Standing there trembling
Remembering what he had done
Past fears brought back to life
Quickly overwhelming me once again
Raised voices shouting at each other
Cowering away into the shadows
Praying to be unnoticed, unlike last time
For once, not wanting to be in the big picture
Memories taking me back to three years earlier
Where the anger was turned towards me
I was caught red-handed in the middle
Being assaulted by my own brother
I thought this memory was dead and buried
Until the gravedigger came and brought it back
There I was, overwhelmed with the revived fears
Not knowing what to do... besides to pray
Dear Heavenly Father, I just pray to You now
Please calm his heart and protect this family
Shine Your loving light onto this painful situation
Let him know that I forgive him as You forgave me
Amen.
Author notes
This poem is in reference to some stuff that happened with my brother both at this Christmas time and several years ago. This poem is about that same night and the author's comments explain it a little bit more. allpoetry.com/Poem/1721946
Incase you can't manage to click on the link I just put, pretty much at Christmas time my family went to Florida. My brother is 22 (read my testimony to read more about him) and he has a problem with anger. Near the end of our vacation he got really upset and started cussing out everyone. Three years ago he was upset and ended up assaulting me. I wasn't hurt very badly, but that is pretty much what I'm talking about. This poem is about the night in Florida and the memories that are being dug up are my memories of him assaulting me before. I think the rest of the poem explains itself. I've held in negative feelings for my brother for a long time, but it is hard to forgive someone who has done as much as my brother has done to me. Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it 
Note : Also just wanted to add incase anyone is interested that my brother is doing a lot better, we are doing a lot better now, he has a good solid life where he is at, and he is growing daily in the Lord. 
Written April 8th, 2006
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Its great
very intresting , i like the way you write. -
thanks for yr comments on my poem yrs is great as well
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Read through your longer poems more than once. Your feelings are apparent but i think you could have shown more passion in your words. Its still a great poem, i just dont think i felt your true pain in your words. Keep it up you are a awesome writer.
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Fantastic
Oh, babe.. I never knew about this.. *shakes head* Not that it's blaming you, just I guess I never thought he would use you as an outlet, since I know you told me he had issues with anger. You shouldn't have had to go through this, and I respect you even more then I have already (and that was a lot, trust me )because you took the time to forgive him, which I know we can all relate to as something not easily done. Well, I guess the only thing I can say is I'm glad you have and you worked it out. In the other poem I read to get more information on this one, you said sometimes you get scared when he gets angry. Something really odd, when a guy would just look at me for too long, that use to really, truly scare me.. I can't describe it, I dunno if that was just, a weird effect of everything with dad or Tom, but that left almost as quickly as it came. So I suppose I can relate to that fear. The good news! The more we suffer here, the more glorified we are in Heaven. You have gone through so much, Tim, what with this and the whole incident with your mom's boyfriend's death (*slaps head* sorry if that was offensive in any way, did not mean it to be, honest) and yet you're this amazing person that everyone respects and admires and wants to be around. You just have this warmth about you and it's just so comforting.. you're truly a survivor, Tim, really, and if you can get through things like this, you can get through anything. Beautiful job on the poem, by the way, you were very sincere in your emotions and it was just amazing. Nothing I can tell you to fix, it's already perfect. 
I love you, as long as you want me to be here for you and even get you through hard spots, whether they be minor or major, I'll be here. Right here.
*God Bless*
Sarah
Oh, and you deserve this trophy, I mean really, come on now.
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This is really beautiful and very emotional. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. I know it must have been really hard. You did such a beautiful job with the poem though. I really enjoyed it.
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Yes, forgiveness of deep wounds is often a re-acknowledging and reaffirming what God says. What a relevant and masterful muse for our needy times.
Regards, ~Milly
*~
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X cellente
WoW... excellent introspective mapping of how you feel/ felt about the unfolding family drama. I could feel it as I read the prose. I use the wriiting here for the same methodology, to map out from my subconscious how I reacted or continue to react to my siblings and others who put the FUNK in Dys"funk"tional.
Ive come to thge resolution that everyone is where THEY NEED to be even if:
Where they are is not where they WANT to be...They got some work to do to climb outta that box or paradigm.
You don't WANT them to be there, we have to decide how damaging they are not only to themselves, but ESP. to us...since thats the ONLY one we really have power over for change.
I was involved in a ministry to help single parent families/ foster kids and Substance abuse addicts. Looking back I was'nt there for them as much as I was for ME. Addiction and abuse is a great model to undedrstand the extremities of behavior that we all manifest.
People CHANGE theyre life on their own timetable and it seems amore of a question how much do we want to let them influence us until they become enlightened to their "acting out".
So I can relate to this well, my oldest sis is dying of cancer soon and I see the same old dysfunk played out in interesting ways... Its hard to deal with but better for the experience...
WRITE ON SHARCU..!!! That explains the similar media choice for self expression... ;o) -
I'm sorry these things had to happen to you, but God gives you it for a reason.. Thank Him for your trials too!! God bless and this is a great write!
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wow, you had told me abou this, but I didn't know about what happened at Christmas time. I am so sorry I know that it can be hard to forgive someone who has hurt you badly. But, just remember that everything happens for a reason and even though we can't see why, and we sometimes struggle with God's reasoning for things, in the future it will make sense and even if not, things like these always brings us closer to God and makes us rely on Him more.
Just know that "All things work together for good to those who love the Lord" - I have found myself quoting that exact verse numorous of times lately, and it always seems to bring me a peace.
Well, great write, I really loved this. Good luck in the contest.
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brilliant
I am glad that things are a lot better and are continuing to improve. It just goes to show how powerful prayer can be in such a difficult situation. It also takes a lot of strength and faith to be able to forgive someone in that scenario. I know exactly how difficult that is.
~*~carolyn~*~ -
Thank you very much for your comment, Mom I didn't find this as emotional as some of my other poems, but it did an alright job at showing what I was feeling at the time. Best of luck to you with judging your contest
--Tim -
I am amazed at the depth of emotion you displayed in your poem Tim. This is great! Forgiving someone of such horrendous things as you and others have mentioned is such a painful journey. But God brings beauty out of pain. He has in my life as well. Thanks for entering the contest.
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Thank you so very much for your comment and applaud, Melissa. I'll be sure to check out your poem. I have to do the same thing with my father. It can be a very painful journey, but the Lord can bring us through it. "Forgiveness is sometimes a daily thing" I have often times said the exact same thing myself. Great minds think alike.
--Tim -
Hey Kara There is a lot of things that no one knows about me. If you are interested in reading my testimony, it's posted on SW... here's the link: storywrite.com/story/show/36377
Thanks for your comment
--Tim -
*sighs*
im really sry this had to happen to you...but then i guess everything happens for a reason and it builds character... hmm... 3 yrs ago... dude, i new u then...and still i had no clue...wow.
im clad u've been able to forgiv, seems like u've had to forgiv so much...and ugh, all that anger...thkfully i havent had to deal with that much...just my mum when i was lil, but she's gotten much better...
always in my prayers
mushy -
This is an awesome poem... and testament to what the Lord can do... it's so hard to forgive those that hurt you... it took a life time for me to realize that I had to forgive my dad for molesting me... heh, wrote a poem about it and entered this contest as well...
Forgiveness is sometimes a daily thing... it's a choice and we one chooses to withhold forgiveness.... then bitterness grows into hate... just as it did with me.... I have forgiven my dad... but sometimes when the memories pop back of the things he did... ( un-imaginable things)I have to chooses yet once again to forgive! The hurt is still there, the memories will never go away... but the anger, bitterness and hate flew away when forgiveness entered!
Again, this is a wonderfully written, very sad piece... one that I am sure others will relate to... Good luck in the contest! God bless you... ~Melissa -
Hey Tim,
wow.that is a really good poem and very sad. i would have never guessed that this stuffed has happened.i hope everything is alright now.my prays for you ok.good luck in the contest!
GOd Bless,
Kara
P.S. Thanks for the comment on my poem. -
hey tim i didn't know that
sorry great poem thogh!!!!!!!!!!
good luck in this contest
oh and this poem has a really nice flow it made me really sad 
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Hey,
That's really beautiful. Simple but has such an affect on the reader. Keep up the good work
bex x -
Thank you for your encouragement, Amanda I'm very glad that you liked my poem.
--Tim -
This is very beautiful. You are a very gifted person with so much faith that will get you very far along in life. Wonderful and amazing, hun. Never quit
amanda
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