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Ancient Forest Fabric

Trembling,
we the ragged dress
can no longer cling
to the huddling frame.
Hole by hole,
we lose
against the wind
and darkening season
leaving limbs shivering
and uncovered
in morning frost.
I, the ancient fabric,
moth-eaten and skeletal
fall, and leave
a naked form.

Author notes

Option One.
PoeticEmily just turned THIRTY.
Written April 6th, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 57 of 57

  • StoneLion
    April 27, 2006
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    Thank you for the silver. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. I really enjoyed the ideas you gave us to write on for this contest. Thanks for a fun contest.


  • PoeticEmily
    April 19, 2006
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    Wow, this piece has amazing description and so much feeling in such a short work. this flowed very well, the language was casual but not coarse, very well done. I love the clothing metaphor, it really fits the subject, and it fits the mood of the piece. Very very well done.


  • StoneLion
    April 19, 2006
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    Thank you

  • theprincess
    April 15, 2006
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    i love your imagery from the material standpoint excellent job
    michele


  • StoneLion
    April 8, 2006
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  • Puppydog gold member
    April 8, 2006
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    Just one of many which protect all that live beneath your beautiful cover


  • StoneLion
    April 7, 2006
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    Thank you. I'm glad ou enjoyed it.


  • prettiestinneon
    April 7, 2006
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    omigosh this is moving and beautiful and flowing and *tear*... its amazing...

    you really took something not as beautiful and made it perfect. you're awesome. i really like the point of view.


  • StoneLion
    April 7, 2006
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    Thank you.


  • wings of an angel
    April 7, 2006
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    Very nice write, well done and beautifully penned good luck in the contest


  • StoneLion
    April 7, 2006
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    Thanks, Deb. Always appreciate your thoughts.


  • nichtmich silver member
    April 7, 2006
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    Exceptionally Well Done

    Lovely description of a tree graciously returning to the soil from which she sprang. "Limbs shivering and uncovered..." Gave me goosebumps. Thanks for a sweet/bittersweet read, Stone. Deb


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
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    Thank you, Sis. Well, I wrote it thinking metaphorically.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
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    Thank you, snow!


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
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    Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. I always appreciate them, my friend.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Glad you enjoyed it.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Glad you enjoyed it and thank you.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
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    Thank you.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
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    Ah, I'm blushing, Auntie. Thank you for such sweet and wonderful words. They mean so much to me.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
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    That's an interesting challenge, Elscripto. I like it.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you!


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, Val.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
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    Thanks, ethereal. This was an interesting one to write. An interesting frame of mind to be in.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
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    Thanks, Di.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
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    Thank you, dear Pixie.


  • a n g e l
    April 6, 2006
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    this is wonderfulyl written, but i'm wondering if is figurative or whether you jsut wrote it literally?? I know that anyone can interpret a poem how they want, but how did u write it?

    good luck in the contest. Oh, the poem flowed really well and was a pleasure to read


  • Stingersinger53 gold member
    April 6, 2006
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    Wonderfully written. Good luck in the contest!


  • dreamer wind
    April 6, 2006
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    Beautiful poem. Great imagine you have put in my mind. Great poem and beautiful written Good luck in the contest you in.
    Wish you the best
    snow


  • Puppydog gold member
    April 6, 2006
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    WONDERFUL POEM MY FRIEND

    This is just beautiful my friend, sometimes we are left open and easily set upon by bad and sad things.


  • OnlyInMyDreams
    April 6, 2006
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    great poem! I really enjoyed reading this piece. it was very creative!keep up the good work!
    God Bless,
    OnlyInMyDreams


  • roused
    April 6, 2006
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    nice picture painted in my mind, thanks for that


  • Cherokee
    April 6, 2006
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    Oh I think this was a pretty good one. I think I will give it applause since it is one of the better ones I have read today.


  • sunny day
    April 6, 2006
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    Fantabulous!!!!!

    Liz, WOW This is fantabulous my dear sweet niece. You provided very vivid imagery through your personification.
    It flowed so peacefully and yet had an eerie feeling to it.
    This is amazing, I have read it 4 times now and want to read it again. Before I do I will leave you with a standing ovation to go along with my applause. Love you always, Auntie Joyce


  • Swadhi
    April 6, 2006
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    I love the imagery in this piece. It's really well done, great word choice. Although lately...I am reading a lot of poems about trees and they all seem to have to do with bare, leafless trees. I wonder if you'd ever write a poem about a tree in full bloom? I'm sure you'd do a great job on it...I would do it but...I'm not much of a nature sort of writer...maybe I'll give it a try, but I definitely think you should! Just a suggestiong. But anyway, this poem is terrifico. Keep it up and thanks for sharing!


  • Wolf Mancini
    April 6, 2006
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    Damn great poem, I haven't had the pleasure of reading your other works...but I will.


  • Willowhaunt
    April 6, 2006
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    inspiring

    It was beautiful, with lovely imagery. Good luck!


  • Elfin
    April 6, 2006
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    What a beautiful way to discribe autumn leaves falling and leaving a naked tree.Your poem needs no editing at all. Well done and good luck in the contest.Val


  • Ethereal One gold member
    April 6, 2006
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    excellent

    Your imagery is very good in this poem. I like the way you are speaking as the leaf. You have done a really good job on this one Stone. Best of luck in the contest!

    etherealforu


  • masterblaster gold member
    April 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi very different to your usual writes, I liked this a lot,good phrasing and nice flow, all the best in the comp, this poem should do well, hugs Di

  • Ir.muse
    April 6, 2006
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    A nice piece dear pixie friend.
    Wish you luck in the contest.
    Shahrzad


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
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    Thanks, grannyeri. The thought of yuor applause is appreciated all the same.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
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    Thank you very much.


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
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    Thank you for your comment.


  • grannyeri gold member
    April 6, 2006
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    Very creative write you have penned here - thinking outside the box. Personification rules in this poem. Liked the brevity of the lines and the images created by the words you have woven together. Well done. If I had 7 points, I'd applaud. Just a standing ovation!


  • apoeticinjustice gold member
    April 6, 2006
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    outstanding...it has exceptional flow and vivid imagery. A very enjoyable read. Great job.
    Rory

  • Revwilliamfoos
    April 6, 2006
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    this is how i feel when i am in the forest. and on my forest walks i always hope to flow into a waterfall keep writeing beauty and keep the ink flowing on recycled papaer
    love the papa


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
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    Thank you, Jeff. Your continued support really means so much to me.

  • Harlequin
    April 6, 2006
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    Brilliant, your imagery is outstanding as usual...Jeff


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you.


  • blondone
    April 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    real nice show of poetry done here love the flow of each lanes job well done thanks for sending the link


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Angel of wolves!


  • Heavenly Angel gold member
    April 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely beautiful, my friend! Very well done!


  • StoneLion
    April 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Rowan! I'm glad you liked it.

  • Rowan gold member
    April 6, 2006
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    I think this is one of the best ones I've read of yours! This is absolutely brilliant, the imagery is so eery and beautiful! What an awesome poem to read upon waking for me! This is some very very fine work!! Wow!

1 - 57 of 57