I feel tripped out like I’m floating down the sidewalk
I’ve got holes in my arms and the only thing I remember is pain
I know the poisons in my body..helping…hindering..
He always calls to see if I’m ok
No, he always calls when it seems like I have my shit together
And he just wants to fuck me up for old times sake
I’m not that kind of girl anymore
I don’t return phone calls
And most nights are a dreamless sleep
Where I lie on my side, legs curled in and arms underneath my chin
I like the covers pulled to my face
And I stare at the digital clock with its procession of time.
Most nights I want to rip the chord out of the wall and smash dear ole time away
But I’m not that kind of girl anymore
I get scared cause I cant breathe
The oxygen is trapped and I thrash and writhe about
I blow my nose, but I still can’t breathe
When you touch me I scream
I tell myself to shut the fuck up, but I can’t stop
I try and rip my throat out but nothing is gonna cure me
Just a cracked out baby doll with no body to hold me
Tripping down the street, thinking each step is a miracle.
He still calls, just to see if I’ve got it all together
Really, he just wants to make sure I dont blame him
His voice always seems to mess me up.
I don’t remember these holes in my arms, but I can still taste their pain.
Author notes
exploits a lot more vulnerability when you use the word "I."
Written April 7th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
your talent grows with time
-
know that you are loved
-
Wow, what a powerful read. I hope you take care of yourself. Thanks for sharing.
~Emberly~ -
wow........
-
Seems your style hasnt changed at all either.
greeting returns old friend. It sucks to have been dealt a crappy hand in this cardgame we call life.
But we play the game anyways.
Hope you are well and the thing about holes in your arms is... you can use to make some funky tattoos.
-
worrying about you....
-
This poem really moved me, mostly because I have friends who I have sadly seen go through this vicious cycle of drug addiction. It's interesting to see your perspective and maybe understand how it might feel. Great work.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
