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Pressure Points

Sitting by the window
I notice a crack in the glass
So minute,it's hardly visible at all
I wonder if I press my hand there
Will it shatter
Falling into fragmented shards

Picturing pressure points in my mind
I wonder if I press there
Will it explode
Screaming kaleidoscopes of colours
Rushing to my eyes

I wonder if I close them
Will Morpheus wave his magical spell
And close my mind
Letting me unwind

So I sit here
Quietly,waiting for that moment in time
When the pressures of the day escape
Free-falling into the ether
And sleep is just a state of mind

Author notes


Written February 19th, 2003

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Comments

1 - 31 of 31
  • unrepentantsoul
    October 4, 2004
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    the first two stanzas are amazing, but i loved the whole thing, this is one of the best poems i've read recently!


  • April 1, 2004
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    that picture is amazing - it stopped me in my tracks reading so i had to go back and start aain
    arrrr the unwinding of sleep at the end of a day, or beginning in my case or in the middle. is a great poem this gill.
    with the window - it reminded me of salford council. before i was in this flat i was in another down the road which they've knocked down now, well i had a hole in my window there, i just mentioned it to the guy who called from the council about what sort of place i'd like next etc, next minute the workmen come along, and stick in a whole new window! and i mean one of those massive feckers. i was amazed, they knocked the flats down a couple of months later! what a waste of money and time eh


  • AnnD Moderators member
    January 6, 2004
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    oooh what vivid visions, very well expressed... and those pressures build up to breaking point.
    wonderful piece Gill.
    Ann


  • NurseChilly gold member
    January 6, 2004
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    HEHHEHEHE thanks Dan, this is an oldie.. thanks for reminding me of it.. hope you're happy and well


  • phatalvision silver member
    January 6, 2004
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    This is a nice piece of writing Gilly. I can commiserate with you on this one. The last stanza really hits home. WOW! That background is freaking me out!


  • Deke
    March 8, 2003
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    I like this poem, but I hate those nights when the cares of the world come in and stay not letting any sleep in. Those I think are very bad pressure points or they are caused by the pressure points. A very good poem that you have here.
    Damon D. Brewer


  • Kevin Moderators member
    February 25, 2003
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    great work

    lots of great lines in this piece, but there is a small feeling of amaturness to it still. I think you could explore your inner *meaning* more, beyond just considering this an insomniac poem. I'd play with 1,000 different revisions of it, and see if you like where it might also go... (only being harsh cuz you asked me about publication, I liked it quite a bit )


  • NurseChilly gold member
    February 24, 2003
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    Thanks for the inspiration Joyce.. yeah I need some time to relax...when I don't know.. but I do need it


  • Sprite silver member
    February 24, 2003
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    Pressure. Buckling. Fantasizing about release. Cracking up. Falling into a splintered mind... Very powerful, Gil. It has a pent up feeling. Something seems imminent. I see the glass shards raining down. Whew! great write.
    Now please relax for awhile! ~ Joyce

  • NurseChilly gold member
    February 22, 2003
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    Thankyou everyone for you great comments.. appreciate you dropping by..


  • Annastacia
    February 21, 2003
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    I really enjoyed this.
    Anna

  • F Etc
    February 21, 2003
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    Gilltastic

    Humph
    I'm slightly scared, smashing glass is kinda my thing... But then I'm following onto you with my 14 piece knife set (im working on the rust)
    Tis a really great poem Gilly, really strong imagery with the glass and kaleidascope and stuff... although I'm sure I've missed about a million equally great poems while I've been awake. And once i get the hang of this new fangled allpo I'll be all over all of them, I promise!


  • sock monkey
    February 20, 2003
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    Fascinating ruminations. Things can get distorted when you're tired enough. Distortions are distracting! A subliminal and clever as hell piece.


  • froglover80
    February 20, 2003
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    i see that tiny crack all the time..bugs the crap out of me..hehe

    excellent write once again...took me about forever to scroll down here to comment though..hehe...
    i loved the background with this piece...worked well..thank you for sharing ~~Jenn


  • Talia
    February 20, 2003
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    Funny cos sometimes you can also feel like that piece of glass one little nudge and you can fall into a thousand pieces, Good write. Back grouns is niiiiice!!!!


  • gooeygood
    February 20, 2003
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    you and your eyes!!! everywhere i go, your always LOOKING at me....
    ~~runs and hides under the covers~~
    cant see me now +pokes tongue out+
    can you?


  • Yusefeligirl
    February 20, 2003
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    Cool background, real alieny thingy.
    Tempting to press those cracks isn't it..just to see what will happen, then undoubtedly regretting it when the whole window comes caving in!


  • Zez
    February 20, 2003
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    pressed

    i love it gill.
    the background is such a perfect fitting. sometimes, usually when we least are ready for it, somebody comes along and presses, then sometimes bad things happen, sometimes there's no explosion at all.


  • Nam
    February 20, 2003
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    I really don't get the 'So' in this line:

    'So minute,it's hardly visible at all'

    Other than that, a good piece. This sort of reminds me of when I was a child I used to take a finger from each hand and press it at the edge of my eyes, and press in gently. It would make me go blind for a short time.

    Boredom does things like that.

    A good piece here.


  • February 20, 2003
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    Damn, Nurse .. I feel stressed reading it ..
    everything just rushes in .. fills me up .. and I feel like exploding, sometimes.

    Love this piece. Really said a lot to me.


  • coffee-agh
    February 20, 2003
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    Couple of good nights sleep needed here Gill. No more up and down the hill for water or whatever. A wee walk for Jack is ok but rest definitely the ticket here. Greatly insightful piece my friend. The eyes have it! -tj-


  • harmonicflake
    February 20, 2003
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    just gorgeous. you take me to a place deep inside myself with your writing.


  • February 20, 2003
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    brilliant write

    I think you are working too hard to Gill,this write shows just how much you bring your work home,I know it must be difficult at times to leave it all behind when you clock off,but you should relax more,but then we would lose out on these brilliant writes..so you can't win either way......brilliant write Gill..



    ~J~

  • NurseChilly gold member
    February 20, 2003
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    Thanks Simon for your comment..yepp I wonder that too?? not always easy


  • birksy silver member
    February 20, 2003
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    enjoyed this Gill. first stanza is excellent. do any of us really dare to press against our weaknesses, I wonder
    Thanks

  • NurseChilly gold member
    February 20, 2003
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    Thankyou Auto,Dawn and Suz.. for making me smile..


  • February 19, 2003
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    NO no no no no NO INSOMNIA Gilly.
    Love you.

  • -Dawn-
    February 19, 2003
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    Perfect background Gill I like this

    Geez it sure sounds like you need a vacation I could feel the pressure builing in this one

    Can't tell ya how often I have felt this way lately so I can tell you this was perfect

    Great poem Gill

    ~~Dawn


  • Autotomy
    February 19, 2003
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    its so.. cool.. trippy.. trippy write you've got here nurse.. now the you're always talking about the detox centre.. but this has me wondering.. are there sometimes.. illegal habbits.. rubbing off on your writing.. cause i do believe i'm a junkie when it comes to your writing.. but i'm not ready to get cleaned up yet.. well.. isn't that comment special.. yes.. i think so..

  • NurseChilly gold member
    February 19, 2003
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    Thankyou kyew for your great comment.. glad you liked it


  • kyew
    February 19, 2003
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    the glass, it prays
    chaos of line and space
    worshipping a sleeping woman

    what an ethereal poem, gill. very nice, I have to say

1 - 31 of 31