"April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land,
mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain."
TS Eliot ~ The Wasteland
Juarez is a cruel place, a wasteland for spring rain.
Eliot said it well.
April, the cruelest month, found me there,
holed up in a cheap motel
glancing at Consuelo’s camel toe
while she sat lotus-legged
peeling petals from a lilac bouquet
and hummed an old Dylan song.
Outside the shattered window
I watched the bridge for danger
like the scraggly-feathered vulture
squatted atop his rubble heap --
rotted refuse, rubber tires,
coffee grounds, shards of glass,
a dozen spent shotgun shells --
the stench of his guarded treasure
pungent in the Mexican air.
In an old Tumi travel bag
slid beneath Consuelo’s bed
twenty keys of coke waited for the swap
from the Cali Cartel.
I shoulda kept my mind focused
on the business at hand
but instead I slid my palm along
the silk that covered her camel toe
and didn’t see the Feds.
That cost me a year in a Juarez jail
looking out the window
at the dirt-polluted rain
falling on the lilacs of a dead land.
And much of every night I read
in the wasteland of my cell
while my mind went south,
my desire swirling like
phantom memories along the soft silk
of Consuelo’s camel toe.
Author notes
A response poem after reading T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland"
Written April 4th, 2006
a revised version of this poem appears in Travis Blair's new book, Train to Chihuahua, published by Old Seventy Creek Press. -Cisco 12/16/08
A contest entry
- The Cutting Edge by onerios13.
500 points, ended April 19, 2006, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 96 of 96
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Hiya Kid.
This is an oldy I remember this. Wonder if I commented? Maybe but I'm too lazy to look through the 90some comments to see if I did.
Anyways, camel toes make good poetry don't they?
Desiree
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Vesuvius only overdosed only Pompeii
Venus' Mountain the whole earth
...and it’s not even a volcano.
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*round of applause* As Usual...
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Smashes Pinata with lots of goodies
Cisco Kid,
I love this! It has rhythm, it fast yet not too fast, the words mix well together
It’s colorful yet not blinding. My eyes darted through every line with a life of their own.
This work is a must read. BRAVO…BRAVO….
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Have been to Juarez for a Mexican divorce and carry vivid memories of that one day across the border.... I am in love with this fierce, honest epic, but am lost sorting out the reality of Consuelo's "camel toe". Guess it doesn't matter, it fixates the mind on it. A year in a Mexican jail....God bless you. Yet, how can we write this good without experiences? Amazing!
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holed up in a cheap motel
glancing at Consuelo’s camel toe
while she sat lotus-legged
peeling petals from a lilac bouquet
and hummed an old Dylan song.
I had ran across this first part in another contest and I thought it was excellent, as I do still. This held tight, like Buk's last cigarette, the imagery both inticing and intricate, a mix between an old country song and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Coarse and cruel, yet at times tinged with a bitter humor, I must say I'd definitely like to stay for one more round of such potent story-telling.
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symbolisum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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i give it a 7.4
Haha so manythings drew me to this poem. First, of coarse, was the title. Second was the name of the author...that is a great Bradley Nowell song. Excellent stuff all around. Seemed a little more like a witty story than a poem, but still good none-the-less. At least ya had a fond memory to sit and jail and ponder over. -
You did a good job with the imagery here, and some simile. Your descriptions are vivid and honest, a short story with 4 good stanzas. The whole poem flows well. Good luck to you
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I would say tasty, but it is more tactile and olfactory in its tang. Great job with the images. I think I was there with you for a bit.
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VERY NICE JOB
VERY OUTSTANDING POETRY YOU HAVE WRITTEN. ONE AMAZING WRITE. GREAT JOB. I ENJOYED THIS TO THE MAX..... -
Great write!!! Must read!!!
O..M..G! If this isn't a riot! I kept seeing this in the featureds and kept meaning to click on this piece and am so glad I finally did
This is SO GOOD! Awesome imagery is evoked in this write. This certainly is rising a chuckle out of me here. Sort of reminds me of a trip to Tijuana on a Honeymoon, without the Coke. It was quite a wild venture, however. There were a few 'cameltoes' without the silk. LMAO! I'll just leave it at that. It was a STRANGE TRIP 
Strange bars 
Think I'll stay on this side of the border next time I go to California 
LMAO!
Great write! So glad I finally read this Good luck in the contest
~ Becky ~ aka Veronica Cross
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Awesome
Very good write! I really loved reading it. The imagery is just awesome. Keep up the great work and good luck in the contest. Wow you got a lot of views on this poem. Very good
Desyre -
vivid imagery
raw intensity ,sexy and definately not understated
good work here
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As a matter of fact I never intended to click on this, probably the mouse did the trick, but was glad to read this, truly twisted, marvellous piece!
Lencio -
Desolation but consolation.
The power of the toe and the imagery is brilliant.A mixture of degredation and desolation mixed with the beauty of the girl and the lotus flower.You built a great story and the plot is told in an amazingly clear yet tragic way.I sat up read and reflected.Well done,friend.Elizabeth. -
good hispanic kinda poem. i only hope that consuelo has had a brazilian, otherwise it would be a serious patch of brambles under that silk...
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Outstanding poetry. This has a great reflection on a memory that lingers in the mind as if it was only yesterday. It reminds me of a few in my life, that years later I can look back and though it yielded some bad times, the best part of that time in life made it all worthwhile. The whole tone of this piece is marvellous. It made me feel as if I were there and held by some private thought being shared deeply and honestly. I would not change a word of this, not ever!
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oh I am sorry I have alreday ckicked this a couple of days ago I will again reiterate what a wonderful poem you have penned here
love and light
blaze -
good
Although I didn't understand the poem, it is well written as it repeats the words of a famous poet like TSELIOT. -
Wierd & Wonderful
Truly cutting edge. You take a calm detached view of a personal tragedy, but maybe that's the way it's meant after you're in prison looking back. Your descriptions remind me a little of "Catcher In The Rye" (that's a compliment, BTW ) Best in the contest, with this unusual story and vivid imagery, I think you've got an excellent chance
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delicioso
i like that!! awesome interesting read bought a slight grin and giggle to my face ... nice job -
I really hate to comment on anything with this amount of applauses on generalprinciple but well i clicked on it so here you go. all the images were dirty and ugly, but they served their purpose and gave me vivid thoughts, I feel like you kinda copped out at the end there not giving us anythingelse about the feds or what not. and we didnt even get a satisfactory discripton of consuelo herself. but lost of stirring images.
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Hahaha. I dig something that can feel tragic and still make me laugh. The narrators situation is so rich with irony you could bag it and sell it. I have no recommendations.
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awsome awsome.... this is great..
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WHen I was reading this, I actually find it quite comical especially the title...thanks for such an intriging piece. keep it up.
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i enjoyed the read very much...absolutely love the title,it catches the eye. i liked the story involved it was like watching a clip from a movie.kudos to you on this piece!
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It's a unique write. Great flow and wonderful images. Absolutely wonderful. The rythm of the poem is fantastic. The content and the title work so well to compliment each other. Very creative. I didn't expect something this great with it's title, although I must say the title does capture attention. Great write. I can't wait to see more!
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Interesting write with beautiful imagery. Distraction! What a wonderful concept. i love how you use the vulture image... a token of a wasted life. A token of your own death. While the innocence of lilacs becomes tainted and putrifies in the April sludge!
What an unusual write. I just don't like the title. I've seen it on the featured list for days and have not read it soley because of the title. i'm glad my curiosity as to why it's been up for so long got the better of me!
Well Done
xXx
Nessie -
Interesting, an aparently vulgar aubject matter, put in written form in such a way as to be overly apropriate, Im a little surprised after reading the title and hopping in... anyway nice work.
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GREAT
this was great. i love all the detail you used. i could picture everything unfolding as i was reading, even the camel toe. i hate to admit it, a camel toe is sexy as hell on the right person. eva longoria yes! rosie 'donnell NO!...BEAUTIFUL WRITE! -
Liked the way you wove these minute details in and around this story you tell here - so personal, and so tragic, yet it seems to not really upset you that much. Well written. interesting story,
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man...I hope this wasn't true... what a story... what a great read..sucked me in... great job... peace..shzoosy
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Wow what an awesome sharing! I'm left speechless because there are no adequate words to describe how well this is written! I wish you the best of luck in the contest; I think this could easily be gold!!!
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ooook... This is awesome... Very good imagery but very strange... LOL... YOu did a great job on this!!!
Beth -
this is terrific! such vivid imagery. and a dirty title to boot. this feels really real and i respect that so much.
nice work -
This is a very good poem, showing how lust can cloud our mind from our focus, great write, thank you for sharing and keep them coming.
rain75 -
Disappointing.
Alot of talent, a lot of applause. A waste of good points however on an incredible poem that without the obvious absurdity, shows the writer's immaculate abilities.
At least next time show a photo to help out the one's who are clueless as to what a 'cameltoe' is.
Otherwise...wow- a lot of points. Hope it evens out somehow since it's not a contest entry. Too bad- without the blatant and uneccessary use of one word- this is a masterpiece.
-M
Edited on Apr 05, 7:38 p.m. because 'I own this place, shut the f*ck up.'. -
Thumbs up, dude
That's some good shit, man. -
The power of "V"
You did an excellent job of telling a sultry, lust filled tale with style -
Excellent poem
You have composed a very heartfelt story/poem. i just love how you pulled us in, I was totally captured wondering if you and that camel ever took care of that unfinished lust? Your talent is glowing! write on! ennovy
LOL! I know what a camel toe is!
Edited on Apr 05, 6:29 p.m. because ''. -
thumbs up
So fascinating, and intriguing.....kept me wanting to read more.
Captive holding strong attention Style, flow and verse were done with ease, and found to be unfaultering in any way
Great write, great read
Sincerely, crjem1991 aka Robin -
Wow! This is brilliantly written and full of emotion! I hope you do very well in the contest!
Great Job!
'Licia
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This is definetly top-notch. You have that brilliant poet quality air about you I have noticed that the more complex a poem is...the more appreciation a poet seems to get on his/her work. Maybe the reason for this is the fact that it leaves a lot of room for interpretation or perhaps it could be that the readers love it so much because if they dont they will come across as ignorant and clueless
you decide
until then...good luck!!
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Wow! I love this, it's so descriptive and cool. I never thought a camel toe could be sexy like that. This is really the first poem I read that has an ending in jail. You done good. This is high quality.
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Wow, this was absolutly amazing. I thought it was going to be a perverted humor poem but it wasn't at all. Very nicely done.
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I like how you combined the light-side/dark-side here. Definently made me laugh.. good job on this, and I hope to read more. Athena
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Never had I read about rain falling on lilacs and a silky camel toe in the same poem - and oddly, it works. Lovely like a gravel driveway and hot and dirty like a Steve Earle song....
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very good
Very nice poem.Shiver of danger spreads over
the secret bridge.Nice thoughts.I liked your poem.
Good job! -
What I enjoy most about a Cisco poem is the deceptive excellence of it. Your persona throws the reader off guard, makes him expect a cheap toss-away piece based on a humorous concept or a sexual absurdity. But the reader finds a real gem beneath the dirt, well-crafted, intelligent far beyond the good-ole-boy persona, penned by a skilled poet and top-notch story teller. This one demonstrates the classic Cisco technique - the "bad boy" tale written in PhD wordsmith style. You are a true artist - bright, bold, and creatively original - who knows how to hold his audience and fans in awe of his talents. And I hope what I've said embarrasses the hell out of ya!
A fabulous one, Cisco. Good to see you back!
Amy
Edited on Apr 05, 6:39 p.m. because ''. -
awsome
loving the silliness -
Great
Wonderfully delicious and silky in an erotic way. Great writing. Great read. -
mm very interesting read this one of course the title caused me to click and well the poem was worth the effort though it would work as well as a short story well done poet
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This is kinda wierd, but still cool. i liked it. i wih you luck in future poems. Keep writing person. Yay!
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I really enjoyed this piece......I too was hesitant to click on it because of the title, but I'm glad I did. For some reason if made me think of a movie trailer......(you know how the previews always look so good). Well put together almost like a story. Great job, enjoyed it!
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Supoib
Some truly excellent and visual writing. If you hadn't mentioned The Wasteland to me, it would have come to mind. Very Eliotesque. lol Of course, it was the hilarious title that made me click the link, but I enjoyed all of it. You've got the touch. (For writing, as well as camel toes.)
One nitpick - shouldn't "hummed" in the first stanza be "humming" to stay in the present tense? i.e., glancing/peeling/humming.
M
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Wow this is totally what I thought it wouldn't be. You did an awesome job of settinf the scene and events in this poem. It brings back memories for me. Great job.
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This is f***ing hilarious. The tone set is quite serious but it still has fun and humor wrapted within. I really love your writing style; the composition is rich and lively. I loved it! Great write!
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this is truely wonderful. It flows so smothly and your form is very good. The title suggested mybe something humorous....but I enjoyed the seriousness. I liked how you managed to draw me in by merely combining the skills you have as a poet with those of a story writter. Keep it up!
well done.
Grace -
I have to admit I was expecting something totally vulgar and I'm pleasantly surprised its not. This read more as a short story than a poem both in its structure and the way the plot line develops. The images from the cheap hotel are very vivid and authentic. I only wish the view from the jail had as much palpable imagery. Very well done.
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the title made me make that face like.... huh? lol. but i'm glad i read it.
i like how you ended it, not giving much detail about the last part. makes the reader think, damn it....why did it finish. lol. yet, it tells them, how baout you use your own imagination.
This was a lovely write. a pleasure to read. Very nice imagery and story. hehe -
A Cisco... what a joy to read you again! There is nothing like Mexico and the way you can paint a tale.
Camel toe huh? ~smile~
Hugs hon!
Mary Ann -
Grande!
How marvelously 'seedy' this is. Having spent time in Juarez, I can identify with the digs and Consuela's cameltoe. Great slice of life piece and as is often the case, the darker side is way more fruitful than the brighter. My first night here, my first comment.
D -
Well! I enjoyed this immensely. My only problem with it is that it isn't a short story which I think would have been a better choice here. But there's no doubt in my mind that you can write - and write well. Good job!! - oce
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Super cool
ahaha, this was superb, danger mixed with humor gets me everytime, Great job, good luck in the contest, though I would guess this might blow all others out of the water!! -
nice title...this was just awesome, lol
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Absolutely stunning...this is certainly a winner and I'm thrilled to have had an opportunity to travel on this journey-talented, well written and well received-congrats!
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Pretty good. The title does suck you in. My dad used to tell me a joke about a MExican woman named Consuelo, and that's another reason I just had to read it. It did end sort of abrubtly, not really giving as much detail to the ending as the rest of the story, but I liked it very well. This would be a grat short story if you elaborated and made it more humorous. Let me know if you ever do, my dad would love it. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest. Keep the ink flowing!
Teresa -
this is quite deep and with a great story in it you did well with this pen and as was already stated you nailed it
love and light
blaze -
experetise
oh God, this is the f'in bomb...of course when i read the title, I snickered and thought...I gotta read this, then asw I did, this story unfolded and I have to say that your vivid choice of words here had me right there on the scene...I dont think I ever achieve that when Im writing, but you my friend have it to an art, and for the first time I think ever, camel toe wasnt just the laughing ass center of the write here, anyway, Im rambling, but what I guess Im trying to get across is that I loved this and how you took me there...also was kinda sad and lonlienees feel too... -
Damn Good
This is a great poem. I like it alot. it's the telling of a story and catchs a moment at the same time. It's my fav kinda of poetry and the kind I write the most. Good job and keep writeing. -
I think you've just nailed this. I loved it alot. Was funny, easy to read and actually enjoyable. Which is a rare commodity around here. Great work!
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Farfuckingout! Welcome back, Cisco.
Masterful piece of writing!
Femme
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That quite simply is great writing- by you and Mr Elliot. The mark of doing this well- fusing the words of two writers and making a piece come to life is when you see it done badly. Many people use quotes and styles from well known poets and the words of the renown poet stands out like neon dog nuts compared to the literary shit served up by a wannabe who some how have the pretence or gaucheness to think they should compare themselves to Shakespeare or Poe etc. If only they compared themselves to Poo that would be closer to the point in most cases. Which is why this is exceptional: Here is a apiece that is so at one with the words of Elliot and so completed in its story of lust and bad breaks, the quote is perfect, the subtext sad and the delivery, funny, compelling and just a joy to read. Well done.
David
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Very nice. I love the stories you tell, Cisco. Don't go letting any more women distract you, I mean, I know you have a fondness for the ladies, but they can get you into trouble sometimes.
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Very good. Title says it all. Camel toes usually lead to the "pokey". All this really needed to take it over the top would be a picture.
Keep writing. -
enjoyable
the title, of course, sucked me in with everyone else... great story within the poem here... enjoyable -
This is great example of a contemporary poem. I always thought camel toe had a negative connotation, but it doesn't seem that way to your character. Good job.
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lol, definitely a great flavor here. i liked it, but it seemed... i dunno, strung out? i almost wanted it to be MORE than what it was. too much here, too little there... i dunno. I enjoyed it, and the style, but was left unsatisfied.
Matt -
Xlnt, Xlnt write my friend. I must agree with the others, it has a different taste to it. But then again, no guy can pass one up. and 9 times out of 10, WERE HOSed. GETS
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I had to read it twice to get a full clear understanding. The visual description is excellent, I think I missed the first set when I first read it??? My mind must be trippin'! No worries, I know what the camel toe is and I know fully appreciate the content of your work and I find it most excellently and cleverly written! A cool lil story!
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Absolutely brilliant I loved this poem so full of atmosphere you really took me with you - And men guess we are all the same - victims of our own desires hopelessly irredeemable - yet so loveable = fantastic poem
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I can honestly say this is not what I expected from a poem that included Camel Toe in the title. You pulled it off very well with excellent use of poetic device. My old HS Lit teacher would be so proud lol. Best of luck in the contest, I enjoyed reading this Keep it up!
Best of wishes
Tiffany -
Okay, so the title brought me here...too, too funny
But what a great poem!
Great job most definitely -
I have never read your work before, but if this is an example then you will see a lot of me.This poem is ACE, the imagery is superb and the content so unusual. Well done, just one question from an old English Lady.LOL. What is a camel toe???? You have my applause
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Darn those camel toes... giving men problems since the beginning of time... Very good write keep it up.
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i mexico she could have smelt like a camel. out side the jail if she drank the water. this was beautifuly done and so vivid love it. keep useing your ink as the paint and the paper as the canvas
love the papa -
Ahh it's been a while Cisco.. but here you go, pulling a sharpshooting from the hip write... that Consuelo seems like a fiesty chicca..
camel toes eh'.... I hope she didn't smell like a camel?? lololol
great write.. -
*blinks* this is rly different, and... wow. gl w/the contest.
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hey most excellent to see ya back cisco... gotta love those camel toes... good eatin'
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My oh my the power of a good camel toe. lol It started giving problems with Adam and it made it to you. Very nice
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wooo hooooo! Cisco rides again!
Man, we thought you were dead. This is great shit.
I'm off to do a happy dance, or some such thing even more fun than that.
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Very nicely done! The sorie moves well and keeps me hooked in. Damn the camel toe! a very interesting subject, different and fresh!
Walk with a light heart and heavy resolve-
-Art -
AHHHH.
Inspiration. Hey there's another contest about Mexico floating around out there somewhere.
Wasteland, spent months with it once. Now everything that is good has some Wasteland in it for me.
Great piece, great title. Excellent entry. Good luck but who the fuck cares - you gotta poem.
Lisa
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Not bad. Not bad at all. I enjoyed this, what can I say.
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This is freaking great, Cisco. I chuckled at the imagery, but just guffawed at the end. I am glad I read this.
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