in a single drop of ink
there is:
the snap of a neuron
in a middle-aged woman,
ratted hair, mad,
staining the air she breathes
with her husband’s
rotten blood
the spark in the gut
of a Colt .45,
which drives a lead scream
into the blazing mind
of all the silent world
the cut wire
and the busy signal
and the lights shut out
and absolute horror
and love and death.
i took apart my pen
and peered inside
the hollow ink cartridge
at the thin black abyss
of all the untold
stories of the future
the wind shouting haiku
through my hair
that crispy smell of spring
Author notes
Written April 9th, 2006
A contest entry
- dear. we must eat the liver. sweet as june. we must. dear. by jaunty pill.
300 points, ended June 20, 2006, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
Frankly , I cry almost every time I read a poem by you. There are some poets on here that are able to strike a cord in me that is not easily plucked. Some people I read and I say " yeah , And...? " Without feeling much of anything. You are not one of those writers. Poets and writers all have their moments where the poetry won't come through , Sometimes you just sit down and it runs out of you like , Well , Like ink.
I can relate to this poem on more than one level and there is no way you could have known that. There is always , Like I said , Something tangible in your work. Even if it is for a mere second , A glimpse so to speak. I have never found you not able to communicate or suffer from a lack of creativity. Some people it just abounds in , Like fire. I guess the reason why my comments come off so poetic sometimes is because I write all the time...It is what I do. Some people have side jobs or adopt writing as a hobby. But not me. I am always around it and doing my best to inspire myself and those around me.
More people should read you. And I mean that. I think you explore and five your best on every poem you write...I know that is awfully large of me to say , But from reading you , I don't think I have ever been let down. Really I should be thanking you for giving me poetry to read.
So without further hesitation...Thank you.
- James
Edited on Apr 10, 2:04 because ''. -
james, in all honesty, i almost cried when i read yr comment (now you'll lose all respect for me)—because you're so Poetic, in everything you do & say, and you like it. this is one of those wonderful amazing incidents when i can sit down, i sat down and said 'i've got to enter james's contest today,' so i sat down and thought let's write something poetic about ink, which is what poems are made of—and this just came out. i love it, thank you SO much. i always seem to need that connection between concrete images and visions to the intangible, which hopefully i can communicate (sometimes i just have concrete images that don't mean anything, but what the hell)—anyway, thanks, and thank you for inviting me to yr kickass contest.
-
" the snap of a neuron
in a middle-aged woman,
ratted hair, mad,
staining the air she breathes
with her husband’s
rotten blood "
- Sorry. I usually don't post verses back in a comment , But this , Well this blew my mind and I had to. Everything about this imagery is amazingly tangible. Yet at the same time , It is filled with anxious fervor. Something that I have always admired about your work is the use of exact imagery that cuts through bones. The repetition of " and " in this paticular poem makes the interest and detail so much more effective.
Funny how many times I read this entry since you posted it today and everytime I did , Came away with a different and unique outlook. At the end , How you turned the poem in another light was ingenious. Same goes for the beginning. It ties together delicately and doesn't sound forced. The message is crisp , Not shallow in the least. I also liked how you paced yourself with sparse punctuation....It worked fine indeed with the construction of the poem.
Whenever I read you there is a pause or thinking moment in your work. A time to reflect on what was read. That elusive moment comes many times in this above poem. I wonder if you are even capable of not dazzling me with some basis of talent. Always drawn away from your work with a smile too large to contain.
Masterful penning. Well done.
All the best and good luck in my contest ,
James
Edited on Apr 09, 10:59 p.m. because ''. -
amazing.
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