no reason,
you became suspicious.
So I hugged you harder, more,
just to make you used to it.
I had my own doubts.
I tried not to let you see them on my face.
I'm not perfect.
I know you don't want me to be.
I have faults, a lot of them.
You love me anyway.
I am overly sensitive and intrusive.
Somehow, you still tolerated me.
I smile too much, find it hard to keep a straight face.
You were amused when I tried because of it.
If you hugged me for no reason,
I would be suspicious.
So I want you to hug me harder, more,
just to make me used to it.
Even apart,
I'm still with you, as you are with me.
Don't be afraid to lean on that bond,
call out when you are in need.
No, we weren't formed in heaven.
Our wills will constantly chafe and grate.
But we love each other,
so I guess we've got it made.
Author notes
This is for you, Kayla. A little confusing, but I'm hoping you'll understand it, in part at least. This is something that I should have written when you were still here because its mostly how I felt when things were off between us those months before you left. I always felt that we could never completely get along because we were always trying to judge the other's first move. I love you, though, and I know you love me. Just wanted you to know that.
Written April 9th, 2006
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Really now? Well thats exciting news. I'm glad you understood this. I was afraid you would take it the wrong way. But I was wrong, thank God. I miss you, KK, but I'm happy if you are, wherever that is. I love you.
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Loved It...
*Sniffle* I see why you told me to come over and check out your stuff. I understand EXACTLY what you meant, which is sort of weird. Lol...at the first stanza, I thought you were writing about a man. Then, by the third, I realized it was for me. I love you, too, and I miss you. Sometimes I regret leaving, but I think I'm doing fairly well out here. Let's just say I won't be in Arkansas forever. The east coast is just too much fun! You might look for me to be living less than a day away in about three years.
Wonderful write. Thank you. 
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Thanks, babe. I just hope she understands what I meant. This wasn't a put-down or anything, and I wasn't trying to say that all we had were arguments. Anyway, again, thanks. Love ya, too.
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this is very sweet, i thought you and kayla always got along. well you two are like me and my step sister we love each so much but we always disagree about everything but i can always make her laugh and she can do the same to me. this is a great write you make me want to write one for my sister thank you Amanda for opening my eyes. love ya
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