In the world of nature's primordial game
where ocean is dancing with the wind,
where childrens are part of the earth,
there are no masters and no slaves.
In this world still lives the Sun's flame,
not only a picture on the wall, pinned,
and how dolphin celebrate the wind's birth
together with the ocean's playful, merry waves.
You can chase the wind, the ocean's foam,
you can dance barefoot on the sand,
and wind will leave you with a smile
with a hidden wink of it's curious eyes.
Before it goes away it shall comb
your hair, a soft touch with it's hand
whispered breezy kiss will stay for awhile
between the land, you and the skies.
Author notes
Jim Warren artwork.
i59.photobucke t.com/albums/g 316/blueoctobe r08/z28206566. jpg
GT: allpoetry.com/ Contest/209137 8
Poem is written in my own new form:
allpoetry.com/ Column/1923543
Written April 4th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- SECONDARY WINNERS for Forms and other Forms by Forms of Me.
300 points, ended June 26, 2006, 1 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Namaste Charishma! Thank you for your time to read and comment my work. This trophy was a great surprise to me but I like it more than others because I won with poem written in my own form. I like to write about nature and it's beauty.
More of my poetry is inspired by real place, but sometimes only realted to my imagination.
I am from Croatia. More about me you can find on my site
~Sonja~ -
Very beautiful...mesmerising effect!
WOW Sonja! You have created a picture painting in words here that is a beautiful delight for the eyes to see, for the mind to visualise and for the soul to cherish for a lifetime. I enjoyed this a lot because of your excellent choice of words that created a stunning imagery all throughout the poem. The meter on the poem is superb. It is brilliant that you have created a form of your own and come out with your own beautiful example of the same. I feel you are very inspired by nature. Where are you from? Truly, if this is a real place, one must go do some yoga and meditate here while the wind combs one's hair gracefully
Congratulations on the victory!
Charishma
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Thank you for your comment and your time to prepare this kind of contest too. It was a great challenge to enter something new for it.
~Sonja~ -
The imagery and feeling are both nicely and well conveyed. We feel you have effectively expressed what you wanted your readers to experience as they read your words.
Your form is very creative and appreciated. Thanks for sharing it with us.
We really appreciate your entry into our contest. We both wish you the best of luck in the contest and all of your writing endeavors.
Larry and Liz
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Thank you Michele.
~Sonja~ -
excellent imagery i felt the wind kissinig my hair - great flow throughout great job
michele -
You are welcome
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Thank you hend ammous for your time to read my poetry.
~Sonja~ -
wonderful poem!!!
Wonderful poem!!! Great imagery!!! I loved this part:
"You can chase the wind, the ocean's foam,
you can dance barefoot on the sand,
and wind will leave you with a smile
with a hidden wink of it's curious eyes." and the last one!!! Great write!!!
Hend
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Excelent my dear friend. I didn't know that you have your own style. What a great surprise! I will take a look to read a little bit more about it. Maybe I will try to write this way. Soon I'll be at home.
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Thank you Buchan for your uplifting comment.
~Sonja~ -
Thanks wtchr. You are right. When I saw this contest and picture I had everything in my head.
~Sonja~ -
excellent
Beautiful Poem ,words and imagery. no more words can I write.
Just thank you for writing and sharing. -
wtchrpr...4.0
I believe that you had a wonderful time with this write. It really shows in the poem. You were very free in this one. I think you were seeing very vividly everything as you wrote. I think this poem was written very quickly...I think it rushed to you. It is very good. -
One day I will tell you where you can find the magic place at the Adriatic coast. Here ve have a little crazy April weather Sunny and warm and then again rainy days, but Springtime is here, for sure
The biggest hug today is for you ((((((( )))))))
~Sonja~ -
I am bookwriter Linda and I am always trying to make a story whenever that is possible and appropriate because of theme. Thank you for good wishes.
~Sonja~ -
You are very close Elizabeth. I was born in the one of the most beautiful town next to the sea, at the Adriatic coast, Pula, well known from the Roman times and it's actual Summer Film festival. Sea is a part of my blood, so to speak. Thank you for so nice comment.
~Sonja~ -
soothing...
Such a beautiful, embracing sensation you described here.. Brings me to some sandy, quiet beach( where to be found nowadays??) with nothing but a warm summerbreeze caressing your skin and a lonely seagull floating on the wind... Wonderful feeling in these still so cold days!
Love you lots! Me
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nice written pictured poem here, like the word structure to form a story, thank you for sharing and good luck..
Linda -
Breezy.
And the breeze is light and delicately touches the face whilst the sense fillwith the salty sweet smell of softly pounding ocean waves upon the ocean's shore.you are a true child of Nature Sonja and can imagine you living very close to the sea.Carming and I wish you lots of luck in the Contest,dear friend.Elizabeth. -
Thank you Abigail. Yes, this is smooth and romantic some way. I know that wind is not always so nice, but this picture and my muse had some different intention.
~Sonja~ -
you can chase the wind the ocean's foam
you can dance barefoot on the sand
and wind will leave you with a smile
with a hidden wink of it's curious eyes
this is a romantic and soothing vision, this poem in this new form of yours works very well, it is very smooth and just as you describe the wind being chased with no thunder or sudden moves this poem is the same
i enjoyed this very much
lol abigailxxx -
Thank you LaLa. You and all other dear girls and pixies are always here, sprinkling your love and magic dust.
~Sonja~ -
Mum, this is beautiful
I enjoyed the read very much, thanks for sharing. Laura
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Well, my dear Shahrzad, this is truth. You realy caught me at the righ time. Thank you for comment and applauze. :
~Sonja~ -
I catch you again.
This is a wonderful piece my dear queen.If you know the address to this amazing place,please let me know that too.
Love you,
Wish you luck in the contest.
Shahrzad
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