Letter to a Friend

Beta,

     I've been watching the clock on my computer for 30 minutes now and only your name is on the paper. I don't know why this is so difficult. I can tell you anything. I already told you I have a bad home, I told you I have a dark and dirty past, I told you I had a disease. So... Why cant I tell you "I love you"? You saved me from myself, and although that's in every song lyrics that have ever been written, I dont care. I finally understand them now.
     I hate that it has taken so long to acknowledge it. Because, in another month or two you're gone, and I'll never see you again. Except that one day next year when you come back and say "hello" to everyone. That's not enough. You gave me a family, one better than I knew could exist. Call me selfish but I'm not ready to give that up. But, I know I have no choice.
     I think...NO, I know you should hear this before it's too late. You're the reason I don't need to wear those sweat bands around my wrist anymore. You're the reason I don't go running to the bathroom after every mean(if you know what I mean). You're the reason for caring about stupid things... Like, "can turtles make noise?" and that Carmen Sandiego song.
    Although I know I give you a hard time on your own strict personality and the way you dress, but I wouldn't change that about you. Because I've realized that if you change one thing, another is bound to turn. Too much to risk and I would \never\ jeopardize who you are. Thats important for you to know.
     And now, it's that time where I finally just say it. So that it's out in the open and whether you agree that I'm your brother or still that crazy freshman in your section...you must know that I love you. Thank you for showing me so much. And, no matter where you are or how far you travel from me, I'm always right there like I always have been.

                                                 Alpha 1