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 Empty Mess

Missing image
 




My broken heart bleeding, weeping crimson tears
stands alone, cornered, battling the subconscious.




Once elegant, once sophisticated,
once happy, all are gone now....
all I feel is empty.




Alone, I travel hollow hall, searching for the nirvana
that long ago released me from my entrapment.




Your words, sharp with a razor's edge,
sliced through my body and left my soul a twisted mess.




A crystal shield of hatred now dwells
around my heart rotting all the love I held.




Here I sit, on the darkest of nights
with grim thoughts of suicide overtaking my mind.



Author notes

Used all the words in the word bank.
Written April 8th, 2006

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • La Bella Muerte
    April 10, 2006
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    The picture was f*cking awesome!!! ok. sorry. back to the poem. I like the format of the poem. It was appropriate for the tone. I agree with some of the previous comments, it sounds like there has to be something leading up to this moment. And something following it. Plan on making a prequel and/or sequel? hmmm. . . . just a thought. =) I like it anyway, even if it's the only one of it's kind, it makes the reader think and perhaps maybe even worry about the character. Will she be alright? hmm. Great work and GOOD LUCK!!!

    LP

  • LJxJett
    April 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this was absolutely amazing! wow! i really liked this, you really captured the pain and the sorrow... i was really touched by this, it was so amazing. keep it up
    leah

  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    April 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    thought provoking~

    That word bank is something isn't it sis
    I just looked at the contest rules and you got this down perfect
    Very powerful free verse poem...very powerful words just eminate from this poem
    Best of luck in the contest and I got up a new one too do drop by and see me when ya can...
    Love n hugs
    Your sis
    Susan~~~

  • faerieprincess
    April 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    There's no pussyfooting around here! You just open the soul and step right in! From what I'm reading in your comments, seems like you've had a Mozart Moment! So raw! I'm not a fan of dark, but when it's this good, I can't help but love it! Sometimes, there's just no other way to say it.Good luck in the contest.
    fp ~;~

  • shadowlyn infinitas
    April 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    great!

    all i can say is "wow"! the picture drew me in at first, but then your wonderful word choice and imagery amazed me! this is something that i can relate to about many separate occasions. i love the last bit and the part about the "crystal shield of hatred" that was most definitely a unique phrase! i love the way that you fit everything together and just created such a dark intense picture. best wishes to you and best of luck with your writing!
    ~love-music-darkness

  • WritingKitten
    April 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    well written

    I can totally feel and understand what you are going through. I loved the image, and hey keep your eyes open, love is waiting for you out there.

    Katie

  • Celticmoon gold member
    April 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I'm so glad you like it.
    Your word bank just jumped out at me so I went for it.
    Usually that doesn't happen to me with contest that have word banks.
    Edited on Apr 08, 8:43 p.m. because ''.

  • Celticmoon gold member
    April 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Sis!
    Don't know why but when I looked at this contest the word bank just kind of jumped out at me.

  • Onyx-Rose
    April 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    WONDERFUL! i enjoyed this poem monumentally! And the picture deffinantly gave you brownie points and kicked too many asses to count! Love it! You are amazing!

  • EarthToJim
    April 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Sounds like a snippet taken from the middle of a book... something must have happened to bring the subject to this point, and now, on the edge of our seats, we need to find out if the femme fatale actually plunges off the cliff, rope around her neck, dagger in her hand, and already half drunk on hemlock juice. Or does she show up for work the the next day handing out more Happy Meals? Stay tuned........

  • Heavenly Angel
    April 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oooh rock on, sister girl! This kicks a*! I love this! Exactly the way I've been feeling lately! If this doesn't get gold, it's beyond me! Love ya!
1 - 12 of 12