Where is it that I partake
in the un-enjoyable blatancies again...
A mask hits the floor but,yet,the face remains blank;
a solid amongst thoughs that are transparent.
In an echoed out try, I cover mine own whimpering with something a bit
heroic yet,it seems you wont find me any more
then in the forests where my grand fathers lay;
stone and whiled and superficial to the point of tears...
almost a way to deal more then what the mirror would really show.
But in the past I had brought it down,
I opened my veil and shaw to show
that
pitiful little hole i brought into me from my own, little ghosts.
so pretty...
so petty...
and my fangs and claws show nothing to those who watch.
But to this very morrow I do release the projection
of a silent monk again.
And in on the inside,
I screamed the name:
Pandora.
Author notes
i will admit, It isn't my normal flood of emotions i contol in the words,but i hope its ok.
Written April 6th, 2006
A contest entry
- who am I ? by maa.
333 points, ended June 15, 2006, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I felt this poem was quite frightening. Was that the intention or am I just getting scared for nothing? I found a few spelling mistakes(for instance, "then" instead of 'than' in L7. The imagery you have used is very vivid and not for the faint of heart
Truly, mystery fills the poem from start to end.
All the best in the contest,
Charishma
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dear angel,
thank you so much for participating in the contest.
this poem you have written is very rich in imagery and creates a very mysterious atmosphere for the reader. one is invited to advance slowly and carefully with full attention within this amazingly rich inner universe you reveal to us. all the shadows, all the seemingly solid objects we start to discover in illuminating them one by one through the flame of our little candle we brought with us into the dark cavern, finally lose their power to intimidate us, as they are seen for what they are, just shadows created by the light hitting matter.
well, I just wanted to share with you what your poem inspires me ...
much luck in the contest,
and warmest greetings,
marion -
very good
oh wow that's realy good
i lyk how you used your final line as both a refrence to clasic mytholigy symbolizing chaoss and touture, and i also liked it because of it's simplisity as a one word line, and it's complexity. what with the idea of pandora, and pandora's box.(i love clasical mytholigy) your final word realy sumed up the intire poem. very good job
keep penning
~black roses -
This is a fine entry in the contest, thank you and good luck.
Al -
ty.^_^
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Very interesting thoughts and some great lines! I really like, A mask hits the floor but,yet,the face remains blank;
a solid amongst thoughs that are transparent. Great commentary on truth and honesty. I find it interesting that in most dark poetry that there is often times regret after the fact, so sad that the revelations couldn't have come earlier. Thanks for the thoughts and words.
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